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- Khurram0
Not sure what is going on here (though i can speculate) but i've been in a caring sharing mood today. Or atleast exhibited the behaviour.
First Justine from marketing hadn't any lunch and was looking stressed out so i gave her my tuna salad. Justine is lovely so i gave it to her cos she's lovely so that much i can understand.
Second, Hugh from sales gave me his last cookie which i broke in half and shared with Curtis from sales, even though Curtis from sales had alreayd had two.
Now, if anyone knows me, they know that food is one of those "things" for me. i'm like a pig, i gobble shit up and DO NOT SHARE.
The fact that i did this is particularly surprising as i'm still very hungry and yet shared regardless.
Ordinarily i wouldn't have paid attention to this, but the last week orso, i've been thinking that maybe i was a sociopath. Yet here is my generosity of spirit.
I guess i'm feeling in an overall good mood today. Even though the erratic bouts of aggression are still permeating under the surface...
- Khurram0
Speaking of erratic bouts of aggression... and sincerely, no word of exaggeration in anything I'm about to relate here:
Came home yesterday found a card from the postman "Sorry you were out, we delivered your package to number 34". I knocked on 34, the Chinese family, and some woman opens the door. I explain calmly "my package, has been delivered here bla bla bla"
She looks at me, begins to close the door, muttering "no, no, no English, no English"
"What? No, wait, my letter, package, mail, postman, here, look see card, number 34, your house, my letter"
"No no, sowwy, me so sowwy" And she closes the door.
And i'm like, bitch what??? So i grab a few letters from my room as illustrative purposes, and knock on her door again. She opens and is immediately
"no no no, me so sowwy, so sowwy, no no no!"
And i'm getting agitated, and i'm like "Wait! Look - these LETTERS mail, letter box, mine, i'm from next door, here you lettter, please, important, i need, MINE MINE MINE"
And she closes the fucking door again, looking intimidated. So i'm like fucking fuming now and stood outside her door aghast angry all shouting "What the fuck????!!! You got my fucking package! bla bla bla bla"
Worse thing is, I can see a fat chinese 10 year old fat fuck kid in there, who i KNOW speaks the Queen's English, just like gawkin at the TV, and i'm thinking - you fat fuck, translate for this bitch so i can get my shit yo!
I'm running into my house, running out, thinking, what do i do? Knock again?? Fuck this shit!!!
So i try and call parcelforce on the number they gave - and they have this voice recognition automated thing. Fuck me, was i not in the mood for that shit. There is NO option to talk to a customer services person - the ONLY option is to track your package or say "yes" for redelivery. And i'm screaming at the bitch "E141232342 you fuck! Khurram, KHURRAM AZIZ you deaf fucking bitch cunt fuck this shit!"
And flat mate comes running into my room "Dude?? Are you ok??!!!" And i'm like "No! Those fucking chop seuy chicken friend rice mother fuckers have got my fucking package fuck the illeterate bitch you spend years in a coutry cant string two sentences together me so sowwy won-ton bitch!"
And i'm like outside their door, and the dude of the house turns up. And i'm like "You speak English? good, listen i'm trying to get hold of my package bla bla" And then some old chinese woman comes out waving her hands at me saying shit, and the guy is like "Oh, she says she threw out." "Threw what out?" "Your package, she say she threw out!"
What??? Where?? The skip?? Which one??? I go to the skip, which of course is piled with the smelliest kinda nastiness which is ridiculous. So i got back up, knock the door again like "Which skip?? Which bag?? When did you throw it? What did it look like?"
"So sowwy, me no know, so sowwy"
FUCK.
And i KNEW they had it, weren't even looking for it. 10 mins later a chinese girl comes knocking on my door with my package and i roll my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief.
Then i smoked a spliff and it was all better.
- Khurram0
Speaking of agression and generosity.
As many of you know Michael Jackson is playing the 02. Being a massive fan of the pedophile during the ages of 7-10, i thought "you know what would be really cool? Take some hallucinogens and go to this shit"
So i call up mate Robbo be like "bitch, lets hit this MJ shit up" After some convincing he's all keen.
So I register with MJ's presale people. Obviously all that shit gets sold out. So i tell Robbo, don't worry, he's gonna do extra dates, i'll buy two tickets and we sort it.
10 mins later i get a text: "Dude. I just scored MJ tickets off a mate. Im set. Sorry buddy. I'm a cunt. But woo hoo!"
That text hit me in the middle of the chinese package incident.
Fucking traitor cunt. This was MY idea to begin with, and he pulls that shit.
Fucking loyalty bitches.
What's remarkable, despite this demosntratious of callousnes from a close friend, i was still generous with my food today.
one.