A guy walks into a bar..
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- linearch0
that is the name of my buddy's company.....
- flavorful0
A guy walks into a bar. He orders a shot of whiskey and a beer. Then proceeds to have small talk with other patrons while partaking in a few more whiskey libations.
The man pays for his tab and tips generously wishing well to all in the tavern.
... If you drink our whiskey you will never have to worry about this ever happening to you. You will probably kill your first born before you remember your own name, and would rather rape your mother with your mouth than pay for your drinks after you most assuredly will be thrown out for breaking glasses, yelling out "Mozel Tov", and trying to make love to a pool table.
- Jnr_Madison0
A hermaphrodite walks into a bar and asks which toilet he/she should use and that barman says 'just use the fridge like everyone else you fucking drama queen, celine dion loving, spunk-bubble'
- TheBlueOne0
A lawyer walks into a bar. He yells, "Why the fuck is that so low? I'm going to sue you for everything you have, you fuck."
- blaw0
A guy walks into a bar, notices the "No Dogs Allowed" sign, steps back and ties the lead to his Chihuahua to a post on the porch, then saddles up to the bar for a drink.
Five minutes later another guy walks in asks loudly, "who's little dog is tied out on the porch?"
"Mine. Why do you care?"
"Because he just killed my Rottweiler."
"What!? How could my Chihuahua kill your Rottweiler?"
"It got caught in his throat and he choked."
- nbq0
A guy walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a shot of whiskey.
The bartender asks "Why?" The guy responds and says "I got my first blow."
The bartender says "In that case I'll give you two shots of whiskey."
The guy says "No, I just want one to get the taste out of my mouth."
- TheBlueOne0
A baby seal walks into a club...
- and says can I have some soda? The barman says, Canadian Club ok?Jnr_Madison
- ooohh!!TheBlueOne
- TheBlueOne0
A female impersonator walks into a bar and orders a drink.
But when he/she's done, they find themselves a little short of cash.
The bartender looks at her/him and says, "Hey, aren't you Celine Dion?"
- TheBlueOne0
A Canadian guy walks into a bar, on the stool next to him is Celine Dion. The says to the bartender, "What's this - a whore?"
- Jnr_Madison0
Doogan walks into a bar and orders ten drinks, after he downs them all he tries to pay for it with nude images but the bartender says, 'that's no good here, we only take cache'.
- TheBlueOne0
A man walked into a bar and sat down, ordered a beer and sat and drank it and he heard a voice. "Nice tie." Nobody was there except him and the bartender. "Really cool shirt, too." He thought he must be losing his mind. "I like your hair that way." He said to the bartender, "I keep hearing this voice." "Those are the peanuts, sir. They're complimentary."
- haha7point34
- hahahahah7point34
- WIN!
zenmasterfoo - slow burn7point34
- Jnr_Madison0
René Descartes is in a bar at closing time. The bartender asks him if he'd like another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and he disappears.
- Jnr_Madison0
A Canadian guy walks into a bar, on the stool next to him is some footwear. The says to the bartender, "What's this - a boot?"
- TheBlueOne0
Comic Sans, Papyrus and Impact walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "We don't serve your type in here."
- TheBlueOne0
A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs, and swung him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me, I'm just looking around."
- TheBlueOne0
Celine Dion Walks into a bar and the Barman says, "Get the fuck out you Canadian whore!"
- yerolda0
Celine Dion Walks into a bar and the Barman says, "Why the long face!"
- Jnr_Madison0
A guy walks into a bar and Christan Bale says 'OHHH GOOD FOR YOU...'