Sociopaths
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- Cactus
He or she is more spontaneous, or more intense, or somehow more "complex" or sexier, or more entertaining than everyone else. Sometimes this "sociopathic charisma" is accompanied by a grandiose sense of self-worth . . .
In addition, sociopaths have a greater than normal need for stimulation, which results in their taking frequent social, physical, financial, or legal risks.
Characteristically, they can charm others into attempting dangerous ventures with them, and as a group they are known for their pathological lying and conning, and their parasitic relationships with "friends."
. . . sociopaths are noted especially for their shallowness of emotion, the hollow and transient nature of any affectionate feelings they may claim to have, a certain breathtaking callousness. They have no trace of empathy and no genuine interest in bonding emotionally with a mate. Once the surface charm is scraped off, their marriages are loveless, one-sided and almost always short-term. If a marriage partner has any value to the sociopath, it is because the partner is viewed as a possession, one that the sociopath may feel angry to lose, but never sad or accountable.
You would imagine that anyone encountering such shallow, superficial people would run a mile, wouldn’t you? But because of their “charisma” and their glibness, sociopaths are able to entrap victims only too easily. It is part of what makes them so dangerous.
Enhancing the animal charisma of sociopaths, there is our own mild affinity for danger. Conventional wisdom has it that dangerous people are attractive, and when we are drawn to sociopaths, we tend to prove out this cliché. Sociopaths are dangerous in many ways. One of the most conspicuous is their preference for risky situations and choices, and their ability to convince others to take risks along with them. On occasion—but only on occasion—normal people enjoy minor risks and thrills . . . Our normal affinity for the occasional thrill can make the risk-taking sociopath seem all the more charming—at first. Initially, it can be exciting to be invited into the risky scheme, to be associated with the person who is making choices outside of our ordinary boundaries.
Sociopaths constitute around 4 percent of the U.S. population. That is one person in 25. Yes. That many.
- winter0
aka son of a bitch
- Concrete0
Enlightened
- Cactus0
13 rules for dealing with sociopaths in everyday life:
1: Swallow the bitter pill of accepting that some people literally have no conscience.
2: In a contest between your instincts and what is implied by the role a person has taken on—educator, doctor, leader, animal lover, humanist, parent—go with your instincts.
3: When considering a new relationship of any kind, practice the Rule of Threes regarding the claims and promises a person makes, and the responsibilities he or she has. Make the Rule of Threes your personal policy. One lie, one broken promise, or a single neglected responsibility may be a misunderstanding. Two may involve a serious mistake. But three lies says you’re dealing with a liar, and deceit is the linchpin of conscienceless behaviour.
4: Question authority. At least six out of ten people will blindly obey authority to the bitter end. The good news is that having social support makes people somewhat more likely to challenge authority. Encourage those around you to question too.
5: Suspect flattery. Compliments are lovely, especially when they are sincere. In contrast, flattery is extreme and appeals to our ego in unrealistic ways. It is the material of counterfeit charm, and nearly always involves an intent to manipulate.
6: If necessary, redefine your concept of respect. Too often, we mistake fear for respect. In a perfect world, human respect would be an automatic reaction only to those who are strong, kind, and morally courageous. The person who profits from frightening you is not likely to be any of these.
7: Do not join the game. Resist the temptation to compete with a seductive sociopath, to outsmart him, psychoanalyze, or even banter with him. In addition to reducing yourself to his level, you would be distracting yourself from what is really important, which is to protect yourself.
8: The best way to protect yourself from a sociopath is to avoid him, to refuse any kind of contact or communication.
9: Question your tendency to pity too easily. Pity is a socially valuable response, and t should be reserved for innocent people who are in genuine pain or who have fallen on misfortune. If, instead, you find yourself pitying someone who consistently hurts you or other people, and who actively campaigns for your sympathy, the chances are close to 100 percent that you are dealing with a sociopath.
10: Do not try to redeem the unredeemable. Second, third, fourth and fifth chances are for people who possess conscience. If you are dealing with a person who has no conscience, know how to swallow hard and cut your losses.
11: Never agree, out of pity or for any other reason, to help a sociopath conceal his or her true character. “Please don’t tell,” often spoken tearfully and with great gnashing of teeth, is the trademark plea of thieves, child abusers—and sociopaths. Do not listen to this siren song. Other people deserve to be warned more than sociopaths deserve to have you keep their secrets.
If someone without conscience insists that you “owe” him or her, recall what you are about to read here: “You owe me” has been the standard line of sociopaths for thousands of years, quite literally, and is still so.
We tend to experience “you owe me” as a compelling claim, but it is simply not true. Do not listen. Also, ignore the one that goes, “You are just like me.” You are not.
12: Defend your psyche. Do not allow someone without conscience, or even a string of such people, to convince you that humanity is a failure. Most human beings do possess a conscience. Most human beings are able to love.
13: Living well is the best revenge.
- blaw0
trouble with your new manager, cactus?
- rasko40
"Who is more the fool, the fool or the fool who follows him?"
- Cactus0
trouble with your new manager, cactus?
blaw
(May 30 06, 03:53)Ha!
No, just been watching the news and wondering why some societies function, while others are so disfunctional.A higher percentage of sociopaths perhaps?
Normally, societal cohesion resides in confidence of one another. If that is lacking to a large degree, then things start to break down.
- KuzII0
it's the economy stupid
- Cactus0
Capitalism, particularly during the last 30-40 years, merits some of the blame for promoting a reckless "just do it" zeitgeist but I don't ascribe to the fundamental notion that we entirely manipulated by "outside forces."
Human emotions and desires are deeper than the market.
That is a symptom not the cause.
- KuzII0
not "entirely" manipulated by "outside forces". I take it you were referring to failed states. Even if you weren't. All societies are economic products, and people are largely products of societies. The way i see it, it has more to do with
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soc…
than
- _salisae_0
kuz you should write a new educational book series with titles like 'hello? it's social capitalism you fuckass'
will blow the dummies series off the shelves
- grown-sexy0
i want to be one
- winter0
some of them even write books:
http://www.valegro.com.au/rules.…
- Jaline0
You can learn all those 13 rules by watching tv.
- Rand0
I am Ian Curtis
- turosatano0
This describes Steve Jobs really well.
- Cactus0
A Marxist or neo-Marxist view of what is a peculiar but quite common aspect of the human condition is a philosophical deadend.
People who could be called sociopaths have been with us for thousands of years.
Anyway, I didn't want this to turn political.
- pluto0
This thread is over my head.
- Cactus0
Let me bring it back down to a practical level, and more specically, to how some aspects of this personality trait has been commercialized.
"since at least the 1950s the prevailing ethos of capitalism has been the glorification of the rebel, the hipster, the nonconformist. Marketing organizations even that far back were encouraging a “Just Do It” mentality among consumers: Live life to the full, don’t think of the morrow, let the kid inside you flourish, be irresponsible, don’t feel guilty, purchase our product now, on credit, and enjoy, give voice to the inner you and fuck society and its conventions, stick it to The Man by buying our bike/car/T-shirt/records. Far from co-opting 1960s rebellion, Frank explains, businesses actively espoused the idea of rebellion as a lifestyle, if not before, at least at the same time as the counterculture was taking on “The Hegemon.” This glorification of the rebel without a cause has resulted in a society that doesn’t just condone sociopathic behaviour: It actively encourages it. Go look in Business Week and Forbes at the sorts of behaviour that are regarded as praiseworthy: ruthlessness, the capacity for making "hard" decisions, risk-taking. Go back and have a look at what Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling were up to, then consider how they were regarded by the business world before they got found out. And, without wanting to be accused of stating the obvious, have a look at Hare’s checklist for psychopathic behaviour and see how many of the characteristics he identifies are exhibited NOT JUST by the present incumbent of the White House, but by the previous one as well. It seems pretty clear to this reader, at least, that we as a society are colluding in self-destructive behaviour whenever we praise, ignore, fail to face down, or fail to render accountable those individuals or businesses that lay waste the planet or ruin people’s lives for the sake of a quick buck, a profit margin, a legacy, self-aggrandizement, or caprice. Guiltless excess has been the watchword of capitalism for nigh on 50 years, not just during brief periods in the 1960s or the 1980s, and at the risk of sounding like an alarmist, we need to recognize that capitalism as a whole is sociopathic and requires surgery: This is a sociopathic society."
I don't entirely agree with this argument but it is certainly a valid point.