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Friday Confessional 3030 Responses

Last post: 3 months, 2 weeks ago | Thread started: Aug 15, 08, 7:56 a.m.

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  • Stecchino

    http://s3.amazonaws.com/designre…

    Aug 15, 08, 7:56 a.m. – Permalink
  • SoupCan

    when I got caught in that small southern town doing 100 mph through the town square, I didn't know that the drunken sixteen year old girl that was riding in my lap was the sheriffs daughter.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 7:59 a.m. – Permalink
  • Jnr_Madison

    I may have overreacted to the fat woman parking in my allocated space.

    • Bwahahahaha! details! pleeeaaaase I love a good plumper bashing!SoupCan1/3
      I'm still too embarrassed.Jnr_Madison2/3
      Damn! I have a feeling that would have really made my day.SoupCan3/3
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:02 a.m. – Permalink
  • SoupCan

    I may or may not have known that the woman that I kick-fucked behind that taco bell had cerebral palsy. What do you want me to do? I'm sorry!

    • offensivesputnik21/3
      again! I'm SORRY!SoupCan2/3
      I was texting while I did it... so I wasn't really paying attention.SoupCan3/3
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:04 a.m. – Permalink
  • Stecchino

    I kinda, like, have some songs on itunes, I kinda didn't pay for.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:21 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    i have gone down on a girl in her period... also known as Angel wings or clown face.... shit happens

    • lol so, so wrongdesign_bitch1/10
      Red wings!SoupCan2/10
      =DCALLES3/10
      but trueCALLES4/10
      Fucking NASTEE!jawks5/10
      are you going to tell me that you have not getten "caught in the moment"?CALLES6/10
      Like, surprise clownface?jawks7/10
      yeah... kinda jokerishCALLES8/10
      ... * Blink. *flavorful9/10
      now you need your brown beardcannonball10/10
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:28 a.m. – Permalink
  • jonatne

    I'm about to take a nap with my wife, and then go swim in the river. I'll probably bill for that time too.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:28 a.m. – Permalink
  • canuck

    I plan to duck out early today.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:36 a.m. – Permalink
  • SoupCan

    my junk is actually hanging out of my zipper underneath my desk.

    • i put my hand down there every now and thenCALLES1/7
      high five! actually no dont touch meCALLES2/7
      I told a co-worker I sat in gum and then stretched it out.SoupCan3/7
      calles you put your hand on soupcan's junk every now and then? post pics please! ;)sputnik24/7
      those freckles look like flavor crystals if you wipe the hair off of it it's still goodSoupCan5/7
      woah!!! what just happen here!!!?CALLES6/7
      calles, turns out you touch other mens penis.cosmoo7/7
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:38 a.m. – Permalink
  • SoupCan

    my junk is actually hanging out of my zipper underneath my desk.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:39 a.m. – Permalink
  • bulletfactory

    i'm 'working' from home today.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:41 a.m. – Permalink
  • jawks

    I have gotten laid pretending I was a masseuse, a fighter pilot and the editor of Elle. No, not with the same chick.

    • Same dude?SoupCan1/3
      giving out the old Rub and Tugs I see.SoupCan2/3
      But different nights.jawks3/3
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:41 a.m. – Permalink
  • jawks

    I think Wichita Lineman is actually a pretty catchy song.

    • Wichita itself sucks though!SoupCan
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:44 a.m. – Permalink
  • Stecchino

    I once let out such a stinky one in the office, that one of the assistants outside my office called the Facilities dude to investigate the "funny smell". Both the most embarrassing and the most hilarious thing that's ever happened to me at work.

    • jawks has a story like thisJaline1/2
      They had 3 guys removing the grills of the air units to check if there was a dead animal somewhere!!!!Stecchino2/2
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:51 a.m. – Permalink
  • SoupCan

    I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom!

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:53 a.m. – Permalink
  • CALLES

    back in my whorish days i had sex with two different girls within five minutes in my bedroom... yes i did take a flash shower in between... but the second one was NOT amused when she woke up and realized she was sleeping on a used condom from somebody else... i slipped

    • is that too much info?CALLES1/7
      fuckin lolcast2/7
      You fucking rock star you!jawks3/7
      TMI, as always, but still amusingJaline4/7
      Jaline, hahah.flavorful5/7
      so does that mean the second one didnt get the sheath?kezza_26/7
      1 minute for sex. 1 minute shower. 2 minute switch girls. and 1 minute sex again?lambsy7/7
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:56 a.m. – Permalink
  • kezza_2

    I once woke up (after a monster session) with a girl whose name i didnt know, and was so freaked out by how ugly she was I ran our the door clutching my clothes, getting dressed along the way.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 8:59 a.m. – Permalink
  • kezza_2

    Oh and even though I know earn a nice fat wedge, I still shoplift because I get a buzz out of it.

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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 9 a.m. – Permalink
  • Raniator

    i pissed up my bedroom wall after a night on white wine which woke my girlfriend up and she calming asked "what are you doing?" to which i replied "having a piss, obviously"... she then asked "where are you?"... "in the bathroom" i said... then i kinda came round and realised what i was doing/had done...

    makes us laugh ever time we mention it.

    • Hahah, that's great!jawks
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 9:06 a.m. – Permalink
  • kona

    i'm debating weather or not to speak up here...

    • I won't tell. Go ahead mang!jawks1/13
      the crying game?designbot2/13
      lol jawks. maybe i'll tell it in here. less people will read. long story short...kona3/13
      don't know why but i've been hit on an obscene amount of times in the past two weeks, with one of them...kona4/13
      ... the thought of 'what if' actually crossed my mind. she wanted to meet up for lunch wednesday. i blew her off.kona5/13
      she got my # from one of my cards i gave an old friend at the pub. damn i feel better. but the thought was there.kona6/13
      it has to do with the weather, doesn't it...Jaline7/13
      Damn! That's flattering! Who'da thunk it! You're not even that good looking!jawks8/13
      that's the part i feel bad bout. but then i hear that sorta thing helps out a marriage now and again.kona9/13
      LOL JAWKS! I KNOW! I think it's cause i go around with the attitued of "Fuck it, I aint trying to meet anyone"kona10/13
      Blasting some random chick in the face like a jackson pollack is like viagra for your marriage!jawks11/13
      BAHAHAHAHAH! This girl was SO good looking. One of the Miller Lite girls... :)kona12/13
      Is your wife cool with threesomes? hahaJaline13/13
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 9:11 a.m. – Permalink
  • Stecchino

    Ok, now everyone... drink 10 Bloody Marys

    http://chistesdiarios.files.wordpress.com/2007/01/bloody_mary.jpg

    • Was her name Mary CALLES?SoupCan
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    Dog-earAug 15, 08, 9:44 a.m. – Permalink

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