A Red Nosed Reindeer
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- harlequino
DrBombay's other carol thread reminded me of my whole problem with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Been sticking in my craw.
....
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.All of the other reindeer
used to laugh and call him names.
They never let poor Rudolph
join in any reindeer games.Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"Then all the reindeer loved him
as they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
you'll go down in history!....
So at first the other reindeer laugh and call him names. They wouldn't let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.
So Dasher and Dancer and all those guys are fucking cocks. We have that established.
But hold the fuck on. Santa comes in at the end, the big dick, and says "Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
THEN all the reindeer loved him. Then? THEN?? No they don't. Not one little bit. These are some callous fucking deer. I think we can see what's really going on here. At the deer shack it's all about kissing the bearded man's ass. Sucking up to Santa. God knows how that came about. There's one of two possibilities:
A. The deer shack is basically an episode of the Hills. Catty, manipulative deer are always battling out for Santa's favor and control of the herd.
B. Santa tortures reindeer. The reindeer live in fear of jolly ol St. Nick, and must appease him or else it's any number of unspeakable tortures, not to mention no food.
The only positive thing in the ending of the carol is that Rudolf now has the upper hand. If it's scenario A, Rudolf must grow a thick skin and get hip to the politics of North Pole reindeer if he's to maintain alpha status among the herd and remain Santa's number one boy.
If it's Scenario B., then let's hope our boy Rudolph figures that out too, and either keeps the fat man happy and lights the way for his annual wilding, or gets his ass out of there, possibly even liberating the other traumatized animals.
- ornj0
The whole system is full of holes. Please go back to your unquestioning faith.
- 7point340
don't you have a child you should be rearing?
- or wait, maybe you should calm down a bit first7point34
- before you ruin sesame street for her too7point34
- i consider this an informative manual for her to consult later in life.harlequino
- hellrod0
Nah man, it's all about tolerance and forgiveness. At first the other reindeer don't like him because he's different from them. Then Santa realizes that when there is fog Rudolph's nose comes in handy. (Think Tom Cruise and Dustin Hoffman in Rainman.) After that the other reindeer see their treatment of Rudolph was insensitive. You see it's a very poignant tale even by today's standards with our treatment of Islamists, Arabs, and even the French. So another question that comes up is... Is Rudolph only used in inclement weather? And in this day and age has Rudolph been replaced with annoyingly bright halogen lights?
Shine on you crazy reindeer!
- I like the Pink Floyd reference at the end there. well played.TheBlueOne
- he would be replace w/ energy efficient LED lights.bulletfactory
- ukit0
It's a cold world out there. Especially at the North Pole.
- harlequino0
Good points, hellrod, especially about inclement weather and Rudolph's usage, haha.
However, doesn't forgiveness and tolerance by their very nature take time and personal revelation? That "shouting out with glee" shit happened way too fast, imho. The fat man simply deemed it so, and everyone got in line. To me, that's evidence of either a really twisted system of inter-reindeer politics, or Santa's a loose cannon ready to blow.
Don't get me wrong though, I always root for the One With the Shiny Nose. He's our Skywalker, our David, our Proteus.
- Well, you do have to wonder about a man who makes lists about children's behavior and comes into their houses.hellrod
- TheBlueOne0
They do it all for the nookie, the nookie..the reindeer nookie...
- flavorful0
Rudolph was created by a marketing person at Montgomery Ward's if I'm not mistaken. I think the song itself is well ... pretty much the condensed version, but the original television special was able to tell more of the story in the vein of hellrod's explanation.
- Voices of reason bearing real information are not welcome here, flav. We want heated, loony invective. :)harlequino
- hahah, my apologies. I rarely if ever have anything to contribute to the PVN except worthless trivia.flavorful
- *gives brotherly tap to shoulder
It's ok, champ. :Dharlequino