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how do you feel about being married and having a deep meaningful platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex? would your spouse approve if this is a new relationship developing?
My wife wouldn't approve, because i told here many times it's impossible.
- why is it impossible?transmission
- Because penisrobotron3k
I feel great about it. Any marraige worth its salt has enough trust and co-compassion to wish this for each other.
I have had many platonic friendships with women. I have never been married though. any relationship has to be based on trust-- your spouse would have to think (or fear) that you were a real shit to cheat on her with someone you were saying was a friend.
I would hope my significant other would understand. I would, and I would trust.
isn't marriage a plutonic relationship already? Why another one?
- It get plutonic after no more sexorobotron3k
Plantonic with benefits?
- Plant Tonicdocpoz
Don't build a bubble around you and your partner. You still have friends of both sex and need to maintain those friendships.
You and/or your wife might have a trust issue if you go nuts when your partner is alone with someone of the opposite sex for more than one hour.
We are all hypocrites ultimately and the level of hypocrisy denial shows how much we want to believe that it is possible NOT to be physically attracted to the platonic friend. At some point the platonic friend temporarily will outweigh your marriage and then you are in big trouble. Has nothing to do with trust but with basic biology.
- it's fine to be attracted to your friend, you just have to not kiss them or have sex with them. doesn't seem that hard.sarahfailin
- it's not inevitable that the platonic friend will become serious though, there's only a chance of it happeningmonospaced
- "doesn't seem that hard" when you are in a meaningful platonic relationship? - don't think so.pr2
- I totally understand you, pr2, but not all people find it so hard they can't resist.monospaced
- oh sorry, wrong thread.sarahfailin
My spouse is okay with my deep, meaningful platonic relationships that go back decades before we met. This is possible due to mutual trust and also involving her in those relationships. For example, I met up with my close female friend on a recent trip home, and my wife joined us. She knows we go back to early teen years and shared a lot of intimate experiences, but she also trusts that I wouldn't take it anywhere.
- I think that's the secret, ensuring one's spouse is a part of these relationships. It's when they're solo/exclusive that things can get tricky.MondoMorphic
Platonic is a weird term (does it derive from Plato?).
How about just friendship? We've all had friends who are women right?
- it does derive from plato. https://en.wikipedia…sarahfailin
Got burned on this very subject last year....was not good.
I have an illustrator friend who I was working towards collating with and it was looking like we were going to make a go of it as a business....I'd finally be doing what I really wanted to do.
She saw (long story) a off the cuff text from her about 'how she wished she could have been with me doing this years ago'....out of context....she went fucking ballistic and our relationship almost ended.
Needless to say there was nothing going on, the friendship was destroyed and my opportunity for happiness was fucked.
- the first "She" in your third paragraph is your wife/gf/partner, right?dorf
- sounds like this was based on an underlying trust issue more than anything elsemonospaced
- *both...she saw (wife)....she wished (friend)see_thru
- Perhaps...though I think she saw it more as a threat to her status quo. My friend lives 1,100k away. Not like I'm going to 'working late' anytime...see_thru
- That sucks to lose friends over this. Especially that your girlfriend (?) didn't believe you even after you told the truth, in context.monospaced
I think it's all based on trust, honesty, and really knowing your spouse. When it's put out like 'deep, meaningful 'etc.... i dunno.... my wife is my best friend. so..all the 'deep, meanigful' stuff is with her....as it should be i think...
that said, I have great friendships with other women... one lady here at the office is a really good buddy...been friends with her for about a decade now.... but, we tend to do things like 'couple' friends....if we go out for lunch etc, we'll call my wife and kids or her husband and kids to join us, etc....
same goes with my wife...she's got guy friends she teaches with (she's a highschool teacher) but I'm included in the friendships....we often see them outside of school etc...have lunches out, or dinner etc....
everyone is different as well....what works for some ma
There is nothing wrong being close w/people... it's when you start depending / relying / sharing too much (things you might keep from your partner) that shit can go awry.
You partner committed to you to be that person you go to. Having a really good friend opposite the sex of your Spouse is far different... same sex is where you're asking for trouble. Whether you like it or not we all get jealous as we're all imperfect... you're opening the door for that and so much more w/what you call a 'platonic' relationship.
If that thinking makes me old and out-dated... so be it.
If you need another 'special friend' outside of your Spouse then you're doing it wrong.
My girlfriend would probably be super jealous, but that's her personality. I honestly don't give a shit who her friends are, guys or girls. I've never snooped through anyone's phone before or any of that stuff (have been cheated on though).
I've had platonic friends in the past who were women, but we generally slept together at some point. It's like, some random evening you're hanging out doing an art project or whatever ... and ... well, it's just human nature folks. And yes, it usually makes it weird after the fact. Someone wants to take it to the next level after that.
I think it's easier for girls to be friends with guys, than the other way around. Maybe because they're blocking advances from men 24/7, it's just another day. But dudes will take a shot when we can get it.
Would you like to see her interact with guys the way you do with your female friends? You can have friends, just keep your partner in the picture and make sure everyone is on the same page.