Seinfeld Quotes
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- driftlab0
"Sweet Fancy Moses."
- George
- nRIK0
Curb Your Enthusiasm is better :P
Jaline
(Oct 16 05, 09:08)Curb is "Pretty...Pretty...Pretty...Pret... Good!"
- son0
jerry just making your voice higher does'nt make you funny, it justs makes you seem weird
- Carty0
hennigans.
no tell, no smell, scotch.
- Carty0
btw: they are real, and they're spectacular.
- Carty0
you put balm on? who told you to put the balm on? i didnt tell you to put the balm on.
we are prepared to offer you free coffee in all of our locations and....
i'll take it!
she's killing relationship george! a george divided against itself cannot stand!
- jco0
Serenity Now! Serenity Now!
- visualplane0
giddyup!
-Kramer-
- visualplane0
Kramer yearns to move to California to pursue acting...
"Up here, I'm already gone"
-Kramer-Jerry and George nods
- ronaldo0
there's no chance of not waiting, that's the name of the room
- jerry
- armalite0
YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME??!?!?! YOU GOT IT!!!!
– Frank Castanza
- and_den0
"It's amazing how many beautiful women live in New York. I actually find it kind of intimidating."
"Well, you're just as pretty as any of them. You just need a nose job."
- Audrey and Kramer, in "The Nose Job""I'm going straight to hell."
- George, in "The Nose Job""I have never been so repulsed by someone mentally and so attracted to them physically at the same time. It's like my brain is facing my penis in a chess game. And I'm letting him win."
"You're not letting him win. He wins 'til you're forty."
"Then what?"
"He still wins, but it's not a blow-out."
- Jerry and George, in "The Nose Job"
- and_den0
"Low flow? I don't like the sound of that."
- Kramer, in "The Shower Head""You see this? Any thought pops into their head, they're calling me because it's a local call now. I'm used to a 1200-mile buffer zone. I can't handle this. Plus, I've got the dinners, I've got the pop-in's. They pop-in! It's brutal."
- Jerry, about his parents, in "The Shower Head""If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer."
- Kramer, in "The Shower Head""If you could perhaps conduct the psychopath convention down the hall..."
- Jerry, to his parents and the Costanzas, in "The Shower Head""I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!"
"No good?"
"It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Shower Head""Now here's the lowdown. Through a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers."
"Not from the footage I've seen."
- Newman and Jerry, in "The Shower Head""This is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court. And I dare you to keep me out!"
- Frank Costanza, to Jerry's dad, in "The Shower Head""Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy. All kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death... which is not far off by the way."
- Jerry, to Uncle Leo, in "The Shower Head"
- Jnr_Madison0
"Space docking?... I'll try that next time"
-kramer
- and_den0
"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. *That's* a fantasy camp!"
- George, in "The Visa""Listen to me. We're always sitting here. I'm always helping you with your girl problems, you're always helping me with my girl problems. Where do we end up?"
"Here."
"Exactly. Because neither one of us can handle a woman all by ourselves."
"I'm trying."
"I've tried. We don't have it. But maybe the two of us, working together, at full capacity, could do the job of one normal man."
"Then each of us would only have to be like a half-man. That sounds about right."
- George and Jerry, in "The Summer of George""What is so appealing to men about a catfight?"
"Because men think if women are grabbing and clawing at each other, there's a chance they might somehow kiss."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Summer of George"
- Ramanisky20
"Now see, this is what the holidays are all about, three buddies sitting around chewing gum."
Cosmo Kramer
- imbecile1
no soup for you!
- turnerworks0
"Soooooo you know the name, huh? The cat's *rheeeeeeennghh" outta the bag!"