taking a break from your gf
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- jox0
If space is what she wants, give her space. Don't get me wrong, but it sounds a little that you have all your hopes up that she's gonna call you when you're in florida and tell you everything's okay and that she wants you back right away.
I'm not saying it can't happen, just don't count on it because you'll be even sadder if she doesn't. Go on vacation with your mind set on the fact that you're a single guy who can do whatever you want. A change of scenery will do you great as long as you don't sit in the hotel room bummed out. Tell me that you won't!!
- Sven_sk0
A change of scenery will do you great as long as you don't sit in the hotel room bummed out. Tell me that you won't!!
jox
(Jun 5 06, 07:57)i'm not going to just sit around. no way. i'm going on holiday, i plan to do it up right.
- grunttt0
sorry sven. that simply sucks.
you say she's your best friend but is that only because she's your only friend (because you haven't met many folks in the new city)?
I married my true best friend and it's a beautiful thing but our relationship never ever ever wavered leading up to marriage. there were no second thoughts (and we're very open and communicate everything). I think if she needed a "break" ever in our relationship I would never have asked her to marry me and if she needed a "break" while we were engaged I would have broken of the engagement and canceled the wedding. One doesn't go into these things with a "maybe" attitude.
Sorry to be so frank. I wish you the best. The heart can be a heavy muscle but it's strong as well.
- sevenonethree0
Talk some sense into her about
ex. "baby i'm not mad at you, i just sound like am cause i am focusing at work so i'm sorry if i do sound like i am but i'm not."
And the space thing. very complicated cuz it can mean a lot of things. But in my experience and in logical sense comes down to these reasons:
1. wants to fuck other people.
2. getting wetfeet from the egagement.
3. that family problem you were talking about but i highly doubt that the case your dating her not the family vice versa.
4. bored and confused about the relationship
5. and finally most common problem, financial stituation is it stable? maybe thats why she is not stable.
its sad but its true your stable income brings you a stabe relationship.
well i hope i helped. if i knew more details i can be more specific
what kills me right now is how hot and cold she is. i will go do my own thing and leave her alone and she thinks that i am either mad at her (which i'm not) or will call me and tell me how much she misses me and is starting to think that she made a mistake and can see us definitely getting back together. so i get all excited and hang around her a little bit more and she gets frustrated bc she says im not giving her enough space.
its just frustrating and sad bc we do love each other very much and like i said we are best friends but she wonders if we are better off as just friends bc we are a bit codependent on each other. like we're each others crutch.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 07:44)
- jox0
That's the spirit!
or, as the Swedes say it:
Så ska det låta!:)
- Sven_sk0
sucks. we just a got a puppy together to. i love that damn dog.
when i ultimately end up moving out, i hope i get to keep the dog.
meeting girls is a piece of cake with a dog.
- Engage0
trust no one
- sevenonethree0
Im sorry brother, but you need to back off, move out, and move on. Don't let her play the "space" game, especially if she is the one with things to figure out. Obviously she isnt sure she wants you, so dont sit around and let her drag you down. Move out, find a new hobby, and realize that taking a break means "fucking someone else"
it sucks, but girls know what they want, and they dont want space.
Scottizzle
(Jun 5 06, 07:47)stuff like that make guys never learn what went wrong and they tend to repeat the mistake unless you dont care about her, but if you do the time, pain, and effort will be worth it if you try to solve it.
otherwise you will sit there years from now and wonder if things could had been different if you took action and solve things rather than moving on.
- Sven_sk0
when we got our place together, i sold all of my furniture except for the stuff i have in my office. no more bed, no more sofa, no more phat coffee table. its like starting from scratch but at least moving will be easy.
- barbtastic0
my experience with "breaks" is that the person knows they are not happy, but too cowardly to let you go. she is being selfish!!!
if you were really meant to be, there wouldn't be any of this bullshit of expecting you to wait around while she does whatever she pleases.
get the hell out.. and go meet the person that will treat you like you deserve to be treated!
- kyl30
DON'T LET HER FLIP FLOP{didn't realize i was yelling), If she asks for space insist on it, for a prescribed time period. Its too easy to miss you in the short term and come running back. She needs to decide before you get married.
- Jaline0
Grant's right. Usually if there are 'maybe's' it means that someone is not ready for a committed relationship.
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the problem is we've grown together, started to loose who we were as individuals and started to settle into a routine and it scares her into thinking she is getting old and boring or something dumb like its not as exciting as it used to be when we first started dating.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 07:56)Does she watch Oprah? B/c there was recently an episode about how tons of people (mainly women) lose themselves and what they really want once they are committed to someone else. And how they should totally take time away from things or take some time to figure out what they want before pursuing further relations with another person.
Anyway, good luck with everything. I think you should definitely move on soon.
- ********0
"sucks. we just a got a puppy together to. i love that damn dog."
sick.
so it wasn't just oil and toys you pervs use in bed??
- Sven_sk0
you say she's your best friend but is that only because she's your only friend (because you haven't met many folks in the new city)?
grunttt
(Jun 5 06, 08:00)pretty much. but even if i had a lot of friends she would still be a very good friend.
- Nac_part20
I am not saying this will happen to you, but I like to give a bit of the negative side to help you keep your positivity, if that makes sense?
I had a gf of almost 6 years tell me she needed time to herself and breathe a bit to think about what else she wanted in life. I didn't take it as a personal shove at me, just that she wanted to do her running without having to worry about anything else because I knew she was stressed (preparing for her MCAT's)
That was on a sunday night she told me this, on Friday she called me over the phone and told me: "I don't think we should be together anymore"...yea was a bit devastating, especially over the phone. However, what I took from it was the ability to focus during the hardest times, and taught myself how to keep my attention to other important things. Eventually, I found someone awesome, and I love her to death.
Anywho, do give her the space she needs, don't make her feel trapped (as i am sure you know this).... just remember there is still you to take care of too, and like jox said, this is your time to breathe and think about things..
who knows what will happen, but things will turn our perfect...i gaaroontee
- sevenonethree0
.....about things..
who knows what will happen, but things will turn our perfect...i gaaroontee
Nac_part2
(Jun 5 06, 08:06)i concur
- barbtastic0
me too...
"aint got time for bullshit!!"
- Sven_sk0
But in my experience and in logical sense comes down to these reasons:
1. wants to fuck other people.
could be. but i don't think so. date other people but she's not the type that sleeps around.
2. getting wetfeet from the egagement.
i think she thinks that getting married means that her life is going to become more and more boring and routine.
3. that family problem you were talking about but i highly doubt that the case your dating her not the family vice versa.
her mom adores me and i get along with her dad pretty well
but she thinks my family hates her, which they don't and as a result of her thinking this she doesn't like my parents one bit4. bored and confused about the relationship
i think this is the biggest one. i think its become routine and stable and a bit predictable and i think she misses the excitement and thrill of when you first start dating someone
5. and finally most common problem, financial stituation is it stable? maybe thats why she is not stable.
its sad but its true your stable income brings you a stabe relationship.
we both make really good money and make closes to the same amount the finances are fine now. but a while ago when we first moved here, it was a problem bc she couldn't find a job she liked or one that paid well so it did cause some stress but the finances are much better now and not an issue.
- barbtastic0
Sven_sk... seems you are not ready to let go.
- Sven_sk0
otherwise you will sit there years from now and wonder if things could had been different if you took action and solve things rather than moving on.
sevenonethree
(Jun 5 06, 08:02)i'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. i'll give her space and do my own thing and try my best to make it work but i can onnly wait for her for so long.