Most F'd up spam?
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- harlequino
Jumpin jesus, someone just forwarded me this spam. Anyone ever get these? First for me. Are death threats the new Cialis?
SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.
I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don't comply, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days. Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you.
If you are in doubt with this I will send you your name and where you are residing in my next mail. Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike
immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be. Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $12,000 is all you need to spend.You will first of all pay $4,000 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $8,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid before now. Warning: Do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows some members of your family as well. For your own good I will advise you not to go out once is 7pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who wantyou dead then you can use it to take any legal action.
Good luck as I await your reply to this e-mail contact: <mailto:redbulletpoint10@gmail.com>
Mr.Anthonio Benito.
- Jaline0
You should tell the cops/FBI first. Then perform your own experiment where you follow up on the email.
- Meeklo0
thats too long to read, and the title of the thread says Spam..
- Yaff0
Man, I'd start running or cough up
- Dancer0
hahaha:
"You will first of all pay $4,000 then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you"Upfront or what
- flavorful0
That is ridiculously hilarious.
And since when is 12K a lot of money?
... I mean, I'm no hedge here, but I figured a contract killing that requires more than one person (his "boys") would bump up the price significantly.
Also, I love how they put an Italian name at the end. Not stereotypical at all, haha.
- Akiraprise0
Holy shit... I got the same email.
Worst bit was that it was from my Girlfriend :(
- dskz0
I guess Im dead. I just dont have that kind of money.
- Jnr_Madison0
Pop quiz asshole, what do you do, what do you do!!!
- harlequino0
Hey, I'll send you the vid for 3k. Deal of the century!! w00t!
- dskz0
How about you send me the vid and then..we work something out...
(scratches chin)
- 7point340
contract killer: i might spare your life, but it'll cost $12,000 dollars
me: how about $6,000?
- dskz0
How about I give you 20 bucks and you slap my ass instead?
- harlequino0
"I’m a little disappointed that my death is worth less than the price of a used Mazda."
LOL
- TheBlueOne0
"I must point out, however, that your insouciantly equivocal offer of “who knows, [for $12,000] I might just spear your life,” even without the confusing, if not tragicomic, misspelling, is likely to be counterproductive. If you know anything about me at all, you’ll know that I’m not putting out $12,000 (incidentally, can you take a credit card? I get a rebate on my Chase card and that would cut my expenses on this deal) just on the chance that you “might just spear [my] life.” I’ll need more affirmative language in that clause and some kind of warranty."
hehehe...
- flavorful0
I can't see anyone spending that much to kill me.
They should know that me living is a much worse situation all things considering.
As I'm too proud to sweet release myself.
- dskz0
"PS As I noted, I’m new to the threatening letter game, but I’m guessing that your name is a pseudonym. If that is the case, I believe you’ll find that the Russian Mob has superseded the Italian Mafia as the most intimidating demographic. The next time, rather than “Anthonio Benito” you might want to try something along the lines of “Ivan Keripaska” or “Oleg Belkov.” This is not a make or break issue, but in negotiations one needs every edge possible."
- YAYPaul0
LOL if the spammer knew how to write English it might be believable.
I'd be tempted with a counter offer.
- Yaff0
contract killer: i might spare your life, but it'll cost $12,000 dollars
me: how about i design you some new stationery or a website?
- grunttt0
correct all the grammar/spelling mistakes - send it back with an invoice for 50 bucks.