crit/suggestions
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- 28 Responses
- jdcomba
back to school flyer for skateboard shop. any suggestions>?
http://www.josephcomba.com/bts.h…
- todelete__20
i don't care for the text. remove all text.
put a drop shadow on the top 'sale' patch to bring it above the image.
look at what kinds of text the boom boom huck jam are using. maybe even the style. i feel as though this is a nice start but falls short of the final finished piece.
- spendogg0
I think the photo is dragging you down - i would like to see the other side of the board.
Or you could take 5 decks turn them upside down take a photo and do all of your text on the bottom of the decks - make it more colorful.
- Soler0
I like teh "sale" text in 2 and 3, mosdef ditch teh starburst one...
Pay attention to the tangents that the text creat with the image. They should be at the same angles.
Also, you need to create a visual hierarchy in teh text: right now there are 3 competing headlines.
I suggest SALE is big, and teh rest is just subtext
- Fariska0
#2 is the one which works better, but you need another/more colourful photo: too much gray on it.
I like the type, but "sale" needs some other work.
- jdcomba0
ok, are the two on the right any better?
- jakeyj0
pick two fontses i say - get rid of the third font.
and i like the idea of the photo of 5 boards.
- jeedoubleu0
Use a better camera...
- jdcomba0
don't have one.
- ricstultz0
use a more abstact view of the board. stick with one type family and maybe add some handwritten text... maybe some faux spray paint spatters to messy things up a bit.
Try drawing it out first, then go to the mac.
- Rand0
use board shape as negative space dropped out of larger image?
- radar0
Maybe try doing a black and yellow duotone image or something with more color, and I would stick to 2 fonts max, that back 2 school font looks way too frail.
- i_monk0
Boring composition. Isn't skateboarding, uh, less inactive? Where's the human element?
And too many unrelated typefaces.
- Dancer0
As you see by all the responses there is loads you can do with this. Try more variations with image.
I don't like the type at all, very unconsidered. See if you can find an "out of bounds" sign around a school somewhere, or some type of other text that makes reference to your subject.
Right idea needs alot a work though.
my 2pence
- jdcomba0
someone suggest a typeface, or family, i thought i would go the school, colligate route, but is that not working? but i don't really like the whole extreme, fuzzy, scratchy fonts.
?????
- tenpointtwo0
dude- white space!
there's just too much going on.choose 1 novelty font and 1 font for the subtex and go with that.
I'm not feelin that retro video game font. there are plenty out there, get one that looks good in print.
That's another thing. Print it out. I'm sure you'll find that your text is a little huge.
besides that, I dig your color palette and I like the feel of the image. Maybe don't take photos when the sun is out so much, though. Wait until the "Magic Hour" then just take a shitload of photos, they'll come out a lot better.
- jdcomba0
majic hour being? sunset time?
- ThreeSevenFive0
Magick Hour = Early morning or late evening when the oranges & reds are more in the color of light.
Couldn't tell you times since everywhere is different...
- dirtydesign0
Definitely give the photo some kind of style/treatment. It's too stark right now... Explore type...
- i_monk0
Have you done any sketches/comps first?