Funerals
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- soda
Anyone had to stand up and speak at a funeral? Any advice would be appreciated..
- monoboy0
Yes. Focus on the all the funny and great things they brought to life.
Treat it as a celebration.
- paraselene0
oh, soda darlin', sounds like you've been through the wringer lately.
i'm sorry for your loss.
i had to speak at a funeral once. i didn't know what to do then any more than i would know what to do now, but i remember someone saying that it was okay to cry while i was speaking. so i did.
it's an opportunity for you to illuminate a relationship that you're going to miss pretty sorely, so just highlight the most salient aspects of that relationship: humour, tenderness, respectful antagonism... whatever they might be.
and go ahead and have a stiff drink (but certainly no more than two) before you get up there.
- soda0
thanks for that both of you. It has been a hard few weeks. Been trying to write something for the last few days but can't get through it without breaking down, gawd knows how I'm going to make it on friday.
Thought I would stick to the good stuff and try the celebratioon route. it's all so sad though.
Ugh..
Thanks again.
- phatlee0
The thing you've got to remember is everyone is feeling the same. Just focus on what would of made the deceased happy.
Was it somebody close?
- Kuz0
read a poem by W H Auden,
and picture everyone naked.
- Baskerville0
sorry for your loss soda. I hope things start to make a turn for the better from now on.
having been to quite a few funerals I think the best eulogies make you feel admiration for the departed.
Although a morbid thought, think about what kind of things you'd like people to say about you at yours.
Quite often I have left a funeral inspired to try and achieve more in my llfe.
Concentrate on their achievements, whether they be professional, charitable, or just very simple ways in which they enriched others life, could be making others laugh, looking out for friends.It's not the easiest thing to do, public speaking at the best of times, but somehow you have to channel the pain you feel and express that to others. The fact you have such strong feelings about this person means that they meant a lot to you.
- kidswift-0
I had to write something just last month to send back to NZ to be read at the funeral, so know exactly how you feel Soda! I was lucky that there was one song that seemed to encapsulate how this person made me feel so I sent that with the email to be played while it was read, I think if you can focus on perhaps an aspect of how that person really touched you, something that evokes that feeling and allows you to communicate it in the most simple and sincere way then you have been true to both yourself and this person. Let yourself laugh and cry and let yourself grief and say goodbye for now... be easy on yourself and you will be ok my friend :D
- Bluejam0
light relief (on a serious subject)
- mimeartist0
I had to speak at my grandads funeral just before xmas last year... Was given a religious thing to read from my auntie...
forwarded it to my girlfriend along with a comment and saying 'i'll never remember all this shit'...
...except i didn't forward it, I REPLYED.... Never suddenly went hot in such a short time as that fateful afternoon!
- monoboy0
This one is a fine example...
- moth0
Can't really help soda. I was asked to speak at my grans' but I didn't - various reasons why.
I'm working in soho now soda - where are you spending your days? We should have a drink when things settle down.
- soda0
thank you everyone.
Good advice Baskerville, I'll try my best.
Yeah Phat it was an old friend of many years
Kuz, not so sure on the naked bit and my mate would have ripped the piss out of me for reading a poem at his funeral!
Bluejam thanks for that, jesus, it actually just occured to me that you may have remembered Paul from when you worked at IE too?
- soda0
that's good news moth, all being well I'll be working in Carnaby street next month so we'll catch up then
- Bluejam0
Bluejam thanks for that, jesus, it actually just occured to me that you may have remembered Paul from when you worked at IE too?
soda
(Feb 22 07, 02:23)no way?! i remember him. fuck.
:-(
- kelpie0
sorry to hear about your troubles Soda. Can't help you much, just try to make people smile, even if its bittersweet. I missed it, but my brothers and mother nearly walked out of my gran's funeral last year because the minister was using it as an opportunity to remind everyone how close they were to Hell. No one needed that.
again, sorry to hear about it, hope you feel better soon
- soda0
no way?! i remember him. fuck.
:-(
Bluejam
(Feb 22 07, 02:28)sorry mate, it's knocked us all a bit for six.
If you are feeling generous or want to leave a message you can do so here:
http://www.justgiving.com/paul_l…It's a pretty good charity too.
- mimeartist0
Where in Carnaby Street might you be working?
- Bluejam0
thanks soda
- chossy0
do the best you can soda it will be perfect.
- soda0
No worries Bluejam, sorry again I didn't let you know sooner. :(
Cheers chossy, I think I've got what I want to say sorted just need to build up the strength to do it. It's exhausting.
It will be just off of carnaby street James, I'll let you know when I get it confirmed. Don't really want to say too much before I get the letter.