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ASAP adv. "This acronym really irritates the shit out of me, so I believe it means this: As Slow As Possible. Otherwise, why not give me a fucking date?
I hate it too.
Some people use it to mean 'next week' others 'in an hour'.
Invariably, people who use it are a pain, because they've left everything horribly late themselves and are shunting blame down the chain.
- I tend to ask, wearily "Yeah, but what do you actually mean by that?" when people say it to me.detritus
Agreed. One of the most overused workplace acronyms, that is more annoying than substantial.
I always tell clients that to me ASAP means the job goes on the list beneath clients that have given me an actual date
- Ha! bet they love you!mugwart
- ^ they've been trained :)Gnash
- I say that too. No deadline means bottom of pile.monospaced
- ha and rightly so!mugwart
ETA is my pet hate, especially when they've asked for the impossible.
ASAP - means you'll get it done as soon as you are able - some form of flexibility.
ETA - means they want it done ASAP and will hold you to that time!
- ETA is just an abbreviation for estimated time of arrival, and must come with a specified time.monospaced
- Very true but in VFX world it means - "you need three weeks but actually you have three hours!"mugwart
- people around you use ETA like ASAP? that's weird, dudemonospaced
- it's the English way of trying to get the other person to fuck them selves over and remain guilt free!mugwart
People's understanding of ASAP differs wildly - when I get an email from someone asking for something quickly (ASAP), I make arrangements with our other work to fit it in because the people asking normally have their own deadlines to meet - I won't be a tardy fud and cause other people to stress out because I know exactly how that feels.
Then on the other hand, I get a request for something to be done ASAP! Motherfucker! and when I reply saying it can be done tomorrow AM or whatever they reply with '...oh no, I need to talk with our colleagues and get more information about Project X, don't do anything yet'. Like, don't make me shit my pants and freak out about getting things set up only for you to go '... aaah, I have no idea how these things work. I don't know lol!'
It's a classic power play made by inept people.
If you can't get your shit together properly don't expect others to miraculously fix it for you simply because you are a higher pay grade.
Or in other words. A crisis on your part doesn't necessarily mean one on mine.
Always point out or ask what caused the urgency. Then do your best to highlight the risks before knocking the work out the park.
Once done, make your points on how best to avoid the same thing happening again. If it does, call them out on it. ASAP.
- If it's your client. Increase your fees for rush work by at least 25%. It'll soon stop.monoboy
Account monkey: 'We need this done ASAP.'
Me: 'Sorry. I've got some fixed deadlines on campaigns that need to be done. I'll get to it when I have a chance.'
Account monkey: 'Uh ... no. No. I need this ASAP.'
Me: 'Right. When's the actual deadline?'
Account monkey: 'ASAP.'
Me: 'Mm-hm. Well, I've already told you I've got fixed deadlines for other assignments. I'll get to yours when I'm done. That's my ASAP.'
Account monkey: 'That's ... unacceptable. I need this ASAP.'
Me: 'Well, once you've finally figured out an actual, real deadline, go talk to the other account people for my other projects, to see if they can accommodate you. I'd suggest, for your benefit, you do this "ASAP". Now, I've got work to do.'
- An exchange I had with an account monkey a few years back. Got me reprimanded, but I didn't care; felt fucking great to say.Continuity
- i always reply to ASAP with LOLsted
- Reprimanded by who?Hayoth
- Reprimanded by my CD for not being diplomatic or accommodating to my colleagues.Continuity
- oh wow! you sound like a rebel and someone who stands up for his rights. So powerful. So meaningful... especially to come and brag about it on here.chukkaphob
- What the fuck is wrong with you?Continuity
- maybe he's an account monkey, I dunnomonospaced
- Must be.Continuity
- You must be joy to work with. Not to mention to party with! You prob talk only about yourself and how you put others in their place. Pfft.chukkaphob
- lol, not one post on QBN is chill. Shots fired daily.sofakingback
- For what its worth, I understand what this post means, been dealing with that sort of thing for 15 years... I would like to think theres a better solution tho.sofakingback
- its easier said than done though. Most the time people are stressed, and feel that their needs are not being met.sofakingback
- We don't get very far playing the blame game. It sets us back. It is frustrating to work with inconsiderate people but we sometimes make it worse.sofakingback
- This sort of bitchy post gets to me because I've witness the type in the workplace where one "team member" has the holier-than-thou attitude. Oh sooooo busy!chukkaphob
- Sooooo important!chukkaphob
- The fact someone needs something and is speaking directly to you is not their fault; your company has a problem w/ the (lack of) structure / project managementchukkaphob
- True, absolutely. But what Im saying is, you can have empathy for his perspective, right? Ive been there... I know better than to blow up. But I do...sofakingback
- Because I'm stressed, because that team member has no consideration for my time, because I just worked 13 hours, etc.sofakingback
- I feel you though, I do not like seeing members of my team lash out and shut down. but we need to be understanding to get away from these problems.sofakingback
- I may still feel upset, but i don't lash out like i used to when I was younger. its not worth it. it makes like worse and i still need to get the work done. ;.(sofakingback
- Yes, I understand it could be frustrating, but don't have the players, hate the game. Better yet, address the issue w upper management so processes are improvedchukkaphob
- *have = hatechukkaphob
- True, just have to find a way to approach it with tact so they don't think you're just complaining.sofakingback
- Le sigh.ETM
- You should be my duo at work, we would own the place.Maaku
People who cannot respect the ASAP deserves to not have anything done for them in the first place. If they needed something done at a specific time, they should have mentioned exactly when that would be, rather than blame the other person for providing what they couldn't provide from the beginning.
I like it. It leaves the determination of what is "possible" up to me.
PBR me ASAP
^ The only times it's OK to use ASAP
ASAP to me just means I can decide when I get it done. At my earliest convenience.
- It doesn't mean that though bro, it means - get it done now slave fucker!canoe
- Something about your comment makes me wonder if you were an only child?canoe
- Lol, I wasn't. I'm just an arrogant cunt who's fortunate enough to be in a position to merrily tell clients to fuck off if they take the piss.set
- I mean I can do it at my earliest inconvenience but you're paying double for rush work. Your choice.set