PVN Anthology IV
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- Jnr_Madison0
lol.. and I really did 'lol' for once!
- ********0
[ if nt was a bar ]
----------------------i'd count the number of comments made per conversation and scream out 100! when the time was right.
_salisae_
(Mar 6 06, 13:31)GOLD!
- BonRickles0
I learned that you can take a camera, a script and sheer determination to bumfuck Ohio and come away with a movie.
If that's not art, then what is?
tconn
(Mar 6 06, 19:59)
- paraselene0
why vespa is the queen of all she surveys:
vespa, please tell me a bedtime story.
Jaline
(Mar 8 06, 06:28)once upon a time there was a little girl called Jaline who drank too much. milk.
cartons of the stuff. never a moment passed when she wasn't necking a bottle of cow juice, or planning her next dairy acquisition.
it became an obsession, a way of measuring time. days didn't pass, they were collated by the sound of empty glass bottles clinking together in the endless recycling crates her local council supplied: an optimistic attempt to regulate the little girl's lactic intake or at least to keep track of it (because if you can't control something then at least by documenting it in word one can prevent Armageddon from descending).
one day Jaline's mother attempted to substitute her lunchtime milk carton with a chocolate flavoured soya drink.
bovines across the nation held their collective breath. cud was chewed more slowly and moos stifled as the commercial impact of jaline's potential soya conversion was risk-assessed.
Jaline too appeared to be holding her breath. or at least her cheeks were expanding. then her stomach grew and her chest puffed out and her eyes bulged.
Jaline's mother was a nurse and she knew immediately that Jaline was displaying rare symptoms of a potentially fatal inverse lactose intolerance, and that unless she was able to release the pressure buildup, Jaline would explode like so many bottles of champagne forgotten in the freezer by foolish and impatient party goers.
In a frenzy she fed jaline charcoal and flat ginger ale but it was too late.
Aware of her impending doom, Jaline opened the door and barreled down the street in a misguided attempt to save her mother from the indignity of cleaning pieces of exploded jaline-brain from the palour, but as bad luck would have it the day was extremely windy and the inflated blimp that used to be Jaline was picked up by a heavy gust where she combusted over the city, pieces of her knickers landed on every household in a smothering glutinous mess of human treacle rending the entire city uninhabitable to this day.
If only they had let Jaline drink milk.
vespa
(Mar 8 06, 07:11)
- ********0
it's some guy with plumber's bum scratching his baws and chewing tobacco, chuckling with unsuppressed rancour at the thought of millions of people worldwide slavishly bowing down to his arbitrary and, let's be honest, most likely ill-informed color schema.
imagine!
paraselene
(Mar 8 06, 07:45)[ about Pantone's HQ located in New Jersay, of all places ]
- mr_snuggles0
I wish I was middle class. The average middle classian has two cars and house of their own. I, on the other hand, have to get the tube with rasko and the like and pay someone elses mortgage.
determinedmoth
(Mar 9 06, 04:38)
- ********0
(which thread is that?)
- paraselene0
(the streets, janne.)
- ********0
(cheers, para)
--------dont get me started aabout whiley, she's a gushing star struck fucking sad old lady, in fact, I have been so repulsed by her lameness that in the past I have taken to emailing her and telling her to stop being such a celebrity whore wannabe trendy youth and realise that she is a washed up old fucktard. Obviously I refrained from swearing and eloquently ruined her with flowing brutality.
rasko4
(Mar 9 06, 02:35)
- kelpie0
yeah that's a personal favourite of mine too :D
- ********0
the reason parrots are so expensive is so you'll think long and hard before killing the annoying bastards. on the other hand parakettes are cheap so when your annoying parrot is making you insane you can go down to the local pet store, by 2 or 3 parakettes, take them home and kill them in front of the parrot. that'll shut the motherfucker up for a week or so and it only cost you like 20 bucks!
gruntt
(Mar 9 06, 08:37)
- ********0
Nasa announcement: "We found an old bearded man in the outskirts of Saturn, who had been dreaming about a planet with all sorts of funny animals and people. We are sorry to announce this, but evidence points to the circumstance of the in-built flash on the Cassini Space-craft having disrupted the old man's slumber and he is apparently awake now.
This means we do not exist. This announcement is possible because the old man is laughing like a fool about his own dream and how on earth he came up with the PC/Mac question in his dream. But soon he will forget all about us at breakfast.
So. Whatever. It was fun. Goodbye."
winter
(Mar 9 06, 10:43)
- ********0
in the (almost) words of goldfrapp
"ride on a white cock"version3
(Mar 15 06, 10:24)
- ********0
How dare him put a design portfolio in a design related PBS. We need more You Tube Videos and shit in there.
Did you see the one where the chick gets busted using a web cam. Hilarious.
fullerc
(Mar 15 06, 15:10)
- ********0
It's a fraud. I just returned from peleas de gallosto and checked this site out, only to be disappointed. I was quite intrigued by the last step in the brain future technology site. The part where you are to hold your head 3-6 inches from the screen. I did a little expirement. Instead of putting my head up I swung my cock in front of the screen. I was shocked to find that instead of the feedback being returned as it should have been (Your Cock is 12" - Extreme) it came back just the same as when I held my head up to it (Moderate).
Apparently EJ has been eating too many eucalyptus leaves and botched this job. This thing is a viral marketing fraud, it cant tell the difference between my cock and my head... hmm wait a second, now that I’ve written this it all makes sence... they are both my "Head"... holy shit. I take it all back, the prophecy is coming true. Ranger you fucking poodlehead, you've outdone yourself this time!!
Keep doing work like this and Novak might finally be able to afford the hair transplant surgery his china town lady has been pushing for!
mr_rico_escabar
(Mar 15 06, 22:19)
- kelpie0
sorry it doesn't technicaly fit, but
-------Amsterdam Clubs
Does anyone one any bars or clubs where the dirty poor hip kids with cool clothes and asymmetrical haircuts hang out?
RedFoxxworth
(Mar 16 06, 06:46)why did you just acquire weapons?
rasko4
(Mar 16 06, 06:51)
- mg330
most men i've had to kill have made that same mistake.
please don't make me kill you too. i'm on an empty stomach and it's not even noon for god's sake.
; )
kOna
(Mar 16 06, 08:41)
- mg330
'a mans taint'?
all I said was make reference to popping a bullet in your skull with a sniper rifle.
kelpie
(Mar 16 06, 08:39)
- kelpie0
man, that sounds even worse in here
- ********0
it is clearly an irreverent commentary on pop culture that remains stylistically consistent with a hint of neo-punk irony. to the untrained eye it might appear to be a blatant rip but it is much more than that. it is an accumulation of majestic gestures too grand to be viewed outside of a glass cage. it is as if my emotional state is being deliberately manipulated. it is everything that i wish to be but will never be. it is the reason for my impending suicide. it is pain and joy.
emokid
(Mar 16 06, 10:21)