Where you at?
Out of context: Reply #58
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- Bennn2
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having the same job since 16 years. Its not in my field but I like it. I'm working for teevee and i'm in charge of the large printing shop... i print posters and banners and accessories for shows. I dont create anything. To fill my creative side i do lots of personal creation and do some freelancing at home.But since a few years now i feel less and less creative, i dont have that urge to create as much as before. I mostly do photography now. I barely make 1 illustration a year... and I dont have as much fun as before creating personal graphic design pieces.
My problem is that i'm super lazy and never really become good at anything, i'm a ok graphic designer, ok illustrator, ok photographer, ok everything... i didnt put all my energy on one thing and ended up doing a lilttle of everything and never became really good at something.
Lots of thing are moving and changing at work and i may face a big change in the next 3 years... I have no idea what the future will look like. I have zero idea what i would do if i lost the job i have at the moment.
Time passing by and getting older is one the thing I hate most. I'm a guy always living in the past and future and never really enjoy the present moment.
And something I always kept for me in here cuz I was afraid of mockery and trolls, but fuck it i'll tell you now, I have strong social anxiety that fucked up my teenage years and my 20's. And that condition made me drop lots of opportunities in the past. I did a therapy and its way way better now tho, its day and night compared to the past, but its still there.
I dont have any children and i dont want any, but somtimes i wonder if i make the right choice on this. I have the same gf since almost 8 years now, i'm not 100% happy on that side too.
Thats where i am.
Deep discussion in here sometimes whoa! :P I guess all QBNers getting older make us more open to talk about this. It would have been impossible a few years ago.
- appreciate that Benn - it's pretty much my story and I know how weird it is even to write about SA in public. Daft, eh?Fax_Benson
- thanks fax!Bennn
- Should have said how weird it feels rather than how weird it is.Fax_Benson
- I really feel that "I'm a guy always living in the past and future and never really enjoy the present moment." part.Longcopylover
- I want to change that for years, but can't. If you have to solution, please tell me. :)Longcopylover
- i will :)Bennn
- Get still.bklyndroobeki