Platonic relationships
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- dorf0
let me ask you guys something similar. what about having a platonic relationship after being intimate? I'm in that current situation and not sure how or if it'll work out.
- seems like it could work if neither of you are jealous (and not meaning to sound harsh here), and so long as there's value in a relationship outside of sex.ben_
- transmission0
you all have made good valid points on both sides of the coin.
the biggest issue I'm dealing with is the fact that my friend is single which is partly why my wife is jealous. SO it's not like we can hang out like couples. the friend would be a third wheel if we do. But I'd like to find a way to have us all hang out.
I've always had problems making and keeping friends and my wife knows that. and i'm making an effort to make meaningful relationships wit people that aren't my family members. So she accepts and respects that.
I just want to find a way to show my wife that it's an innocent and based on how my friend and I work well together on a creative level. my wife is not in the creative industry FYI.
- Nothing screams Creative Industry like QBN, sign her up.Maaku
- embrace the chaos, have a threesomeautoflavour
- pango0
Ya I've kind of lost quite a few friends to marriages.
It annoying me that around 50% of my female friend's husband don't like their wife hanging out with me...
Especially when I've been friend with them longer than how long he's known her.
Also babies... Fuken babies...
- notype0
Friendship with other couples, ...I don't see why not.
Kind of weird to have a new friendship (not in another group) with someone you wouldn't hang out with, w/ your partner. Could just be me.
- BK0
I don't think my wife would be too stoked on me hanging out 1 on 1 with some new hot chick platonically or not.
Pretty much the only female friends I can get away with are either from work, friends of both of ours or friends I knew pre-marriage.
I'd feel the same way if she was trying to hang with some studly dreamboat.
- what if she wasn't a "hot chick" and just a really good friend?monospaced
- I don't think she could ever evolve to really good friend if we never hang out. Old friends are different, I'm thinking about a new friend.BK
- i seemonospaced
- Maaku2
Would you like to see her interact with guys the way you do with your female friends? You can have friends, just keep your partner in the picture and make sure everyone is on the same page.
- section_0140
My girlfriend would probably be super jealous, but that's her personality. I honestly don't give a shit who her friends are, guys or girls. I've never snooped through anyone's phone before or any of that stuff (have been cheated on though).
I've had platonic friends in the past who were women, but we generally slept together at some point. It's like, some random evening you're hanging out doing an art project or whatever ... and ... well, it's just human nature folks. And yes, it usually makes it weird after the fact. Someone wants to take it to the next level after that.
I think it's easier for girls to be friends with guys, than the other way around. Maybe because they're blocking advances from men 24/7, it's just another day. But dudes will take a shot when we can get it.
- pango1
What about tectonic relationship?
- PonyBoy0
There is nothing wrong being close w/people... it's when you start depending / relying / sharing too much (things you might keep from your partner) that shit can go awry.
You partner committed to you to be that person you go to. Having a really good friend opposite the sex of your Spouse is far different... same sex is where you're asking for trouble. Whether you like it or not we all get jealous as we're all imperfect... you're opening the door for that and so much more w/what you call a 'platonic' relationship.
If that thinking makes me old and out-dated... so be it.
If you need another 'special friend' outside of your Spouse then you're doing it wrong.
- dbloc0
What about Plutonic Relationships?
- exador10
I think it's all based on trust, honesty, and really knowing your spouse. When it's put out like 'deep, meaningful 'etc.... i dunno.... my wife is my best friend. so..all the 'deep, meanigful' stuff is with her....as it should be i think...
that said, I have great friendships with other women... one lady here at the office is a really good buddy...been friends with her for about a decade now.... but, we tend to do things like 'couple' friends....if we go out for lunch etc, we'll call my wife and kids or her husband and kids to join us, etc....
same goes with my wife...she's got guy friends she teaches with (she's a highschool teacher) but I'm included in the friendships....we often see them outside of school etc...have lunches out, or dinner etc....
everyone is different as well....what works for some ma
- see_thru0
Got burned on this very subject last year....was not good.
I have an illustrator friend who I was working towards collating with and it was looking like we were going to make a go of it as a business....I'd finally be doing what I really wanted to do.
She saw (long story) a off the cuff text from her about 'how she wished she could have been with me doing this years ago'....out of context....she went fucking ballistic and our relationship almost ended.
Needless to say there was nothing going on, the friendship was destroyed and my opportunity for happiness was fucked.
- *collabbingsee_thru
- *collaboratingmonospaced
- ?monospaced
- the first "She" in your third paragraph is your wife/gf/partner, right?dorf
- sounds like this was based on an underlying trust issue more than anything elsemonospaced
- *both...she saw (wife)....she wished (friend)see_thru
- Perhaps...though I think she saw it more as a threat to her status quo. My friend lives 1,100k away. Not like I'm going to 'working late' anytime...see_thru
- ?DRIFTMONKEY
- Pics?BK
- That sucks to lose friends over this. Especially that your girlfriend (?) didn't believe you even after you told the truth, in context.monospaced
- yuekit0
Platonic is a weird term (does it derive from Plato?).
How about just friendship? We've all had friends who are women right?
- it does derive from plato. https://en.wikipedia…sarahfailin
- monospaced1
My spouse is okay with my deep, meaningful platonic relationships that go back decades before we met. This is possible due to mutual trust and also involving her in those relationships. For example, I met up with my close female friend on a recent trip home, and my wife joined us. She knows we go back to early teen years and shared a lot of intimate experiences, but she also trusts that I wouldn't take it anywhere.
- I think that's the secret, ensuring one's spouse is a part of these relationships. It's when they're solo/exclusive that things can get tricky.MondoMorphic
- pr21
We are all hypocrites ultimately and the level of hypocrisy denial shows how much we want to believe that it is possible NOT to be physically attracted to the platonic friend. At some point the platonic friend temporarily will outweigh your marriage and then you are in big trouble. Has nothing to do with trust but with basic biology.
- it's fine to be attracted to your friend, you just have to not kiss them or have sex with them. doesn't seem that hard.sarahfailin
- it's not inevitable that the platonic friend will become serious though, there's only a chance of it happeningmonospaced
- "doesn't seem that hard" when you are in a meaningful platonic relationship? - don't think so.pr2
- I totally understand you, pr2, but not all people find it so hard they can't resist.monospaced
- mekk0
Don't build a bubble around you and your partner. You still have friends of both sex and need to maintain those friendships.
You and/or your wife might have a trust issue if you go nuts when your partner is alone with someone of the opposite sex for more than one hour.
- docpoz2
Better to be upfront with your platonic wife and ask for the threesome. That way you can all be plantoniced together.