texts from last night
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- 58 Responses
- version30
(914): saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
- version30
(206): Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
- version30
(212): so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
- grunttt0
(looks like something i would type)
(512): You surviving the open bar?
(1-512): Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Labels: (512)
- version30
(973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i could go for hearing that at least twice a day
- version30
hahhahah
(773): You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
- CALLES0
(202): first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
(408): we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Labels: (202), (408)
- version30
(303): You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
(303): She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
- version30
(650): oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
- version30
this has to be the most common text after midnight, i still get this shit and i've been in a relationship over a year
(510): So drunk, too bad you don't want this
- version30
this is btw some of the funniest reading i've come across in a long while
- CALLES0
(248): is swine flu sexually transmttd?
(313): Ha no, why?
(248): sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Labels: (248), (313)
- ********0
(832): I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
(303): I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
- version30
(601): How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
(318): Alcohol?
(601): Sex with a fat chick.so wrong :D
- CALLES0
(703): i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Labels: (703)
- CALLES0
(919): Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Labels: (919)
Replies (0)
- CALLES0
(715): I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Labels: (715)
- CALLES0
(240): she was so not down for the gang bang
Labels: (240)
Replies (0)