Irritation of the day 2011
Out of context: Reply #3
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January 02 / 15:33GMT
Dog shit.
Growing up in the 1980's in England, a land populated by dog lovers, the streets were generally covered in dog shit. At least, if you grew up in a big city like I did they were. It was pretty much guaranteed you would return home from a trip outside with rich, highly adhesive and extremely foul smelling dog shit glued to your shoes, and what's more it would be swiped up the inside leg of your trousers too. As easy as it got on there, it was almost impossible to remove and attempts to dislodge it from footwear tread would regularly result in lumps of it being pinged upwards into your eyes, mouth or hair.Sometime in the late 90's a law was passed that made it illegal for dog's to shit in public. This meant that the owners were liable to pick it up and dispose of it. This law worked almost overnight to rid the streets of dog shit, and for the last ten years or so its been almost impossible to step in dog shit. I don't think I stepped in a single piece since the late 90's until 18months ago.
For some reason, over the last two years, people have started slacking off on the obligation to pick their dog shit up. Lots of people still do... but increasingly lots of people clearly have decided its not a law they need to observe.
As each month passes by, I find myself treading in more and more dog shit again, and getting home only to have to throw my footwear up the back garden, throw my jeans into the wash, change into some tracky bottoms and go and try in vain to remove the glue-like shit from my shoes.
I've just been out with my daughter. We've just got home and both of us have dog shit on our shoes and our trousers. Thsi is the third time in December.
I'm going to start beating slack dog-owners with a kosh and forcing their dog's cold shit down their throats as they lie there begging me to stop.
- Don't forget - Winter preserves poos for longer, and peeps don't sweep when it snows.detritus
- Look where you're stepping, damn. You and your daughter.monospaced
- anyway, that really sucks...I'm glad NYC is mostly dogshit freemonospaced