Friday Confessional
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- cannonball0
I like flipping the bird to small children. The best is when it's a baby and they laugh cause they are getting attention.
- MrDaro0
back on my single days, I made out with a friend at a party in her house, in her bathroom while her husband was entertaining the guests.
- flavorful0
I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass everyday for the past 11 years! That's 3,000 pennies a day; 21,000 pennies a week; 1,092,000 pennies a year! To date that's 12,012,000 pennies, 8 times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with.
- imagine the noise it all makes when flying out of your rectum!cannonball
- Like a fucking slot machine that just hit the jackpot you shit toucher!flavorful
- KA CHING!cannonball
- UCP was pure brilliance. That's favorite sketchlocustsloth
- spendogg0
I was staying in a shwanky hotel in Chicago once, and for no particular reason i rubbed one out into the shampoo bottle and left it for the next guest.
- tasty0
YOU ARE FORGIVEN.
- cannonball0
I rubbed one out in a library.
- that explains why my copy of moby dick was stuck together7point34
- mantra0
ive done no work today. i've sat here and surfed the web all day until lunch, had a meeting for an hour, and now im back to surfing again.
i dont plan to change this behavior anytime before 5:00pm
- CALLES0
almost got arrested for "male/gay prostitution" thats would have been hard to erase
- mg330
My confession is that the sound of these fighter jets and bombers over Chicago (for the Air and Water show this weekend) appeals to my "This must be what it sounds like to live in a war zone" fantasy that I get to experience during this weekend every year, and on the 4th of July, when all around Chicago you can hear explosions, see bright flashes as far as the eye can see from a tall building.
- SoupCan0
"a friend of mine" shit the bed in the middle of the night after a threesome, so he rubbed a little on the girls hammies and left.
- kona0
i'm debating weather or not to speak up here...
- I won't tell. Go ahead mang!jawks
- the crying game?designbot
- lol jawks. maybe i'll tell it in here. less people will read. long story short...kona
- don't know why but i've been hit on an obscene amount of times in the past two weeks, with one of them...kona
- ... the thought of 'what if' actually crossed my mind. she wanted to meet up for lunch wednesday. i blew her off.kona
- she got my # from one of my cards i gave an old friend at the pub. damn i feel better. but the thought was there.kona
- it has to do with the weather, doesn't it...Jaline
- Damn! That's flattering! Who'da thunk it! You're not even that good looking!jawks
- that's the part i feel bad bout. but then i hear that sorta thing helps out a marriage now and again.kona
- LOL JAWKS! I KNOW! I think it's cause i go around with the attitued of "Fuck it, I aint trying to meet anyone"kona
- Blasting some random chick in the face like a jackson pollack is like viagra for your marriage!jawks
- BAHAHAHAHAH! This girl was SO good looking. One of the Miller Lite girls... :)kona
- Is your wife cool with threesomes? hahaJaline
- Raniator0
i pissed up my bedroom wall after a night on white wine which woke my girlfriend up and she calming asked "what are you doing?" to which i replied "having a piss, obviously"... she then asked "where are you?"... "in the bathroom" i said... then i kinda came round and realised what i was doing/had done...
makes us laugh ever time we mention it.
- kezza_20
Oh and even though I know earn a nice fat wedge, I still shoplift because I get a buzz out of it.
- kezza_20
I once woke up (after a monster session) with a girl whose name i didnt know, and was so freaked out by how ugly she was I ran our the door clutching my clothes, getting dressed along the way.
- CALLES0
back in my whorish days i had sex with two different girls within five minutes in my bedroom... yes i did take a flash shower in between... but the second one was NOT amused when she woke up and realized she was sleeping on a used condom from somebody else... i slipped
- SoupCan0
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom!
- Stecchino0
I once let out such a stinky one in the office, that one of the assistants outside my office called the Facilities dude to investigate the "funny smell". Both the most embarrassing and the most hilarious thing that's ever happened to me at work.
- jawks0
I think Wichita Lineman is actually a pretty catchy song.