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Seems like it's pretty common. Finding out some of my coworkers have been bullied when they were a kid, and they have anxiety issues today.
One guy said he was constantly beaten up as the only white kid in his neighborhood and he seems like a weird guy.
I used to get pushed around a lot and picked on because I was always a lot taller than everyone in my year.
So I made friends with the older kids who were much tougher. I didn't really get bullied after that.
But ... who knows really what effects that any kind of bullying really has on your self esteem many years later in life.
Not personally. It almost certainly apparent that it creates major issues in later life, I agree.
I don't imagine many policeman had a fun time in school, for example.
I'm wondering if childhood bullying can lead to anxiety issues later in life, and how to overcome them.
@pinkfloyd .. In my attempt at amateur psychology, I would say that any form of bullying in younger years would form an opinion in your head of who you are.
For example, you aren't good enough, handsome enough, tough enough, skilled enough etc etc
Those messages dig in deep and seem to form your self perception throughout your life.
So the only way I can see of overcoming them is to have a higher level of self perception and be able to kind of reprogramme yourself with a new set of messages and thoughts from people that really care about your well being.
they tried to bully me here calling me donkey boy. now i like it
... something like that ...
I got shoved once because the class bully thought I was going to tell on him for something I didn't even know about, or some stupid grade 5 crap like that.
There was a time in 2001 when I avoided a fight because I thought there was real danger of death at the time. He said some things that were really offensive, and I guess maybe I never forgave myself for that. I usually try to avoid fights.
I was also picked on in childhood, but on the otherside I bullied people as well.
Maybe I'm alone on this, but I don't think everything that happens to you as a kid determines your future personality so much. I mean obviously, there are some extreme cases out there were kids were driven to depression or even suicide over bullying. But I think people can get overly psychoanalytic about this stuff.
- Everything that has ever happened to you determines your current personality..... Literally everything, especially something extremeset
- ...something extreme and emotional like bullying. Have we ever agreed on anything ukit? :)set
- Literally everything? I don't even remember half the stuff that happened in grade school, so why would it affect me?ukit2
- Everything that's ever happened to us has shaped who we are today, regardless of whether you remember it or notset
- I don't understand how anyone could disagree with that...set
- Are you exactly the same person as you were last year? Yesterday, even? No, is the answer.set
- I agree with set on thispinkfloyd
- I just think people can get carried away over interpreting this stuff. It's definitely good for the psychoanalyst paycheck though :)ukit2
- though :)ukit2
- good point as wellpinkfloyd
- we are products of every second we have experienced, that idea is not really getting carried away in my opinion.set
- I agree.monospaced
- set I guess the question would be how much every single experience affects you...my guess would be the human mind minimizes and discards stuff that is not importantukit2
- mind minimizes and discards stuff that is not importantukit2
- Having said that, I'm not an expert on this...but I'm guessing neither are you :)ukit2
- I'm an expert on everything, you should know this by now.
yeah. i got over it.
I have a few friends that are city cops, and they were definitely bullied as kids. Just saying'.
used to get bullied a bit when i was a kid....
country school, lots of very tough kids, and..well..it was the 70's / early 80's...
one kid in particular was the main source...and he bullied 'everyone'..absolute little psychopath...
pretty much everyone was afraid of the kid...
i think he made it his mission in life to absolutely terrify everyone...so it wasn't just me...
he got his kicks out of randomly scaring other children by whispering to them in class 'today's the day i kick the shit out of you'...
and then leave you wondering when and where he'd do it....
and usually he wouldn't....he'd just let the fear eat at you all day...
but every once in a while, he'd fight some kid, and pretty much destroy him...just to keep the fear in the rest of us alive i suppose....
by about grade 5 or so, this was a thing you just learned to live with...
then one day, as i was walking up through the school yard, i realized i was late coming in from recess...and i looked around, and i was alone..no friends, nobody....and suddenly ...there he was...walking right beside me....
'today's the day' he said...
and something in me snapped.
i figured, ..well...i guess that's it....i'm fucking dead....
but i'm not going out without making it cost him...
so i grabbed him by his jacket and pushed him against the wall and was about to fight for my fucking life...
when suddenly a teacher stepped out from around the corner and told us to hurry up..we were late...
teacher had no idea what was just about to happen....
i let go of his jacket and walked into school.
he NEVER bothered me again.
myself and all my friends had lived in fear of this guy for fucking years...and it was all over after that one small interaction.
by about grade 6/7 he'd discovered weed and hash, and quickly became a burnout metalhead looking kind of guy...(well, we were all basically metal heads, but he was definitely high most of the time)
by highschool i only ever saw him occasionally....and it was always fairly ok by then....whatever demons had haunted his childhood had largely been quieted by all the pot.....
towards the end of highschool, he approached me and asked what i was doing after...he'd heard that myself and a few friends had been accepted into design school in toronto..and he asked if it was possible if he could move up with us...
i kind of fobbed off a quick 'uh...not sure...i'll ask the guys'...
and never spoke to him again...
when i look back now, i definitely remember the fear, the anxiousness and all the other feelings....he really was a horrible kid to be in school with...
but mostly now, i just have a ton of sympathy.....i feel kind of bad for that lost little kid that thought the only way to get respect on the school yard was to beat us up...
saw him last year at a mutual friends funeral...
it'd been over 25 years...and seeing him again still filled me with dread.
at lunch after the funeral, a few of us got together to reminisce....and wouldn't you know....the conversation was almost completely about that guy...and how he'd bullied all of us...
it really is amazing how one fucking guy like that can shape your childhood...
and THAT would be the main reason BOTH my kids take martial arts...
Only few times. but i didn't have self-esteem issue and actually enjoys the excitement of retaliation. it's like an invitation to fight em.
none of them attempted second time.
and since most the bullies were taller than me, it doesn't make me look bad fighting em. None of em can hit harder than my parents anyway (asian thing...)
I wouldn't call it bullied, but it's funny how even situations where you feel bullied professionally as an adult can linger with you. I worked somewhere where things were so over-analyzed, and I was constantly being asked to over-validate, over-prove, over-explain my reasons for doing things. Nothing ever felt good enough to just run with because all the over-thinking made me doubtful about everything, apprehensive about whether it was a good idea or not.
So, not physically bullied in any way, but since I'm not at that company anymore, it sucks that all of that got bottled into a sort of attack on my confidence, and it totally lingers with me no matter how confident I feel at my current job.
btw, can someone explain the reasoning for being a cop later on?
maybe the kids that are already shy and have social anxiety tend to get bullied more? correlation != causation and all that.
When I was between 8-12 yrs. old, I was really small and skinny. I had my fair share of ass beatings. When I was between 13-17 yrs. old, I grew tall and worked out. I then proceeded to beat the shit out all the bullies that fucked with me. I then went after all bullies you fucked with the weak, shy and or awkward kids in my school and neighborhood and protected them from being bullied.
Making fun of autistic kids isn't bullying.
- •______• is there another message hidden underneath what you just said?pango
- allllllright then.....
glad we cleared that out.pango
- I'm not autistic.monospaced
- :) now you say that.pango
- Could have fooled us my friendset
- Just kiddingset
- kidding = bullying?monospaced
- I guess there's a fine line between teasing and bullying. You're a grown man though so, ya know.set
- alright alright break it up guys. i have a feeling one of you's gonna blow it up very soon.pango
- nothing to break up, we're discussing the fine line between teasing and bullying. I'm not autistic so I dont' caremonospaced
- Pango is the kid at school that shouts 'fight fight' when two intelligent kids are having a debateset
- I was teasing though. I'm a fan of mono's, believe it or not.set
- hahaha, feels like itmonospaced
sure. whatever....... •_____•pango
- i'm not a fan of mono so ya' know.ohhhhhsnap