Things To Say To A Neighbor You Never Met Before While Shoveling
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- mg330
If they are a new neighbor:
So I guess the real estate agent told you about those cult murders that took place in there? Yah, back in 98, the carpet looked like Jackson Pollock came by for a visit.
- gruntt0
(with an effeminate southern accent)
daaang, my gaydar is screeeamin'
- mattyd0
whats up with that kona guy from down the street? he was out here earlier shovelling in nothing but a sock covering his johnson. what a weirdo, am i right???
- k0na_an0k0
Funnies thing I've read in a while.
Am I right? Ha ha ha!
- gruntt0
that is funny shit.
i love NP.
- mg330
If I dig long enough, I'm bound to find the puppies I threw out the garage a few nights ago. Little bastards will be frozen like bricks!
- k0na_an0k0
haha
I bet it's like this every day in Canada, huh? Serves 'em right. Fuckers.
- mg330
What do you think of Elton John, hypothetically speaking?
- mattyd0
you know jevad from down the street, right? well he went public with his own buttocks and made 7 million.
- mg330
Hey, are you the jerk that keeps taking my issues of Juggs from my mailbox every month?
- dopepope0
I didn't want to laugh but I had to. Some funny shit.
- mg330
It's so hard to shovel with these warts all over my hands.
- mg330
Drat! I think I just tore my cathetor!
- k0na_an0k0
did you hear that?!?
....
.... damn, for a second i thought i was hearing that chick i got tied up in the basement screaming again. so how about those bears huh am i right?!? hahaha.
- mg330
I've been having dreams about that daughter of yours. No, the one that still rides the bus.
- mg330
I'm sorry for being so forward, but...well...you're the most handsome man I've seen in a long time. Does you wife mind if we experiment a little?
- k0na_an0k0
hey man do you bleed a lot?
- mg330
Wanna swap He-Man comics?
- mg330
You look like you need to shop at Threadless.
- mg330
Forget this shovelling nonsense, I'm switching to dy-no-mite!!