WWII
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- GeorgesII
World War II
Germany invades Czechoslovakia.
Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.
Germany invades Poland.
(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)
Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.
Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)
Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.
Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)
UK holds out.
Russia & the USA don't do shit.
Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the fucking resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)
Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny any more.
Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor.
Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny any more.
The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.
Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.
Allies invade on D-Day... 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.
The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets 'o sunshine on Japan.
Russians steal half of Europe.
UK's spent almost every penny it had.
US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/d…
- 7point340
automatic disqualification for using urban dictionary to "research" WWII.
D-
see me after class.
- Horp0
Nice though, interesting read. Lots of ways to cut a cake I guess.
- CALLES0
i wonder if ipods make it a little easier for soldiers
- scarabin0
Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch?
i read that he dropped some pills in a bunker- they burned his body. his orders apparently.zenmasterfoo
- ah.scarabin
- Ahh... I had the same question.ETM
- Horp0
Hitler didn't take cyanide like the rest of his bunker possé. He felt strongly that his body should not be used as a symbol of defeat, so while all the others were chewing poison he was outside on his knees with his wife beside him, getting shot in the back of the head. Their bodies were then tipped into a ditch and set alight.
That's how I remember it anyway.
- 7point340
^ On 30 April 1945, after intense street-to-street combat, when Soviet troops were within a block or two of the Reich Chancellery, Hitler committed suicide, shooting himself in the temple while simultaneously biting into a cyanide capsule. Hitler's body and that of Eva Braun (his mistress whom he had married the day before) were put in a bomb crater, doused in gasoline by SS Sturmbannführer Otto Günsche and other Führerbunker aides. The bodies were set alight as the Red Army advanced and shelling continued.
from wiki
- who were the last ss units fighting in berlin? 8th SS Volunteer Sturmbrigade France and Waffen-SS 'Unit Ezquerra', spain.********
- who were the last ss units fighting in berlin? 8th SS Volunteer Sturmbrigade France and Waffen-SS 'Unit Ezquerra', spain.
- ********0
As it followed from the secret protocols from the Halifax-Raczynski pact (1939), Poland from the very beginning planned to conquer a piece of Lithuania and Romania. Poland was looking for an international crisis to address long-standing border disputes with those countries, but of course noone at that point understood how the war could turn out to be, so they cannot be directly blamed for it.
However this doesn't justify the fact that Poland betrayed their allies, and maybe they could have prevented the war:
1. Poland refused to join the Eastern Pact project proposed by french foreign minister L. Barthou in 1934
2. Immediately after Austria was incorporated in Nazi Germany, Poland made demands to take over a portion of Zaolzie in Czechoslovakia and Vilnius in Lithuania.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/193…3. Refused to join a defensive alliance with Czechoslovakia, again proposed by France in 1938, and refused to help France in case of war with Germany. As we know, that same year Poland out of nothing attacked Czechoslovakia and took over the Tesin district
4. Refused to join a defensive alliance with Romania, as proposed by England and France in 1939. When Germany attacked Poland that year, the first thing Polish army did -- "evacuated" to Romania, of course
5. Refused the Soviet troops to pass through its territory, despite English and French insistence, and thus prevented the conclution of the defensive alliance USSR-France-UK
And this is how WWII started
- Interesting stuff Drgss.Horp
- agreedMau
- I knew we could blame those fuckers!boobs
- You forgot how Hitler demanded corridor to Danzig & Churchill gave Poland guarantees and did shit when it started.raf
- http://en.wikipedia.…)********
- robotron3k0
I guess the American Eugenics movements should be at the very top of the list. Superiority over non-whites wasn't Hitler's idea it was an American one from California spawned by Charles Darwin, "survival of the fittest" ideas. It pretty much went by the wayside in the USA once Hitler lost, except for the KKK and neo-nazi groups. So I guess when the US made WWII "it's all about us", we probably had something to do with it in the long run...
- Darwin wasn't from California, kiddo.boobs
- complete stupidity********
- dude! SRSLY the fuck....
not cool man - do some research!rupedixon - http://www.cbsnews.c…robotron3k
- you guys must be 10 years old, you know so little.robotron3k
- and I didnt say Darwin was from CA either...robotron3k
- Greedo0
If i were poland, i wouldn't allow Soviet troops on my soil either; between prussia and russia, poland had no friends. Joining defensive alliances to provoke the land-hungry powers on either side of you wouldn't do you any favors. France and England can make all sorts of brilliant suggestions, but their armies are nice and far away, separated by a whole bunch of entrenched germans.
- OBBTKN0
You´ve forgotten nazis exterminated lots of anarchist, internationalist, libertarian people, all part of other kind and ethnic groups of resistance movements.
For example lots of basque people died defending the freedom in France and Europe, after years fighting against fascists on Spain.
Ah! and i want to remember to the Brits the shit done helping us against Franco at civil war...
- TheDrago0
You forgot to mention Italy's part
- benfal990
lol, cool reading tho.
- Mimio0
Exactly, what about Musonlini? The creation and spread of national of fascism had more to do with him and his party than anything else.
- boobs0
Some parts skipped over.
- GeorgesII0
I remember seeing a documentary about hitler's death and the woman that did the autopsy was pressured by the russian to say that she has analised the burned body and found out it was hitler and Eva (eve??)
but (un)officialy the debate is still open
* insert twilight zone soundtrack- Analised a dead person eh? She's one fucked up doctor.Horp
- raf0
"Hitler demanded several items that he knew would worsen relations with Poland, which included the admittance of Danzig into the German Reich, the building a German highway or a German railway through the Polish Corridor, and the Polish participation in the Anti-Comintern Pact.
Hitler knew he must constantly keep demands a bit above Polish tolerance, but yet reasonable enough to stretch out the negotiations, so that he could keep the issue open while Germany prepared for war."
http://ww2db.com/battle_spec.php…He demanded an exterritorial German highway through Poland... Not something you normally allow your neighbour.
- like the one that ran through the former east germany to berlin...Greedo
- The Berlin highway was West Ger. funded (hence higher quality than commie ones) but not exterritorial.raf
- But I might be wrong.. that's what I remember from going through that highway in 1988raf
- Just looked it up, it wasn't exterritorial, you're right, but you had to complete travel asap, no stopping.Greedo
- danzig is the shitifeltdave
- raf0
French and British are still known not to be trusted where I come from..
"March 31, 1939 Anglo-French Guarantee of Aid to Poland
The British government recognized that continued German expansion in Europe would irreversibly undermine the status quo. As a result, the Chamberlain government pledged Anglo-French support if the Germans threatened Polish independence. This treaty officially marked the end of the Chamberlain government's appeasement policy, as it became clear, after the German annexations of Bohemia, Moravia, and Memel and threats against Poland, that the Germans were determined to expand territorially in Eastern Europe. In place of appeasement, the Chamberlain government undertook a series of negotiations and mutual assistance treaties designed to form an anti-fascist front or "peace front." The British concluded agreements with Poland, Greece, Romania, and Turkey and conducted talks with the Soviet Union."
http://www.indiana.edu/~league/1…
- GeorgesII0
I love this map,
DAMMM YOU SWITZERLAND!!! eheheh
- i heard there is old bank accounts still in switzerland from the nazi's that no one can touchTheDrago
- please, they hoarded the gold of both sides...Greedo
- yeah true, but since Germany lost the war, there is money that no one can claimTheDrago
- not true, all banks were forced to list inactive accounts from ww2 in the last couple of decadesGreedo
- but what about the money from the inactive accounts that were listed? What happens to them?TheDrago
- honest question cause i dont know the anwswerTheDrago
