Irritation of the day 2011
- Started
- Last post
- 21 Responses
- ********
January 01st. 00:22GMT.
Just watching Jools Holland's Hootenanny and Kylie Minogue is on. Is there anyone more fucking irritating than Kylie fucking Minogue?
She's got a god-awful voice, like a plastic trumpet full of jelly, she's an unabashed fame-whore, she's got a fucked up plastic face and seems to think that wiggling a pert arse with all the studied determination of a confidence trickster and all the passion and sexuality of a glass of old milk is enough to dupe entire nations into thinking she's worth the adulation.
Sadly, she's right. I seem to be the only person on this planet that finds her screamingly unappealing and annoying as shit.
- ********0
Jools Holland is a QUEER GAY LIBERAL CUNT
- ********0
January 02 / 15:33GMT
Dog shit.
Growing up in the 1980's in England, a land populated by dog lovers, the streets were generally covered in dog shit. At least, if you grew up in a big city like I did they were. It was pretty much guaranteed you would return home from a trip outside with rich, highly adhesive and extremely foul smelling dog shit glued to your shoes, and what's more it would be swiped up the inside leg of your trousers too. As easy as it got on there, it was almost impossible to remove and attempts to dislodge it from footwear tread would regularly result in lumps of it being pinged upwards into your eyes, mouth or hair.Sometime in the late 90's a law was passed that made it illegal for dog's to shit in public. This meant that the owners were liable to pick it up and dispose of it. This law worked almost overnight to rid the streets of dog shit, and for the last ten years or so its been almost impossible to step in dog shit. I don't think I stepped in a single piece since the late 90's until 18months ago.
For some reason, over the last two years, people have started slacking off on the obligation to pick their dog shit up. Lots of people still do... but increasingly lots of people clearly have decided its not a law they need to observe.
As each month passes by, I find myself treading in more and more dog shit again, and getting home only to have to throw my footwear up the back garden, throw my jeans into the wash, change into some tracky bottoms and go and try in vain to remove the glue-like shit from my shoes.
I've just been out with my daughter. We've just got home and both of us have dog shit on our shoes and our trousers. Thsi is the third time in December.
I'm going to start beating slack dog-owners with a kosh and forcing their dog's cold shit down their throats as they lie there begging me to stop.
- Don't forget - Winter preserves poos for longer, and peeps don't sweep when it snows.detritus
- Look where you're stepping, damn. You and your daughter.monospaced
- anyway, that really sucks...I'm glad NYC is mostly dogshit freemonospaced
- Shaney0
GF put Hollands thing on this morning and I said much the same as your opening post to her, I probably wasn't as polite as you.
- ********0
I'm lucky to live in a no anglo-saxon country so i dont have to repeatedly see this vulgar cunt on TV shows.
- ********0
Bloody hell you people are happy today. Jools Holland' has been great over the years, and has had some amazing bands on the show but I do hear what you're saying, there seem a real lack of interest from up and coming artist which is a shame because the show carries allot of bloody good music history over the years. As for Kylie fucking Minogue, I agree.
- rascuache0
Yeah you can't really knock him that much. Saw Jools Holland in concert for my ma's birthday a couple of years ago and it was a top night, danced my ass off.
Though I agree last night's thing was a little poor, especially seeing the otherwise amazing Toots Hibbert dragging Holland & Co through his first song like a dead leg.
- Shaney0
@ pillhead don't think anyone was knocking old Jools
show was poor last night tho, enjoyed Toots & Plan B though.
- kingsteven0
Hootenanny is about as well routed in the BBC NYE schedule as the Queens speech is to Christmas day. I'd miss it, and I suspect he'll have that slot for life... However, watching Jools irritatingly plink-plonk through three tunes with his cronies on 'Later' to hear ONE fucking song by a new band never fails to fill me with anger. Please somebody cut off his fingers...
- I like the cut of his drummer though, and his recording studio.kingsteven
- agree esp about the plink plonk tunesShaney
- ********0
I hadn't seen Plan B before last night but I have to say I didn't like his stuff. Maybe its because I'm an old fart these days, but he just struck me as being a graduate of some school of performing arts who's managed to tuck his middle class roots neatly behind a half decent impersonation of sarf landon 'tude. I rather got the impression he'd been forced to perfect all those vocal styles simply because he's got no credible mates.
I could be wrong of course.
- but, but, he used to be a hoodie and now he's pure shite in a suit.kingsteven
- i just get the feeling he's a middle weight talent who had to rap to fit in with the unculture of the suburbs.kingsteven
- which makes him endearing in some sort of rags-to-riches way... it's like Oasis or sthg. Pleb music.kingsteven
- could not disagree with you moreShaney
- coldplay will be on for you next year so not all abdShaney
- 3 GCSE's somewhat of a drop out. He started in the uk rap scene. Then just went to shit.aanderton
- ********0
- Horp0
Decent beef burgers served on a bagel or a ciabatta instead of a decent burger bun. Its the culinary equivalent of putting a Ferrari body kit on a Toyota MR2.
- Horp0
Also, Gordon Ramsey's face.... pre or post op, i don't mind, it irritates me in both forms.
- Amicus0
this thread is irritating. bloody bunch of whining ninnies should go home to your mummies and get your eyes wiped.
:)
- MrAbominable0
Fuck i hate 2011. At least i was sort of comfortable and used to getting the shit kicked out of me by 2010.
- scarabin0
yep, i've got an ecstasy hangover, too.
- akrok0
the new freaking spammers on QBN. only 2 days and hell, they are out of control.
- Shaney0
feel the love hans xxxx
