Help Me With Insults
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- CALLES
So my fellow co-workers started today "the biggest loser" in the office... they all put in 10$ and the person that loses the most weight wins the jackpot in a month. The fat inocent bastrads thought it was a good idea to hire me as the host. So they basically want me to call them names and put them down during the month to make things more interesting. In other words license to demoralize them... Tomorrow i'm bringing a dozen donuts...
Any ideas that i can do with this?
- AndyRoss0
My, it looks like you're growing a spare buttock. Shows my sense. I would have thought you'd be satisfied with seven.
- CALLES0
AWESOME!!! thats going to help
- Llyod0
go fuck your self
- kona0
print "wide load" warnings and place them around their cubes.
after the first week or two as you're casually walking past one of the contestants look at them and say "wow (so and so)... you really look like you're retaining a lot of water!" they'll for a second think you're going to say that they look like they're losing weight, but you'll crush their spirits with the retaining water remark. it works like a charm.
print out a 'no fat chicks' banner and put it in your cube.
- Studiospooky0
Bugger them.
- ian0
When you see em in the office, squint one eye adopt an 1890's english sailors accent and yell 'Thar she blows'!
Also try hurling harpoons at em if possible.
- CALLES0
i should make them sign a document which states that under no circumstance they can take me to HR
- jfletcher0
"Slow down there tubby... you're not on the moon yet!"
- CALLES0
i shall give them all their respective cow names.... hmmm only if i could find does cowbells!
- 7340
thats a huge bitch!
- radar0
I would give them all names & only call them by that.
Simon SlimSlow, Harry the Husky, Cathy Cankles, Fred the FatFreckledFuckFace, etc.
- 7340
behemoth!
- radar0
burn food scented candles all the time, and say you smell that fatty - mmmmmmmmmm chocolate cake - you want some fatty?
- _salisae_0
what kind of a stupid reality program job do you have?!
- _eh_0
Bring in a chair to your office space, or cube. Make sure that the chair will break when they sit on it, put on a dodgy leg. etc. Then throw in your insult of choice once they are on the floor.