I'm dead. DEAD
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- iDp0
aight heres what you should do...I hate public speaking too. But roll with that...make you routine about the dare, your fear about public speaking and then talk smack about your friend for 8 minutes...while wearing a paper bag on yur head. I'm serious that would rock.
By talking shit about your friend it takes the pressure off you focussing on just making up funny stories...it's also the truth wich is usually funnier then the whole 'I saw this guy yesterday...' buh bum bum.
Plus people can usually associate with your fear of public speaking so tossing a bag on your head is physical symbolism of that fear...kinda funny no?
Paypal me my consultancy payment.
- ********0
tell the same joke over and over with different vocal inflections and revel in the humiliation of the audience's hatred
- nicko0
See MX's tuesday joke thread
- ********0
Dont do loose jokes, write a full story
- tomkat0
talk about your twisted manlove relation with jevad - that should do the job fine.
now seriously: stay cool, good luck, my man!
- jox0
What if I pass out standing up there? What if...!
Should I be drunk? I've done karaoke in a drunken state. Bad thing is that I *think* I'm really good, so if Im drunk doing this act and I laugh at my own jokes when no-one else does!! That would be so-oo not cool.
- negat1ve0
sucks to be you!
- benfal990
imitate Jim Carrey who received arrows in legs in Ace Ventura Pet Detective II
- driftlab0
material that can't lose:
"What's the deeaaal with these Corn Nuts [hard air quotes here]... is it corn, or is it a NUT!?"
- jox0
good points there iDp – they have been noted! thanks!
- gruntt0
jox - do NOT get drunk. at least not too drunk.
you'll definitely want a couple of drinks though.
man, that's quite a bet you've gotten yourself into.
what's the prize?
- jox0
the prize is that i'll... uh, win the bet! no money, no trophy, no nothing!
- gruntt0
dang.
- cindsoo0
talk about nt
its usually pretty fucking funny
- Blofeldt0
Call your mate onto the stage and hurl insults at him. Proper ones like
"YOU'RE THE BIGGEST FUCKING CUNT I'VE HAD THE MISOFRTUNE TO MEET YOU WANKING ARSE FACED SHITMOP!"
Then get your cock out and do an impression of Kojak.
- iDp0
oh and its usually a good idea to roll with your nervousness and make your first comment or joke about that...once you hear people laugh for the first time then the speaking will come much easier. I had to give the bestman speach for my brother to a room of 200 people of which I knew like 15...but after I cracked my first joke it all went fine...the two weeks before the speach I was so fucking nervous I almost tossed myself from a bridge.
- Blofeldt0
Lucky you're not doing this in England, make a joke about being nervous and you'd be ripped to shreds here
- jox0
i hear ya iDp. I'm not nervous just *yet* but I'm pretty sure I'll debate the bridge thing myself when its time.
- SteveJobs0
"so i made a bet with my friend ____." *introduce him/her and have them stand up and ask for a round of applause*
"yeah, the bet was for me to get up here and do some standup for you folks - if i win, he owes me a night of drinks on him. if he wins, i have to buy him a years supply of viagra. - it's a win-win for him though, either way, he's up all night".
- Blofeldt0
Get your mate on stage and say the bet was that if you made the audience laugh he'd buy everyone in the place a drink