Joke Blog
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- vrmbr
feeling a bit numb, so i may go and post a joke.
- canuck0
FFS !
- flavorful0
Let's play a game called "Go Fuck Yourself!"
... You go first.
- blaw0
Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"
The next day they went to the mother one at a time. The mother said tot he first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?" and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike." The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water. When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.
The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!" The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."
The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"
- google joke of the day?tasty
- hahaha what the fuck!? DRINK the Holy Water? Am I delving too deeply into this joke?flavorful
- nope flavorful im as lost as you, you just beat me to the note734
- haha, I like the joke - it's just ... I mean if a Nun or Priest ever told me to drink holy water I'd tell them to fuck off.flavorful
- "google joke of the day?" - tasty
Comedy Central Joke of the Dayblaw - You would not be asked to drink holy water. Nor would you best asked to commit an unholy act.blaw
- I was just trying to hook ol' vormboat up.blaw
- Just reliving my youth blaw. The amount of Hail Mary's, Our Father's, and other prayers were ridiculous, hahah.flavorful
- i thought it was funny. i drink holy water every dayvrmbr
- blaw0
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her
> > face. Her praying roused him from his slumber.He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly.
"Becky my darling," he whispered.
"Hush my love," she said, "Rest, don't talk."
He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "Everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I . I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know, sweetheart," whispered Becky, "Let the poison work."
- heh... better than the nun joke +1734
- hahaha!flavorful
- very poor... nuns were better, there was at least a bit of blue.Rincks
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...vrmbr
- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...vrmbr
- HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
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vrmbr - HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
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vrmbr - HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAvrmbr - HAHAHAHAHAHA
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HAHAHAHAHAHAvrmbr - HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHA ha ha.. *snifvrmbr - sorry, that was one of my regular fits, i have at the end of the day.vrmbr
- .haa!bigtrick
- vrmbr0
i don't care if it was googled. post 'em all here.
- vrmbr0
Things actually heard by tech support:
Customer: “Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?”
Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) “I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn’t help.”Customer: “I have Microword Soft.”
Customer: “Microwave Windows?”
Customer: “It’s not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power hard drive.”
Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Customer: “I have Netscape Regulator.”
Customer: “Uhh...I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure.”
Customer: “I have a US Robotics Sportscaster modem.”
Customer: “I have Microscope Exploiter.”
Customer: “I have Netscape Complicator.”bit nerdy, i know..
- in hindsight, this joke is shit and does belong on some windows tech board.vrmbr
- vrmbr0
A woman went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly departed husband.
The instant she saw him she started crying.
One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish to be buried in a blue suit.
The undertaker apologizes and explains that traditionally, they always put the bodies in a black suit, but he’d see what he could arrange. The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last moment with Albert before his funeral the following day. When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.
She says to the undertaker “Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you get that beautiful blue suit?”
“Well, yesterday afternoon after you left, a man about your husband’s size was brought in and he was wearing a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had always wanted to be buried in a black suit,” the undertaker replied.
The wife smiled at the man.He continued, “After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads.”