ASAP

  • Started 9 years ago
  • Last post 9 years ago
  • 16 Responses
  • lessfloor

    ASAP adv. "This acronym really irritates the shit out of me, so I believe it means this: As Slow As Possible. Otherwise, why not give me a fucking date?

  • detritus0

    I hate it too.

    Some people use it to mean 'next week' others 'in an hour'.

    Invariably, people who use it are a pain, because they've left everything horribly late themselves and are shunting blame down the chain.

    • I tend to ask, wearily "Yeah, but what do you actually mean by that?" when people say it to me.detritus
  • Al_dizzle0

    Agreed. One of the most overused workplace acronyms, that is more annoying than substantial.

  • Gnash0

    I always tell clients that to me ASAP means the job goes on the list beneath clients that have given me an actual date

  • mugwart0

    ETA is my pet hate, especially when they've asked for the impossible.

    ASAP - means you'll get it done as soon as you are able - some form of flexibility.

    ETA - means they want it done ASAP and will hold you to that time!

    • ETA is just an abbreviation for estimated time of arrival, and must come with a specified time.monospaced
    • Very true but in VFX world it means - "you need three weeks but actually you have three hours!"mugwart
    • people around you use ETA like ASAP? that's weird, dudemonospaced
    • it's the English way of trying to get the other person to fuck them selves over and remain guilt free!mugwart
  • face_melter1

    People's understanding of ASAP differs wildly - when I get an email from someone asking for something quickly (ASAP), I make arrangements with our other work to fit it in because the people asking normally have their own deadlines to meet - I won't be a tardy fud and cause other people to stress out because I know exactly how that feels.

    Then on the other hand, I get a request for something to be done ASAP! Motherfucker! and when I reply saying it can be done tomorrow AM or whatever they reply with '...oh no, I need to talk with our colleagues and get more information about Project X, don't do anything yet'. Like, don't make me shit my pants and freak out about getting things set up only for you to go '... aaah, I have no idea how these things work. I don't know lol!'

  • ApeRobot1

  • monoboy0

    It's a classic power play made by inept people.

    If you can't get your shit together properly don't expect others to miraculously fix it for you simply because you are a higher pay grade.

    Or in other words. A crisis on your part doesn't necessarily mean one on mine.

    Always point out or ask what caused the urgency. Then do your best to highlight the risks before knocking the work out the park.

    Once done, make your points on how best to avoid the same thing happening again. If it does, call them out on it. ASAP.

    • If it's your client. Increase your fees for rush work by at least 25%. It'll soon stop.monoboy
  • CyBrainX0

    All acronyms are evil. It's an illiterate attempt to sound cool when it just is a lack of communication. Use your fucking words

    • Superlatives... are dangerous.canoe
  • Continuity2

    Account monkey: 'We need this done ASAP.'

    Me: 'Sorry. I've got some fixed deadlines on campaigns that need to be done. I'll get to it when I have a chance.'

    Account monkey: 'Uh ... no. No. I need this ASAP.'

    Me: 'Right. When's the actual deadline?'

    Account monkey: 'ASAP.'

    Me: 'Mm-hm. Well, I've already told you I've got fixed deadlines for other assignments. I'll get to yours when I'm done. That's my ASAP.'

    Account monkey: 'That's ... unacceptable. I need this ASAP.'

    Me: 'Well, once you've finally figured out an actual, real deadline, go talk to the other account people for my other projects, to see if they can accommodate you. I'd suggest, for your benefit, you do this "ASAP". Now, I've got work to do.'

    • An exchange I had with an account monkey a few years back. Got me reprimanded, but I didn't care; felt fucking great to say.Continuity
    • amazingmonospaced
    • i always reply to ASAP with LOLsted
    • Reprimanded by who?Hayoth
    • https://ih1.redbubbl…chukkaphob
    • Reprimanded by my CD for not being diplomatic or accommodating to my colleagues.Continuity
    • oh wow! you sound like a rebel and someone who stands up for his rights. So powerful. So meaningful... especially to come and brag about it on here.chukkaphob
    • What the fuck is wrong with you?Continuity
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  • canoe1

    More annoying than, "Thanks in advance"?

    • ha! i'm not a fan of that either :)detritus
  • ********
    0

    People who cannot respect the ASAP deserves to not have anything done for them in the first place. If they needed something done at a specific time, they should have mentioned exactly when that would be, rather than blame the other person for providing what they couldn't provide from the beginning.

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    • "Can you make it exactly like this thing I saw on Pinterest?"utopian
  • cannonball19783

    I like it. It leaves the determination of what is "possible" up to me.

  • kona2

    PBR me ASAP

    ^ The only times it's OK to use ASAP

  • ********
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    ASAP to me just means I can decide when I get it done. At my earliest convenience.

    • It doesn't mean that though bro, it means - get it done now slave fucker!canoe
    • Something about your comment makes me wonder if you were an only child?canoe
    • Lol, I wasn't. I'm just an arrogant cunt who's fortunate enough to be in a position to merrily tell clients to fuck off if they take the piss.
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    • I mean I can do it at my earliest inconvenience but you're paying double for rush work. Your choice.
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