A Joke
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- Dancer
It's Friday, whoo hoo!:
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey, "Hey! What are you doing?"
The monkey says "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
The Monkey looks down and says "Faaaaaaark dude ....... how much water did you drink?"
- Peter0
You were smoking some yourself while you came up with that one, didn't you?
Very cute.
- DutchBoy0
hahaha
- pascii0
great!!
- donal0
Ouasimodo is going on holidays and needs a replacement to ring the bell, but one that won't show him up.
After a couple of days interviewing people he meets this guy who looks exactly like him, but has no arms. "perfect" thinks quas, and hires the guy on the spot.
The first day on the new job and the temp bell ringer heds up the tower, gets to the bell and waits for 12. at 12 he jumps toward the bell, hitting it face first. The bell swings, rings and swings back, knocking him off the tower and down to his death.
Two women walking by stop and look at the mangled body on the ground.
"His face rings a bell" says one.
"yeah, hes a dead ringer for quasimodo" replies the other.sorry you had to read that, but i had to to type it so we're even.
- DutchBoy0
haha
- ********0
thats a great one!
- iLotion0
"sorry you had to read that, but i had to to type it so we're even."
made me laugh more than the joke :)
- chossy0
yes that was a lovely joke :)
- ********0
A dust bin man is on his rounds and stops by a chinese takeaway. China man pops out round back, and dust bin man sez to him
"how do, where's yer bin?"
"I bin to the toilet" sez the china man
"nah mate, i means, your wheely bin, where's yer wheely bin?"
"Yes I wheely bin to the toilet" sez the China man
ahahaha! fuckin chink! slitty eyed gooks! "so solly so solly! me love you long time!" yellow skinned bastards!
- DutchBoy0
that still made me laugh hehehe
- Dancer0
er...
That's a good Friday feeling you've got Kuz!!
- ********0
by the way QBN, before you ban me, the last bit was an ironic statment on racially derived jokes...umm i'm not a racist!
- iLotion0
Kuz - This you boy?!:
- ********0
lol
uncanny! only, in brown
- PostModernStuff0
some american reporter once got into a fight with Mao Tse Tung because the latter was saying that chinese were free.
- How can you say that? Tell me, do you have elections in China?
- Yes. Evely molning.
- ********0
a man goes to the plastic surgeon to do something about his dick. the surgeon says the latest craze is attaching an el;ephant's trunk to provide extra length and girth...
the guy has the operation and after recuperation takes a girl out to a restaurant, halfway through their soup he unzips his fly and get's his elephant's trunk cock out. it appears above the table picks up a roll and disappears below the table again. the girl says "wow! that's amazing! do it again!"
the guy says...
"love to but i can't get another roll in my arse"
- HumanMale0
Q. Who are the coolest people that work at a hospital?
A. The Ultrasound people...
- ********0
how do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
stick it in the microwave until its bill withers.
- blaw0
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "why not? I'm a fun guy."
- Hizzle0
awesome.