Office sayings
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- toe_knee0
The gayest one ever
Me
"Sorry I didnt make it in yesterday, I was sick"Cuntface: "Sick of work?"
- k0na_an0k0
kona, @ that chick that got the boot, what were some of her dumb ideas?
fate
(Jan 5 05, 18:00)
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she was the head of marketing and advertising. to name a few...- Outsource ideas for our new marketing plan, when we have 8 marketing and advertising professionals here who we pay to do that.
- Outsource big money to copywriters who aren’t funny though they try to be, and really write shit copy when we have a copywriter here who makes a nice penny checking what someone else writes for spelling errors. That’s all she does. No writing, just spell checking. What a waste.
- “Develop a new image that really captures the essence of college kids”, which turned into outsourcing some guy to draw pictures that look like a 5 year old did them of fat, zit faces, mullet head, racist (black men all had afros, one with a pick in it), wife beater wearing hairy idiots. The studies we did after it was released were great (for all of us who thought it was a horrible idea) the college kids pretty much were all like wtf, you make us look like stupid fat lazy morons. This is a horrible idea.
- “Yellow (more like the color of baby poo), green (more like puke green) and maroon is a nice color scheme, use it on all of our html emails, and make sure you use css cause that is the new technology and we have to be on top of these types of things”. The first 5 emails we sent out bombed.
- This next one was I think the straw that broke the camels back. We were designing a billboard advertisement and we printed out a poster size mock-up for review. In a meeting with the CEO and other high ups in a room flanked by large windows she said “Ya know, you really don’t know how this is going to look until you get it up high” then proceeded to walk over to the window and place it on the glass, the next sentence I still giggle about. She said “I’m still not seeing it... do you?!?.... GOD, I WISH I HAD A BIRD THAT I COULD STAPLE THIS TO AND IT COULD FLY AROUND SO WE COULD SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE IN THE SKY!” very loud and I think I seriously wet my pants a bit laughing so hard. I excused myself and stepped out and laughed for most of the rest of the day.
I could think of about a hundred more but those are the first ones that come to mind.
- k0na_an0k0
hahaha. cuntface. hahaha.
- BonSeff0
omg, i forgot about the worst...
"Can you make me some color copies of these?"
which entails scanning on my 1938 scanner then sending to the printer. such a pain
i need to jack a kinkos apron for such occasions
- pascii0
'So Says I'
'..., or?'
'champagne?'
- mr_snuggles0
We had lot's but can only think of a couple:
"It's something"
Used to describe a new project coming down the pipes.
"Shell of a man"
We had a whole song based on that saying which was used to describe our creative director, which we often sang in front of him.
- BonSeff0
oh, and the owner asks me to take a pic of something and "jpeg" them over to so-&-so
- fate0
kona, @ that chick that got the boot, what were some of her dumb ideas?
- k0na_an0k0
chossy no shit?!? hahha. weeeeeee! should i go there and check it out?
- chossy0
he he not really just a terrible thread about an unsavoury character.
- k0na_an0k0
AAAHAHAHAHAH. dude chossy that IS me! hahaha. er wait.... now i'm pissed and going to kill the guy who has been snapping camera phone pics over the stall while i'm shitting. i thought he loved me but now i see otherwise.
- Gucci0
"jpeg" them over...haha.
My boss LEARNS how to blur something in photoshop and sends out a memo oulining how to do it, like we're also retarded.
love it.
- e-pill0
'Got it!' (which really means i never heard anything)
'We discussed this!' (this was never advised or scapegoating)
- -sputnik-0
turd photos...eeeewww!
how's that weather 2day k0na? we got blasted for 2 days and now its nice and quiet. i hear chicago's nastay.
- chossy0
Yuck you were photo'd on the plop!!
- -sputnik-0
i think he liked it
- k0na_an0k0
turd photos...eeeewww!
how's that weather 2day k0na? we got blasted for 2 days and now its nice and quiet. i hear chicago's nastay.
-sputnik-
(Jan 6 05, 07:53)
+++++++++++++++++++++
not too cold but we got a ton of snow, which my car no likey. i maybe passed 6 or 7 cars on the way in this morning doing 15mph on the road. fuck, me. my car sucks but i'll go insane if i have to idle my way to work behind some guy who must think his tires are made of ice.
- -_MU_-0
I hate "moving forward". I had a meeting with someone who used it every other sentance, i struggled to keep a straigt face.
- chossy0
I loath
"blue sky" which I think is now over with yay
and when people say can you make it "sexy". If we popped some titties and a six pack in then yes it would look sexy.
- nburlington0
"everyone is screaming"
I got this at 9am one day. "Everyone was screaming" upstairs because a minor web update had to be made. I pressed the issue with a false panic
"Oh my god, everyone is screaming?! Who's screaming?"
When I asked for names it got sifted down from everyone to people to just the person who was making the call. she had no real power so she invoked an imaginary screaming scenario.