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- k0na_an0k0
Haha. How about #268 and I'll owe you one.
Quite a few years ago I was working for a design studio in the suburbs. I was working in my office but I had my door open, my light on, and music playing. Everyone else in the office was either out to lunch or had their doors closed. Then at around 1 or so a woman walked into my doorway. She said "Hello, what ya doin'? Got any beer?" I’m like, "Um...no" and she turned around and walked back into the the office and around the corner.
I followed her and she then walked into the kitchen and rumaged through our fridge for a few minutes before I realized that she was not anyone any of us knew. I guess she was a little slow and just kinda crazy. She wouldn't tell me where she was from or how she got in the building. But apparantly our front door was open and she just came right in....then closed the front door behind her.
I finally got her out of the office where she then asked me to hit her. I’m not kidding. After saying “NO, are you fucking crazy!” she spit water all over me. That was when I figured it was time to basically, as nice as I could, throw her out the door. By the time the cops came she was long gone and I felt so friggin dirty from some crazy lady spitting water on me I called it a day, went home and took a 20 minute shower trying to get clean.
After that my boss put a huge sign on the door “DO NOT LEAVE THIS DOOR OPEN, CRAZY PEOPLE WILL STEAL OUR BEER”
It was the dot com era, you probably couldn’t say that now.
- Jaline0
haha, I think a large part of my book is going to be comprised of k0na stories...
- mrseaves0
haha. that's awesome.
if it's good beer- watch out i might be that crazy lady!
we once had a dude walk in - we all thought he was here for someone else - and when we realized he was a complete stranger- he was gone and a girl in the office downstairs was missing her purse!!
crazy wonderers.
- madirish0
watch it- we don't want our book getting too one-sided.
that story is funny shit k0na.
- OSFA0
haha, I think a large part of my book is going to be comprised of k0na stories...
Jaline
(Dec 8 06, 08:50)start thinking of an encyclopedia then... ;)
- Jaline0
don't worry, it's going to be GINORMOUS
- madirish0
GINORMOUS
Jaline
(Dec 8 06, 08:59)*takes cold shower
i hope this consultancy doesn't get out of control.
- Jaline0
oh, it will
- k0na_an0k0
Oh God, thinking about how she spit on me I just got this really dirty feeling come over me. I seriously think I have to go brush my teeth and wash my face/hands.
Ugh.
Thanks guys! It's funny. Everytime I told that story after the first thing out of peoples mouths were "WHAT IF SHE HAD A GUN?!" and I always went "I WOULD HAVE FOUND HER SOME BEER."
I gotta go wash.
- Jaline0
you did get tested, right?
- barbtastic0
sweet...
another lesbatron :P
- k0na_an0k0
Yeah. My I.Q. was 45.
Not sure what that has to do with this story though?
*does cartwheel. smells feet
- spendogg0
Back in 2001 when i was at my old agency we used to have BBQ's every friday in the summer. Most of the people who really did no work anyway would leave at 4.
The doors were always left open, so it was 5:00 and most people were gone, just me and a few female AE's and a whole bunch of leftover BBQ in the kitchen.
One of the AE's came into my office, "Uh we have a problem in the kitchen" So i go down there and there is this dirty bum trying to get his hands on the BBQ and the receptionist wont let him.
He begins to get irate - I was like Dude get the hell outa here - he started to shake and was reaching out with his jimmy hands like he was gonna choke me. So i grab a big plate of BBQ chicken and take off down the hall - the dude is freekin running after me, so i jam out the back door and dump the whole plate of chicken in the grass by the parking lot and run back in the front door. I go look out the window and he is stuffing the chicken in his pockets and grubbing at the same time. Everyone was at the window watching in disbelief, it was funny and sad all at the same time. By the time the cops got there he was gone and they made me tell the story to the dispatcher cuz they didnt believe the cops.
- mrseaves0
haha. spendogg. that's a riot!
- spendogg0
I think i forgot to mention I had downed 6 Beers prior.
- mrseaves0
beer adds fun to everything.
celebrated my 4 years at my company today over lunch. and LOTS of beers. i shouldn't be here right now.
- grunttt0
lover of good beer and mrseaves font... you're becoming my favorite new NT'er.
- mrseaves0
squish. thanx. this is more fun than i thought!
- k0na_an0k0
501
This one just happened.
I walk into the bathroom here at work, do my business in the urinal, finish and walk over to the basin to wash my hands. As I'm washing them I hear a sound on the floor and look back into the mirror at the stall. The toilet paper roll holder had fallen off the hinge and the roll of toilet paper had hit the floor and rolled out to me.
Before I could really do anything the dude in the stall goes "HEY... YOU GONNA FUCKING HAND ME THAT OR STAND THERE LOOKIN AT IT ALL DAY? FUCK!'
So I walked over. Picked up the roll. Walked to the basin. Ran it under cold water until it was good and soaked, then rolled it back under the stall and ran out. haha.
I think the guy was Bill Perkins from the way he was swearing at me.
What a Friday.
I can't stop laughing about it.
- Jaline0
lol