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Out of context: Reply #70380

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  • ben_3

    My wife is working from home this week due to an incident with a coworker on Monday who decided she's sexist because he found out that she has a running group that raises money for women's shelters (men come out to the running group often, but most nights it's like 90/10 80/20. Either way, no one's excluded and this guy is a fucking chud.).

    It was followed by a diatribe from him on the state of men today, especially straight white men, and how women younger than him are all out to "put us out of business". My wife told him she didn't know where this conversation started but she didn't want to be a part of it and walked away - to which he started after her saying "I guess I triggered you, huh? yeah I know I have..."

    My wife's no pushover, but was shook because this happened at 8am when they were in the office with only a handful of other women scattered around. It was unprovoked, and the only way this guy would know about the run group is from her chatting about it with a co-worker who comes out to it or potentially lurking her instagram, she doesn't really advertise her personal life at work. Anyhow she filed a report due to him following her around after she told him to stop talking to her. The guy has been with the company 2 weeks, his dismissal is in the works but in the meantime he's created a defence that all the women who work at this company are sexist and my wife is now also a racist - against who or what we're not sure but he's apparently lawyering up.

    The craziest part in all of this is seeing someone have an incel meltdown in public, at work and then experiencing the legal framework which is in place to protect his rights to come and go as he pleases until the company goes through the motions to have him let go. Along the way every accusation he makes against her or others now has to be addressed through "protocol consistent with the labour act".

    Fun times.

    ben_ 3Permalink
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    • "guy has been with the company 2 weeks"
      What a winner. 'Chud' indeed!      Nairn
    • I wonder how much he raises for mens shelters, since he's so concerned about the state of men. Probably too busy answering suicide/crisis phones.i_monk
    • /\ the funny thing is that if he lurked her instagram harder he'd see that they have donated money to men's causes as well as residential schools, etc.ben_
    • at will employee during probation first weeks? no, they don't have to keep him around legallymonospaced
    • he should be mad at the sexist shelters for segregation ;)monospaced
    • it’s amazing that he articulates this stuff with his outside-voice. He must have a screw loose. At least they won’t have to pay severanceGnash
    • @mono, not serrated, though. men can go to women’s’ shelters as long as they identify as women.Gnash
    • 1. Get upset over a triviality.
      2. When people decide you're not worth their time, project your butthurt onto them.
      3. Not understand why nobody likes you.      garbage
    • You also sound like an idiot so you and guy are in the same club on different spectrums.Hayoth
    • If you are going to defend the women card, then you have to defend the man card. And you are a racist. Judging people based off race is racist and sex is sexistHayoth
    • ^
      https://i.imgur.com/…      Gnash
    • @Gnash, I'm sure. It was a joke :)monospaced
    • @Hayoth, what the hell are you talking about? His wife isn't doing anything sexist, so there is no woman card at play. And race wasn't even mentioned you dick.monospaced
    • On the bright side... he'll have to pay out his ass for the lawyer fees, and will still lose the case.Al_dizzle
    • Americans crave conflict, they draw energy from it. Like neurotic old people, who actively look for reasons to quarrel. I still don't know why this is happeningdrgs
    • Burn the whole continent with napalm, and sow it with 1 meter layer of salt, so that no life ever grows out againdrgs
    • Unfortunately Feminism has been automatically equated to misandry which is what triggers these nutcases._niko
    • Hayoth - If you're going to call someone an idiot, it's 'spectra' not 'spectrums', you ill-educated fool.Nairn
    • I'm also incredibly perplexed how anyone could even begin to consider siding with the antagonist in this tale. But hey, incels gotta incel.Nairn
    • Sorry for your wife, ben... But I'll said too, that I'm delighted of working solo from home-studio, I don't miss the "office wars" thing, srlyOBBTKN
    • Take care of herOBBTKN
    • @hayoth Thanks for instantly proving my point by being an defensive, giant fucking snowflake. Do you accept Venmo?garbage
    • Pay Hayoth no mind...he still doesn't understand the difference between Socialism, Communism, Capitalism no matter how many times its explained to him...utopian
    • Fucking hell! That's insane.Melanie
    • Thanks guys, yeah Hayoth I'm not sure if you're joking or what as a lot of sarcasm isn't really landing these days. I'm fine with whatever you think of me...ben_
    • based off of a message board. In this case the guy is throwing accusations around to prolong the process and race is just one of them. He's a psycho.ben_
    • And @mono, the way the law works here is that as long as he makes these accusations they have to look into them. They could have dismissed him without cause hadben_
    • his boss heard him say it first hand.ben_
    • Lol at Drgs.
      Hopefully the guy will fuck off and it won't go any further.      PhanLo
    • good lord.
      I've seen a few things like this before, but not 'quite' as INCEL as this dude... sounds like he went full-nutso.      exador1
    • my wife's a high school teacher, and she had this one alt-right co-worker years ago that used to try and wind her up... would say vaguely racist stuffexador1
    • around her to get a reaction from her... ..obviously never when anyone from admin would possibly hear it as well...fucking asshole.exador1
    • To think that that guy was also likely a teacher. Great.ben_
    • And that's the thing, he's calling her a sexist and racist for no reason, but preaching the woes of the poor white male. It's like a bad movie.ben_
    • that's like whining about how someone is a cat hater if they adopt a dogmonospaced
    • _ben, i've noticed over the years that there seems to be no shortage of assholes in this world.
      fortunately, there seems to be an abundance of cool folks too :)      exador1
    • @_ben Hopefully it doesn't drag out. It's never fun when you have a run-in with a YT comment section IRL.garbage
    • the guy announced to her hes an incel?cannonball1978
    • Effectively, yes, by the sound of things.Nairn
    • You don't need people to tell u they're a prick to know they're a prick.pango
    • Guessing your wife is attractive to him and kept things professional, as you do at work. Send him a lobster, fucking nut case.BonSeff
    • Cannonball, no, the incel part is just me frustratingly fitting his actions into an excuse.ben_
    • Bon, maybe. The more that comes out about it the more we think he just has a screw loose and this was what triggered him. He’s making all kinds of accusationsben_
    • Now about how my wife and others at the workplace are calling him and threatening him. They also let him go midday and shut downben_
    • Any access he has to files etc. I doubt we have anything to worry about but we are conveniently leaving to nyc tomorrow morning for a few daysben_
    • Holy crap, that's a meltdown. +1 on sending him a lobster.garbage
    • LOL at "Send him a lobster" haha brilliant movenb
    • Would love to, but you know... compassion for the frail.ben_
    • wait your chic first reported him.... hate to say it but maybe your chic was triggered. a difference of opinion and you need to run to management?deathboy
    • i think your wife may have been better with shrugging an opinion vs going to management to effect there livelihood.deathboy
    • first off, I can’t believe I’m responding to you. Secondly, no not just a difference of opinion, after she asked him to stop he followed her through the officeben_
    • badgering her with “you’re triggered?” “Yep I triggered you” etc. - she was alone in that part of the office and felt unsafe.ben_
    • oh look, it's deathboy, the king of the loser, fucktard conservative MGTOW incels, here to spew his gross ignorance around once again ... carry on assholemonospaced
    • Difference of opinion? Go fuck yourself after crawling back to the loser cave under your mom's room.monospaced
    • So yeah she reported it. Fuck you suggesting it’s her fault, get a grip.ben_
    • Sounds like he would fit right in on qbnautoflavour
    • Or maybe this guy is an unemployable, unfuckable dimwit that was called out on his bullshit? Sometimes it really is that simple.garbage
    • He may already be here, auto.ben_
    • haha well ben if she felt unsafe in her office because someone questioned her... seems like too sensitive people all arounddeathboy
    • not a dark alley not threatening. but she progressed it to a management level. now of course what course does another sensitive cunt have to go too? lawyer up?deathboy
    • its kind of funny all around kardashian trainwreck style of two weak as people looking for trigger dramadeathboy
    • if i was the employer i'd be like OMG i need to fire both. Hired to do a fuckin job. No time for this shitdeathboy
    • but hey dont get triggered. i really dont give a shit. just giving you my take from my perspective based on what you said.deathboy
    • like here's the big kid scenario. you shrug it off for the day. if for some reason in a few weeks it is a problem in doing the job you approach person and saydeathboy
    • your grief and what you will do if not taken care of. be surprised how well a little communication can solve shitdeathboy
    • without runnign to management and making mountains of mole hillsdeathboy
    • or maybe you can clarify what following one at work entails? and maybe specify what safety or fear is involved? big office space with lurking around corners?deathboy
    • haha could write a funny sat night live piece on thisdeathboy
    • woke sensitivity vs the politically liberal sensitive counter parts. like hyenas on each other racing to the bottom last bone.deathboy
    • "If I was the employer" - deathboy.
      quote of the fucking year.      ben_
    • She felt unsafe in a near-empty office with a guy following her around goading her on after being asked to stop talking about something she simply asked him toben_
    • stop talking to her about. Instead of stopping he followed her through the office as described, egging her on. So yeah, she felt unsafe.ben_
    • You strike me as the type of person who would be on the receiving end of a complaint like this if you had a job. So not really sweating the critique.ben_
    • well don't sweat it. from your statement i'd conclude an over reaction on chic part that cost a kid his job she knew less than 2 weeks.deathboy
    • stupid shit all around. as an employer though id question wether its worth it, and if this is going to be a thing and look for less sensitive employeesdeathboy
    • and yes she should question herself wether she over reacted and costed someone she doesnt know their job. that is the human thing to dodeathboy
    • even more so considering most people live paycheck to paycheck and loss of a job can be quite a set back. however his possible lawyering up jsut displays simildeathboy
    • ar qualities in running away from inconveniences to greater authority figures. again hopefully you can see how comical it all isdeathboy
    • Deathboy accuses others of being triggered, then leaves 40 comments in a rownb
    • I brought that tirade on myself. I should really know better by now.ben_
    • 3 Things: 1)
      "Take care of her
      OBBTKN"      BonSeff
    • 2) Find this dude a plastic lobster
      3) I get very happy when exador chimes in, love that old schoooler.. Pay attention to him, he shares good advice      BonSeff
    • /\ Agreed, love that he's from close by too, gives hope. Goodnight gents.ben_
    • Shit, also: "the guy announced to her hes an incel?" - cannonball1978
      This how you do sarcasm      BonSeff
    • haha nb. only you would quantify number of posts and relate quantity to trigger effect vs look at the substancedeathboy
    • and good for you ben in realizing you brought this on yourself. finally a little real truth to airing dirty laundry you hope you only find support with yourdeathboy
    • side on. That cheerleader effect echo chamber isn't real life and you should never expect it. Best to expect growth through differing viewsdeathboy
    • The comment about bringing it on myself is just a sarcastic acknowledgment that I responded to you, therefore caused your avalanche of sidebar comments.ben_
    • and so you didnt learn a thing and still only see things from your simple view. sigh... well i guess i was optimisticdeathboy
    • You're like this really smart, contrarian philosopher who just happens to have been exiled to QBN, huh?ben_
    • just a random dude calling out obvious shit ben. take it however you want dude. but please dont think much about me much more important selfish shit to considerdeathboy
    • Scroll up for the answer to the question that nobody asked: "Why did deathboy die alone?"garbage
    • holy shit i think deathboy is also not right in the head. Just because she helps women's shelter doesn't means she is against men.pango
    • she didn't push her opinion on him. he pushed his opinions on her. At a work place (unprofessional). Calling her sexist (ridiculous)...pango
    • and wouldn't stop and leave when asked to (harassment). the company has every reason to let him go. Dude is bat shit crazy.pango
    • and you try to defend his action? shit. you're really not far off from him. if you don't understand that i don't think you are capable of understanding anythingpango
    • Stay wokeautoflavour
    • ^ what he saidpango
    • We're all for diversity. Unless it's diversity of opinion.robthelad
    • the problem wasn't diversity of opinion. the problem was he aggressively pumps his own opinion on others when no one asked him.pango
    • and when she tries to walk away, he persisted and followed her. At a professional work place.pango
    • then when he faced the consequence of his own action, he tried the pull the sex card.pango
    • Only idiots or total assholes would even think to say this was a difference of opinion. Yeah he has an opinion but it was wrong and uncalled for.monospaced
    • he's pretty much the "wont she debate me dude"
      https://pics.me.me/w…      pango
    • there are time and place to go about different opinions. pestering is not one of them!pango
    • There really wasn't a difference of opinion. He brought up HIS opinions on her run club out of nowhere. Then he veered into "straight white male plight"...ben_
    • and ranted about other things including how she probably sees him as an oppressor because he has a black wife (revealed to be a lie, btw) and other random...ben_
    • crazy horseshit about how he can't be around kids as a straight white male as people "automatically assume I'm a pedophile"...ben_
    • The only opinion my wife expressed was that she didn't want to talk with him about this stuff. Then he follows her around chirping her like a nutcase...ben_
    • Little did this guy know my wife is from a mixed race family, her run group has helped men, women, other races, kids etc. etc. He wasn't interested in her...ben_
    • opinion or having a discussion, he was trying to provoke and he did.ben_
    • it's all good ben_ all the rational people here know what went down ... you don't need to defend her or yourself to MGTOW deathboy heremonospaced
    • yep, there is a good crew here.ben_
    • My eyes glazed over when deathboy chimed in.i_monk
    • I should have closed mine. Oh well.ben_
    • Side note warriors!utopian
    • ^ rise up!pango
    • haha. rational ppl not emotional. when she felt unafe in workspace or was followed what was the size of the workspace?deathboy
    • focus on safety because that is the only issue outside difference of opinion which it all is. fuckin green bay or jetsdeathboy
    • can say its not but no it is. teh safety is the only concern. very little detail about actual harassement outside conversation.deathboy
    • saying following is misleading since relative to office space. He walked 10 steps? Did he take 10 flights outside his way? Violent?deathboy
    • So far everything you said sounds quite like one sided heresay missing critical details to back the adjectives used.deathboy
    • smells like guilt a bit. and looking for any moral support to help alleviate a little guilt. but if he lawyers up neither are betterdeathboy
    • both very sensitive people who prefer to appeal to authority than confront reality. is there any case to say that isnt true?deathboy
    • pango when should one say their opinion if not asked? What is considered aggressive exactly? paint me the picture you got from bens storydeathboy
    • im almost feeling like you added a few of the details he left out. also ben send the guy an invite for his take. gotta love the types who dicks get hard fordeathboy
    • moral authority and lynchin with one sided hearsay. everyone from the deep south like ram?deathboy
    • ummm deathboy do you do well in social environment? its pretty common knowledge to know these. what was growing up like for you?pango
    • i do exceptional well in social environments. so well growing up blind voted as a natural helper, and always a confidant of strangers. think its all straightdeathboy
    • forward honesty with no hiding behind any self esteem issues or hang ups. what i think you are missing is your interpretation personally is not to be substitutdeathboy
    • when information is not provided. its common sense to skate over details while leading to the conclusion and hoping people subject there personal experience todeathboy
    • it. i mean we saw words like harass and follow, but its an office. what does that mean. describe the context. ppl typically emotionally try to connectdeathboy
    • with feelings they pick up. details are lacking. and from what is said i stand by both sensitive ppl who prefer to appeal to authority when inconvenienceddeathboy
    • again its totally legal to have conversations of a difference of opinion. never was it about distrupting work. or effecting job. or about a consistent timedeathboy
    • after time with multiple attempts. no it was vaguely about an unsolicited opinion and uncomfortableness. harassment and following lacked details have to scrdeathboy
    • ub them. so if a one time offense (maybe a 20 minute thing tops) and you report someone effecting their livelihood? got see it all arounddeathboy
    • dude was a jack ass in bringing shit up but that is college 101 these days. but seems liek culpability on both parties for not settling things like adultsdeathboy
    • really? then how come you're the bat shit crazy guy here? i think it's cuz people in real life are too polite to tell you to go away.pango
    • which now puts employer in murky situation and as an employer you have to weigh either party is worth the risk to carrydeathboy
    • legal would say no, but dont fire, weight 6-8 months and get rid of other as well. Which is totally acceptable. you take on your own riskdeathboy
    • through your actions. managing clients or employees, or anyone in life is no different. I jsut hope she knows exactly what she may have donedeathboy
    • if not ben can relay the my opinion. take it in and toss it out if worthless. If not maybe grow from it. not like considering it hurts a thingdeathboy
    • you're also adding more details to the story than what was given. were you accused of harassment that you didn't understand why? is that why you side this dudepango
    • who everyone thinks is crazy?pango
    • which is why the the insults and butt hurt from differing emo feeler types is funny. especially the its not opinion! ones. id hate to see them on a jurydeathboy
    • i didnt add any details. i mainly pointed at possible options that change contexts that were left outdeathboy
    • and i care very little for what others think. i thought that was understood popularly already... i think for myselfdeathboy
    • would it change the case pango if by harassment and following he followed to her desk from a meeting room like 15 feet, said his peace and left after 5 minutes?deathboy
    • both harass and follow and felt unsafe can be used in that context easily as adjectives to dress up a situationdeathboy
    • not saying it went down that way. he could also have follwoed her downstairs, and spoke in aggressive tone and even slammed his down on a desk or physicallydeathboy
    • effected soemthing to startle and frighten. but nothign of the sort was relayed. only character assination attempts on opinionsdeathboy
    • so... still left with the evidence, my take, unchallenged by any reason, we have a couple of sensitive people drumming up drama who should be focused on workingdeathboy
    • yes yes so much details got left out. please go investigate more and come back. we will wait for your additional information.pango
    • and insults are not contestation, no matter how many people agree. theyre more a flaunting of ignorance when nothing better to saydeathboy
    • pango you didnt answer wether details of 2 possible outcomes would change your view... instead you chose to deflect...deathboy
    • deflections also telltale signs of emotional responses when backed into rational corners.deathboy
    • an honest response would be hmm, well i may have misjudged and jumped to conclusions but seeign the evidence that way maybe i shouldnt feel the moral indignatiodeathboy
    • n and band wagoned. maybe more questions/details or even the accused view is necessary before FEELING anything. because that is rational...deathboy
    • sigh... but again that should all be capt wow common sense shit. this boys club lost its head and gone totally frat lord of flies shitdeathboy
    • wow cant believe we agree on that.pango
    • well ill take a difference of opinion but be happy on lord of the flies shitdeathboy
    • again her situation wasn't difference of opinion. even if they share the same opinion. he persisted to share it was what got him the boot.pango
    • so you are saying its not a matter of differnce of opinion its that he continued to share his opinion past a certain time limit...? hahadeathboy
    • is this a #timesup non sense thing? can someone maintain a opinion for only so long in an area? again if this time frame was 15 minutes is that too long?deathboy
    • should they be reported for persisting with an opinion with out license or papers past designated safe area time zones?deathboy
    • or at least tell me the legal, or societal exceptable range when one can persist to share a view. that is rational and objective in order to make the casedeathboy
    • its simple. No means no.pango
    • has anyone explained to you what no means?pango
    • has anyone explained to you what no means?pango
    • db, you can suggest all the missing context you want to, it doesn’t make it true. And for the last time she didn’t report it because she didn’t like his opinionben_
    • So question the validity of her fear all you want. Or, like pango suggested, get your trench coat and fedora on and get to work Columboben_
    • Hey look! Dozens of notes I won't read because they were written by a dullard.garbage
    • deathboy, shut up.i_monk
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