OddBlog
Out of context: Reply #402
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- Khurram0
Speaking of erratic bouts of aggression... and sincerely, no word of exaggeration in anything I'm about to relate here:
Came home yesterday found a card from the postman "Sorry you were out, we delivered your package to number 34". I knocked on 34, the Chinese family, and some woman opens the door. I explain calmly "my package, has been delivered here bla bla bla"
She looks at me, begins to close the door, muttering "no, no, no English, no English"
"What? No, wait, my letter, package, mail, postman, here, look see card, number 34, your house, my letter"
"No no, sowwy, me so sowwy" And she closes the door.
And i'm like, bitch what??? So i grab a few letters from my room as illustrative purposes, and knock on her door again. She opens and is immediately
"no no no, me so sowwy, so sowwy, no no no!"
And i'm getting agitated, and i'm like "Wait! Look - these LETTERS mail, letter box, mine, i'm from next door, here you lettter, please, important, i need, MINE MINE MINE"
And she closes the fucking door again, looking intimidated. So i'm like fucking fuming now and stood outside her door aghast angry all shouting "What the fuck????!!! You got my fucking package! bla bla bla bla"
Worse thing is, I can see a fat chinese 10 year old fat fuck kid in there, who i KNOW speaks the Queen's English, just like gawkin at the TV, and i'm thinking - you fat fuck, translate for this bitch so i can get my shit yo!
I'm running into my house, running out, thinking, what do i do? Knock again?? Fuck this shit!!!
So i try and call parcelforce on the number they gave - and they have this voice recognition automated thing. Fuck me, was i not in the mood for that shit. There is NO option to talk to a customer services person - the ONLY option is to track your package or say "yes" for redelivery. And i'm screaming at the bitch "E141232342 you fuck! Khurram, KHURRAM AZIZ you deaf fucking bitch cunt fuck this shit!"
And flat mate comes running into my room "Dude?? Are you ok??!!!" And i'm like "No! Those fucking chop seuy chicken friend rice mother fuckers have got my fucking package fuck the illeterate bitch you spend years in a coutry cant string two sentences together me so sowwy won-ton bitch!"
And i'm like outside their door, and the dude of the house turns up. And i'm like "You speak English? good, listen i'm trying to get hold of my package bla bla" And then some old chinese woman comes out waving her hands at me saying shit, and the guy is like "Oh, she says she threw out." "Threw what out?" "Your package, she say she threw out!"
What??? Where?? The skip?? Which one??? I go to the skip, which of course is piled with the smelliest kinda nastiness which is ridiculous. So i got back up, knock the door again like "Which skip?? Which bag?? When did you throw it? What did it look like?"
"So sowwy, me no know, so sowwy"
FUCK.
And i KNEW they had it, weren't even looking for it. 10 mins later a chinese girl comes knocking on my door with my package and i roll my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief.
Then i smoked a spliff and it was all better.