JOKES
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- domdom
i need cheering up on a monday. anyone got any jokes?
here's one...
What do you call a man with no shins?
TONY
- monoboy0
What's the definition of the bravest man in the world...
A man who comes home drunk, covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume, then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next, fatty."
- domdom0
thats pretty funny.
but i prefer the dumb cracks.
whats brown and sticky?
a stick
etc
- rasko40
why did the baker have smelly fingers?
because he needed a poo
- domdom0
that doesnt make sense.
retard.
- ********0
whats blue and fucks grannies?
me in my lucky blue suit.
- rasko40
domdom: thats because you are a fucking stupid cocksucking weasel. I didn't think I would have to spell the joke correctly for mindless semen drinking plebians like you.
- monoboy0
Domdom - 'Kneaded a poo.' Simple really.
What do you call a Scots Native American?
Hawk eye the noo.
- domdom0
hey rasko4, chillax hombre.
sorry i didnt get your lame joke. maybe you should work on the delivery.
its how you tell em.
- ********0
is this place so full of twats, that telling a simple joke (BTW, loved the kneaded a poo gag) becomes a case of 'cocks at dawn'
- spot130
A guy walks into a bar with a piece of ashvault under his arm, he says "give me a beer... and one for the road."
- ********0
The Israelis and Arabs finally realized that, if they continued
fighting, they would someday end up destroying the world. So they
sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with a dogfight.
The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to
develop the best fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight
would earn its country the right to rule the world. The losing side
would have to lay down its arms.The Arabs found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and Rottweilers in the world. They bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter, killed all the other puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk. They used steroids and trainers in their quest for the perfect killing machine. After the five years were up, they had a dog that needed iron prison bars on its
cage. Only the trainers could handle this beast.When the day of the big fight arrived, the Israelis showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine-foot-long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute.
The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring. The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite.
There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief.
"We do not understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They
developed a killing machine.""ORLY?" the Israelis replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons
working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund!"
- spot130
Why couldn't the baker stop working?
Because he kneaded the dough.
- spot130
I had a dream about a muffler last night... when I woke up I was exhausted.
- rasko40
SHUT IT BOTTLECOCK YOU SISTER RAPING PIG FUCKER!!
- monoboy0
Sigh
- k0na_an0k0
2 gay guys (possibly rasko and domdom) were taking a shower together.
the phone rings in the guys apartment and he was expecting an important call. so he says 'i have to get this but DON'T cum without me... i mean it... wait for me" so the other dude is like 'ok ok i will"
so the guy comes back into the shower and there is just cum everywhere.
all mad he says "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO WAIT FOR ME!" and the other guy says "i DID... that was just a fart."
ok. i'm leaving. i feel like i have to wash.
- HumanMale0
Why couldn't the baker stop working?
Because he kneaded the dough.
spot13
(Jul 17 06, 05:45)wtf?! That is such a shit use of that play on words in the 'proper' baker joke.
- PonyBoy0
Enter response:
what's tall, bulky, looks like Will Ferrell and tells gross fart jokes on monday morning?
that pitch-fork throwing son-of-bitch, k0na. :)
- carver0
two poofs have just been at it(bumming)-for ages till his bum is full. 1 of the poofs needs to go and get some of them pink wafer biscuits for a snack and he tells the other poofter he won't be long. he comes back to the bedroom where they've been doing it and and the whole room is dripping in this stinking sticky jelly shit. the poof eating the pink wafers says what the fuck has happened here, and the other poof, says in a little woman voice "i farted'. hahahahaha. gots tons more of them also. sooperb. daft eh??
- spot130
Why couldn't the baker stop working?
Because he kneaded the dough.
spot13
(Jul 17 06, 05:45)wtf?! That is such a shit use of that play on words in the 'proper' baker joke.
HumanMale
(Jul 17 06, 06:14)your insight has made me a better person.