Seinfeld Quotes
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- mg330
DONALD: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT? NEVER SEEN A KID IN A BUBBLE BEFORE?
GEORGE: 'Course I have. Come on. My cousin's in a bubble. My friend Jeffrey's uh, sister, also ... you know ...bubble. I got a lot of bubble experience. Come on.
- prodigalslacker0
yadda yadda yadda...
- Montgomery0
"It's a write-off for them."
"How is it a write-off?"
"They just write it off."
"Write it off what?"
"Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything."
"You don't even know what a write-off is."
"Do you?"
"No, I don't."
"But they do. And they're the ones writing it off."
"I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Package"
- Montgomery0
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fill my freezer with my own blood."
- Kramer, in "The Blood""You've got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy!"
- Kramer, to Jerry who received a blood transfusion, in "The Blood""I can feel his blood inside of me. Borrowing things from my blood."
- Jerry, in "The Blood"
- ETM0
"Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it round tine. "
- canuck0
Kramer working at Leland.
_______________
"Well, you know what they say, you don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle."
_______________
"But I finally realized what's missing, in my life. Structure. An' at Brand/Leland, I'm gettin' things done. An' I love the people I'm workin' with."
_______________
"T.C.B.
You know, takin' care o' business."_______________
KRAMER
[leaving] I'll see you tonight, huh? [turning back, grabs his briefcase] Forget my briefcase.JERRY
W-w-wha' you got in there?KRAMER
[as he leaves with it] Crackers._______________
"Yeah. Well, count me out. I'm swimmin'. Old man Leland is bustin' my hump over these reports. If I don't get 'em done by nine, I'm toast.. [{takes a swig and reacts}]"______________
KRAMER
"What did you want to see me about, Mr. Leland?"LELAND
Kramer, I've.. been reviewing your work.. Quite frankly, it stinks.KRAMER
Well, I ah.. been havin' trouble at home and uh.. I mean, ah, you know, I'll work harder, nights, weekends, whatever it takes..LELAND
No, no, I don't think that's going to, do it, uh. These reports you handed in. It's almost as if you have no business training at all.. I don't know what this is supposed to be!KRAMER
Well, I'm uh, just--tryin' to get ahead..LELAND
Well, I'm sorry. There's just no way that we could keep you on.KRAMER
I don't even really work here!LELAND
That's what makes this so difficult.
- Mirpour0
"Talk to the EIGHT BALL baby"
puddy to elaine
- rockonski0
helllloooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
- rockonski0
"not that there's anything wrong with that."
- Mirpour0
Festivus!!
- edvc_van0
"Amazing! I drive them to lesbianism, and he brings 'em back!"
-Geoorge on kramer-
- edvc_van0
"No, I don't have a square to spare. I can't spare a square."
-Elaine-
- mg330
"You wanna fuck?"
"Okay."
- mg330
woops! that was Jackie Brown. :D
- jox0
I loved that scene, mg ^_^
- gfro0
"These pretzels are making me thirsty"
- laughingcolors0
"Jerry its LA : once you go you'll never leave !!" Kramer
- Montgomery0
[Kramer is at the County Blood Bank.]
Kramer: My service rates went up? You banks are all the same with your hidden fees and your service charges. Well, maybe I'll just take my blood elsewhere, yeah.
Bank employee: Well, we can transfer to another bank for you.
Kramer: Oh, no no no...no more banks. I'm keeping my blood in my freezer with...my money!
- Montgomery0
Kramer: Say you got a big job interview, and you're a little nervous. Well throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret. (singing) h-e-double n...
- nRIK0
Kramer:
"Jerry, I just saw a pigman, a PIGMAN Jerry!"Kramer:
"Somewhere in this hospital the anguished oink of pigman cries out for help!"