Water Closet Rules
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- 7point340
recent horror story
went to a church function with my girlfriend's family and went downstairs to use the restroom before hand, as i walk in, (this is a church keep in mind, not a trucker's washroom or reststop on the interstate) there is a 40-50 year old guy at the urinal huffing and moaning with his pants down to his ankles the only thing covering his ass is the dressshirt that is obviously too big for him. he turns his head (thankfully that is all he turned) and says hey and goes back to huffing i take about half a second of this in to recognize that i am supremely uncomfortable. added to this moaning and carrying on is him whisping in air like the sound you make when something is painful / burning.
i walk into the stall and stand there listening to it for about 2 seconds when i turn around and walk back out. (the only reason i went in at all was because my stomach was killing me and i had to take a shit the size of kansas) i couldn't handle it. i didn't have to shit that badly though a second ago i thought i was going to explode. it was seriously the most uncomfortable i have ever been in my life.
as i walked out some guy was walking in and gave the dude at the urinal a look which probably mirrored mine when i first walked in. it would have been a look of utter disgust if you could have wrapped your brain around it in sufficient time but more likely it was a look of utter confusion and fear.
my only estimation was one of the 4 conclusions:
1. guy with severe STD
2. guy wanking in church restrrom
3. guy with STD wanking in church restroom
4. actually i cant think of number 4 but i'm leaning heavily towards number 3 anyway
- 7point340
@ 404
i have a friend who used to sign on to IM on his laptop while taking a shit. i'd always be hesitant to start a conversation with him because i didn't want to be talking to a guy on the toilet. eventually he'd just initiate convos himself...
i'd see his screenname pop up and then a couple secs later a chat window would pop up with his enlightening words "ahh, pooping"
great, greg, thankms for that
- Spookytim0
@ 7.34 Maybe the old guy had a blackmarket pessary fused to the wall of his urethra. You got to consider that as an option. Some of those things are made from totally non-soluable agrichemicals. Its a tough job passing water around one.
- creative-0
@ 7.34 or trying to pass a kidney stone the size of a billiard ball out through his pecker.
- 4040
@ 7.34 whatever the case was, that guy should be hung by his testicles.
- 7point340
the kidney stone is possible. or severe urinary track infection
i tried to rationalize it as such, but i was way too rattled.
my favorite is the cough / fart... has that been mentioned?
who are you trying to kid? hahaha, we all know what you're doing. hmm, that's odd, that man's cough sounds an awful lot like a sick elephant
- 7point340
i'm pretty sure i recognized him later shaking peoples hands as they were leaving... the only think i could think was i hope that guy fucking washed his hands with napalm... that is fucking horrifying
- 7point340
by the way, tim, quality post...
it was the first thing i read this morning and i fucking nearly shot snot all over my screen.hilarious.
too bad i've soiled your post with my public restroom horror tale
