Laughable job ads
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- eficks
Post any you come across here.
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We’re looking for an Art Director who is intelligent, competent, talented and driven with at least 2 years experience in this role. We’re not just saying that because it’s the kind of thing you say in a job ad, we actually really mean it. So if this does genuinely sound like you, then please do apply. We have a very friendly, dedicated and enjoyable culture to work within – you’ll look forward to coming to work in the morning.
Some of the other stuff that would be beneficial to your chances of landing this job are:
-An eagerness to tackle concepting opportunities
-Extensive knowledge of Adobe Creative Suite, primarily Indesign, Photoshop and Illustrator
-A proven ability to not be arrogant, precious, thoughtless or generally a tool
-Being cool with doing finished art stuff as well as creamy design work
-Ability to work under pressur
-Eye for detail and design
-Good taste in music preferred
-Digital proficiency would be a bonusSend your folio with your best 10 pieces of work (no more, no less) to by Wednesday 29th April, or click apply now.
- ian0
Seems reasonable.
Quite good this:
-Ability to work under pressur
-Eye for detail and design
- identity0
'creamy design work'
- 74LEO0
"Ass Milk Design Work"
- twokids0
I am so bummed!
I am so much of what they want, including being digitally proficient!
Sadly, I am also a tool, so cannot apply,
Good luck to anyone who gets it, and enjoy the creamy design work.
- MSTRPLN0
Power Point Designer
The world is demanding more effective presentations, and presenters and their teams now have the tools and training materials available to create their own slides. But this is not enough. A presenter incorporates their thoughts and material into the presentation, and needs creative interpretations that really brings their message to life and deliver high end presentations.
We are looking for a designer who is capable of dispelling the death by PowerPoint norm. You must understand how to get the audience's attention with creative graphics and the ability to take mounds of content and turn it into an exceptional piece of work that the audience will love.
Deliverables are PowerPoint presentations for screen and print, but some projects include Flash, InDesign, logo, web and misc. print design. Thorough knowledge of MS PowerPoint, Adobe Photoshop, Adobe Presenter and Illustrator is essential. Applicant must have a strong portfolio and be fluent in high end PowerPoint presentation design, animation, charts and other technical aspects of the program.
You Must:
Have an open minded approach to PowerPoint and a willingness to experiment. Surprise yourself and others at how effectively the program can be utilized.
Demonstrate creative problem solving skills when working around the limitations of PowerPoint, so bring on an 'anything is possible' attitude.
Have traditional design skills that can be adapted to work best in of PowerPoint.
Have an eye for detail to avoid small imperfections or mistakes that may be unnoticeable on a monitor, but are glaringly obvious when magnified by a projector.
Qualifications
5+ years of professional graphic design/PowerPoint presentation experience
PowerPoint, Photoshop, Illustrator and Adobe Presenter skills
"Client-ready", professional demeanor with high degree of comfort speaking with clients
- this one actually does not seem so bad.twokids
- shit i thought it was worse than the one i posted.eficks
- I've actually done some crazy stuff in powerpoint that needed every inch of my design skill. Decent money tooProjectile
- I'd rather have all my teeth broken out with pliers than work in Powerpoint.boobs
- what's the actual link? please?timeless
- Satan is hiring for after the rapture. I warned you!monospaced
- Al_dizzle0
we are a small agency who are looking to hire some hipster chicks. Preferably you'll have 1-5 years design experience and your very own fixed gear bike.Vegans are a plus
Location: toronto
Compensation: tbd
This is a part-time job.
This is a contract job.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
- loool0
I saw an ad with a part:
must know hug amount of Chuck Norris jokes
:D
- eficks0
http://m.seek.com.au/job/1961143…
Hightlights include the salary being determined by the cultural fit in their team, the actual salary range and the overuse of the world flair. Actually any use of the word flair gets and automatic deletion from me.
- ian0
"visual sex cookery'
Hahaha
- eficks0
meffid, that has to be the best job ad i've ever seen.