Break Up
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- coffeesoy0
and everyone else of course.
- kezza_20
love comes love goes, its the only true thing said here. Things are always moving on.
Lie low for a bit, then get back in the saddle. Wack a Smiths album on, get drunk and shag a friend of hers.
Works every time
- coffeesoy0
"ill add that this came at a bad time. This week was her midterms. Shes on her period. She started her new bc pill. And she just met a new guy friend that she confided in the day after we got in a fight. She says "he makes her feel better"
ill also add we just had sex today. we agreed on having casual sex.
god how wrong is that?
- ********0
Wot kezza said.
I spilt from a girl after 3 years and felt like shit. I moved to London where I knew no one, and now I know lots of people.
You'll feel fine after a year and bit of casual "dating"...
- studderine0
dude. you are still gherkin' her? well....whatever brah.
- coffeesoy0
yea im fuckn confused.
Whenever I mention that becoming friends is not an option, and say that im going to move out of the city. she asks me to stay.
She still kisses and hugs me.
She agrees to casual sex.
Shes either just using me. Or somewhere deep inside shes still in love with me.
I dont think shes capable of the first.
- phatlee0
What kezza_2 said!
- kelpie0
meh, sounds like you're making trouble for yourself here. get some distance, this has car crash written all over it.
- coffeesoy0
i thought about that too kelp.
but shes really not a horrible person.
just hoping theres still a chance.
- paraselene0
she's not a horrible person, but that doesn't mean she knows what she's doing.
you've said that she's genuinely fallen out of love with you and
*believe*
that is as hard for her to accept as it is for you.
diversify your life! get all your eggs out of the relationship basket. work harder, set and pursue goals, learn something new, get fit, meet new people.
it's hard to carry on loving someone when you have become their entire life. she may have been feeling suffocated by the fact that you didn't have any extra-curricular activities.
live a well-balanced life!
- kelpie0
she doesn't need to be a horrible person to hurt you. People don't do that on purpose very often. Just be aware that this stuff might not mean you're getting back together again. might do though, who knows. take care with it.
and have a virtual *slap* for all that "she's my only friend" stuff. grr. don't fuck yourself over like that mate.
- kelpie0
(or what para more sensitively said ;)
- paraselene0
*senses
- spl33nidoru0
i thought about that too kelp.
but shes really not a horrible person.
(May 4 07, 01:07)
ok personal experience : 6 year relationship including 5 years living together. things seem to be going nowhere after a while and we decide to stay close friends and that the couple thing has reached a dead-end.
a week later she meets a guy and starts turning her cellphone off whenever we're together (still living together at that point while figuring things out).
big drama.
a week later i'm moving out, finding an apt in a rush, she drives me to my new place on the way to her friend's bday (said friend invited the guy of course) and tells me "see you tomorrow!" for a planned day out before we take some distance.It was the last time i saw her.
Never heard of her the next day, spent hours picturing her having post-bday party sex with the guy that day, didn't return my phone calls for 4 days etc.i spent one more year in the same time not daring to leave my apt because i was too scared to bump into them. worst freakin year of my life, i was totally miserable and suicidal.
things can snap pretty fast man, you spend years of fun and love with someone and the next day you don't exist for them anymore.
and no, she was really not a horrible person, probably the nicest person evah people would say.
- coffeesoy0
"you've said that she's genuinely fallen out of love with you"
sorry. I just felt that.
we've discussed that we have alot in common. personalities, likes and dislikes, and even goals. were compatible. She says herself that theres a small chance later on that it could work out.
She says that she can see herself getting married with me. but she doesnt want to feel settled.
I smothered her. she couldnt do the things she wanted to do without feeling guilty about not hanging out with me.
I expressed to her that that would change. but she just doesnt have hope.
- rafalski0
In this kind of situations I felt my story was so unique and noone could understand me. Very slowly I came to the realization that this was the commonest thing in the world, happens to virtually everyone. It actually is an important phase of personal development.
1. she's got someone else, that hurts more, but is good, because it leads to point of no return faster. In my book, you're over that point already.
She's done with you by now if she's been looking around. She's in a different mindset and you're history.2. casual goodbye sex is normal and good, just know when to stop. Now would be the best time. Sharing someone you love with some other guy does no good to your self-respect.
3. break it up. don't call her, don't have time for her. be friendly and supernice, but don't seek contact. I f you fail in that, ie. make a fool of yourself by crying her name out loud in the middle of the night by her window, don't worry. Just try again. And again.
Girls want to stay friends for very selfish reasons:
- admiration, never enough;
- keeping you from looking around;
- teasing the new guy;
- and so on..4. be patient. you have all the time in the world. you might think your life has fallen apart and you lost the best of it. It will take time, months, maybe years, it will get so good you will smile at the memories.
Good luck, it's all for good.
- coffeesoy0
should i stay or should i go now?
recap:
-she feels she could marry me but feels settled.
-she thinks there might be a chance as we are compatible in terms of personalities, preferences, goals and still loves me as a person.
-she wants me to stay when i mention leaving to another city forever.
-still kisses and hugs me
-we have casual sex
-she met a new guy who she went to when we fought. she said he "makes her feel better"
-I love her more than anything.
- coffeesoy0
"1. she's got someone else, that hurts more, but is good, because it leads to point of no return faster. In my book, you're over that point already.
She's done with you by now if she's been looking around. She's in a different mindset and you're history."not entirely true. she met him a month ago. she used to make fun of him for being a dirty hippie.
she now says he makes her feel good because he gave her fucking tea and went to the beach with her.
she meets alot of people (men and women) and looks up to certain people for inspiration. It could be completely innocent. or maybe its not I dont know.
she says she doesnt like him.
- Amen0
http://www.askmen.com
ask Dr. Love, he will has the answer for you.
- ********0
Smells like trouble to me.
Get out.