Wedding Vows
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- BK
I'm getting married next month and am too lazy to write my wedding vows. Please do it for me. Thank you.
- 4040
PIITB or GTFO
- ********0
really? REALLY?
QBN for wedding vows?
damn.
- ********0
pic of new wifey or it didnt/wont happen
- vitamins0
Too lazy to write your own wedding vows??
- capn_ron0
starting off terrible if you're too lazy to write some true feeling for your wife. Seriously, just go to a coffee shop and think of all the good things you like about her and what she does for you. Don't be lazy about this.
- vitamins0
Speak from your heart =)
- e-pill0
please post me a pic of your woman in a sexy lingerie with thigh high fish nets, i need to visualize the setting as i write my vows to her..
- iheartfun0
I (John), take you (Mary), to be my lawfully wedded wife.
To be together in happiness and strife,
To have and to hold,
Even if your cooking grows mold.
I love you in richness and in debt,
And cherish all moments since we have met.
I promise to love you until the end of my days,
As long as you stay out of my baseball plays.
I pledge to be faithful
Even when we’re old and dull.
- Douglas0
Is she totally 100% against just using the traditional vows?
http://weddings.about.com/od/wed…
- capn_ron0
How about you write something and then present it as a crit here for us to demolish!
- ********0
Love me, f*ck me, never ever leave me.
Done.
- bulletfactory0
wow, she's a lucky girl.
- MSTRPLN0
Recite your favorite rap lyrics to each other.
- quack0
When I was just a little baby boy,
my momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man,
she used to tell me he hated me
But then I got a little bit older
and I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it
cause that's just the way she wasThey said I can't rap about being broke no more
They ain't say I can't rap about coke no more
(AH!) Slut, you think I won't choke no whore
'til the vocal cords don't work in her throat no more?!
(AH!) These motherfuckers are thinking I'm playing
Thinking I'm saying the shit cause I'm thinking it just to be saying it
(AH!) Put your hands down bitch, I ain't gonna shoot you
I'ma pull +YOU+ to this bullet, and put it through you
(AH!) Shut up slut, you're causing too much chaos
Just bend over and take it like a slut, OK Ma?
"Oh, now he's raping his own mother, abusing a whore,
snorting coke, and we gave him the Rolling Stone cover?"
You god damn right BITCH, and now it's too late
I'm triple platinum and tragedies happen in two states
I invented violence, you vile venomous volatile bitches
vain Vicadin, vrinnn Vrinnn, VRINNN! [*chainsaw revs up*]
Texas Chainsaw, left his brains all
dangling from his neck, while his head barely hangs on
Blood, guts, guns, cuts
Knives, lives, wives, nuns, slutsBitch I'ma kill you! You don't wanna fuck with me
Girls neither - you ain't nothing but a slut to me
Bitch I'ma kill you! You ain't got the balls to beef
We ain't gonna never stop beefing I don't squash the beef
You better kill me! I'ma be another rapper dead
for popping off at the mouth with shit I shouldn't said
But when they kill me - I'm bringing the world with me
Bitches too! You ain't nothing but a girl to me
.. I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (cause why?)
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you (ah-ha ha)
I said you don't, wanna fuck with Shady (why?)
Cause Shady, will fucking kill you..Bitch I'ma kill you! Like a murder weapon, I'ma conceal you
in a closet with mildew, sheets, pillows and film you
Buck with me, I been through hell, shut the hell up!
I'm trying to develop these pictures of the Devil to sell 'em
I ain't "acid rap," but I rap on acid
Got a new blow-up doll and just had a strap-on added
WHOOPS! Is that a subliminal hint? NO!
Just criminal intent to sodomize women again
Eminem offend? NO! Eminem insult
And if you ever give in to him, you give him an impulse
to do it again, THEN, if he does it again
you'll probably end up jumping out of something up on the 10th
(Ah!) Bitch I'ma kill you, I ain't done this ain't the chorus
I ain't even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest
A bloodstain is orange after you wash it three or four times
in a tub but that's normal ain't it Norman?
Serial killer hiding murder material
in a cereal box on top of your stereo
Here we go again, we're out of our medicine
out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us inEh-heh, know why I say these things?
Cause lady's screams keep creeping in Shady's dreams
And the way things seem, I shouldn't have to pay these shrinks
this eighty G's a week to say the same things TWEECE!
TWICE? Whatever, I hate these things
Fuck shots! I hope the weed'll outweigh these drinks
Motherfuckers want me to come on their radio shows
just to argue with 'em cause their ratings stink?
FUCK THAT! I'll choke radio announcer to bouncer
from fat bitch to off seventy-thousand pounds of her
from principal to the student body and counselor
from in-school to before school to out of school
I don't even believe in breathing I'm leaving air in your lungs
just to hear you keep screaming for me to seep it
OK, I'M READY TO GO PLAY
I GOT THE MACHETE FROM O.J.
I'M READY TO MAKE EVERYONE'S THROAT ACHE
You faggots keep egging me on
'til I have you at knifepoint, then you beg me to stop?
SHUT UP! Give me your hands and feet
I said SHUT UP when I'm talking to you
YOU HEAR ME? ANSWER ME![first line starts "Or I'ma kill you!", ninth line starts "Bitch I'ma kill you!"]
Ha ha, I'm just playing ladies
You know I love you- if you can still look each other in the face and still want to get married, you're goldenquack
- boobs0
The first one is just practice anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Just say any old thing.
- i_monk0
"I promise to be married to you until I tire of it."
- ********0
"i love you. what do you want more"
- vitamins0
What kind of ring did you get her?
- Projectile0
My bros told me marriage is for pussies.
So I said "hell yeah" and married for pussy.
...and here I am. Sex on tap forever more, baby yeah! No more wining and dining, just good old knockin' up!
- ********0
Minister to Bride: Do you take this man to be your husband?
Bride: I do.Minister to Groom: Do you take this woman to be your wife?
Bride: He does.