Jokes in poor taste...
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- goldieboy0
A woman was standing in a crowded lift of the hotel she was staying in. When a man got in and accidentally elbowed her in the breast. The man said, "I'm sorry! But if your heart is as soft as your tit, you'll forgive me." so the woman replies, "If you dick is as hard as your elbow then I am staying in room 113."
- drake-von-drake-13
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up.
- elahon0
A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fuck out of here."
- panacea0
A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."
- georgesIII0
A german tourist is getting raped by 10 hooligans,
She screams Neiinnn Neiiinnn,
one leaves.
- panacea0
So there are two guys in their late seventies who are headed out to their deer hunting blinds in the woods. To get to their blinds, they cross a paved road, and walk into the timber about a quarter of a mile. They cross the road, and get on the trail. After a moment or two of walking, one guy turns to the other, and points to the road, saying, "Wow, would you look at that?" The second guy turns to see a very large funeral procession make it's way down the road that they had just crossed. The hearse creeps by slowly and solemly followed by a long line of flagged cars, and the second man slowly removes his hunting cap, he bows his head, and points his rifle toward the ground.
Seeing what his friend has done after noticing the funeral procession, the guy says, "Wow, that sure is respectful, you know. You stand there, and take off your cap, and spend a moment of your hunting time to honor the dead. Wow, that's really something for you to do. I'm impressed." And his friend looks up and says,
"It's the least I can do. I was married to her for 42 years!"
- goldieboy0
The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!"
Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS."
"Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient.
"You've also got Alzheimer's Disease."
Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."
- hilchev0
Steve Wonder went in to a china shop and started smashing everything with his cane. The shop manager asked him WTF do you want to buy something?
SW: No, I am just browsing.
- hoppa740
What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing... They were both stuck up bitches.
- hilchev0
A man and a woman in the hospital. The woman just gave birth and the doctor grabbed the baby's leg and started smashing it on the wall. The husband asked: WTF? The doctor: just joking, the baby was stillborn.
- Hemogoblin0
Two sperms are having a race. One sperm says, "Fuck me all this swimming is knackering me, how long till we reach the womb?" The second sperm says, "Fucking long way to go yet mate - we've only just gone past her tonsils!"
- drake-von-drake-5
What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
- GeorgesII0
- Nope! Hhaha!elahon
- wowmonospaced
- Ha! That's messed up... but funny =)turnerworks
- i laughed sorry...k_temp
- JOSF0
With your donation of just £2 a month. You can help buy mosquito nets that will stop over 1 million mosquitos from contracting HIV in africa this year.
- Projectile0
I wonder if Jade Goody will be babysitting for Lily Allen this xmas?