Bcard Redesign part 2 (the real one)
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- 31 Responses
- Andys81
Alright people have a look at this had a ten minute tinka! Now be kind im hoping because its Friday everyone will be in a good mood? Anyway have a look and all comments are welcome!
- phatlee0
Its better but I'm still not sure... hmmn...
What fonts that?
- kelpie0
I think it still needs some typographic work, but I also think your copy could be better - it doesn't seem to flow very well, try reading it out loud, the first line is uncomfortable. I'd also remove "you could" from the contact details...
- phatlee0
Surely people would know you designed the card anyway????
- agentfour0
is that first sentence gramatically correct? sounds a bit wierd. Should it be split into two sentences?
i think on screen it looks ok but if you got it letterpressed, it would be really nice.
- kelpie0
http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom…
looking at it here closer to its real size (on my sore-eyes monitor anyway;) the block looks too cramped, I think because you're mixing up italics and straight letters with the underlines too - it kind of jabs me in the eye. I'd be tempted to open up the leading a bit maybe?
I second letterpress too, please please please try to get to some metal type and do this by hand, it'll look and feel amazing
- kelpie0
offset the block a bit too, for me it looks too central
- ********0
I think your copy is very weak for a visual concept like this.
Try and find some wit or humor for this approach.
- jox0
"..designed this business card – he is a graphic designer".
Comma is wayyy out of place.
- Andys810
Right ill try and respond to all them, before it gets a bit mad.
the font is itc Galliard phatlee,
Yea think I will remove the "you could" will try and reward copy cheers kelpie
yea think I will also offset the block
Cheers people keep it coming
Am also leaning towards letterpress that would look sweet!
Also what do you think about the cyan underline?
- phatlee0
It looks like a student has done it with no thought. I'd rework the copy and change the font.
- ********0
you could contact him *at* for the phone number, not "on"
double space before "You"?
The flush left alignment needs adjustment, the left edge of the text block is wavy and visually a mess.
- paraselene0
everyone says 'contact me on _________' in this country, letters. i thought it was weird at first, too. silly brits.
- Andys810
dont start the brit - yank war again!
- ********0
everyone says 'contact me on _________' in this country, letters. i thought it was weird at first, too. silly brits.
paraselene
(Mar 9 07, 02:38)thats fine, but consistency. If its contact me on "number", than should it not be email me on "email address", not at?
- Concrete0
It's better. I'm a fan of Galliard at the mo, nice choice.
I agree with kelpie about the positioning.
The word 'at' and the '@' symbol, when read, sound repetitive. I'd revise that.
- Bluejam0
on one side:
Andrew Saunders___________
__________________________
graphic designer____________
_____________07896085698
_________________________
hi@printtestdesign.co.ukon the other side:
______________designed
this business card ...etcand yeah, sort the copy out.
- paraselene0
you'd think, wouldn't you? but no.
- kelpie0
shut it para, remember one call to the right civil servant and you're shit-canned, outsider
- paraselene0
do your worst, haggis-eater. i'm an honest woman now and if you don't like it you can speak to my legal guardian!
- Concrete0
Food fight!