Kids...
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- ********
My missus just told me that she gave my daughter a gingerbread man today. She's 20 months old, still a baby, but she realised it was a man and kept holding it up saying "Man, Man".
Then she pulled his head off and ate the body. Then she looked at the head and said "Oh Dear, poor man" and put her beaker of water to the head's mouth to give him a long refreshing drink. After the drink, she devoured the head dispassionately.
Wemon: They're like that from birth.
- arthur0
Beautiful
- mg330
I think you mean disproportionately.
- Probly, aye... had a long day.********
- stupid********
- Actually no, I did mean dispassionately. She ate his head with no emotion,after feeding him water.********
- Probly, aye... had a long day.
- arthur0
when my son was 3 he said:
"I'm hungry
I want to eat a squirrel
I want it to go in my mouth
HA HA HA
You'll never find it now
HA HA HA"
- 7point340
we tell my son he did a good job anytime he uses the potty.
he's started to ape this recently. now whenever he's outside with the dogs and one of them does their business he tells them what a good job they did. he's very enthusiastic about it too... its funny watching my son stare at my dog taking a dump and then after he's done hearing my son smile and tell the dog "good job!!!"
- Mega LMAO...
OMG so hilarious!!!!mg33 - I just fell off the whole fucking internet about that.********
- it's funnier than shit in person... let me tell you.7point34
- I know! I bet all these stories are funnier when you are actually in the moment.Jaline
- awesome!gramme
- =)))drgs
- That kids future girlfriends are going to be in for some trip, eh?TheBlueOne
- Mega LMAO...
- Jaline0
It's always hilarious when a kid says something.
Thanks for sharing :)
- 7point340
someone has taught my son NOT to say curse words. they taught him to say Jeezy Wheezy instead. obviously this is instead of saying 'jesus' or 'jesus christ' but its funny because he can completely disarm you when he whips out that bit of knowledge.
they're have been multiple times when in the middle of frustrations i have said 'fuck' or 'shit' or even milder stuff like 'hell' and 'damn' and he chimes right in without missing a beat.
"don't say that that. say Cheezy Wheezy."
- hahahaha
your son is propa'Jaline - it doesn't matter what word i use... he tells me to say "cheezy wheezy " instead. priceless7point34
- HAHAHAHAHA.
Your boy wins top prize J. And you SHOULD say Cheezy Wheezy. No more swearing.******** - You should buy him some cheese wiz...Jaline
- I mean WhizJaline
- it reminds me of TV networks that try to replace swear words in films. In the Matrix, shit = aw, shucks!Jaline
- Tim: you're absolutely right. Jaline: my favorite is all time is 'yippee kay yay mushroom farmer' from die hard 27point34
- favorite OF all time7point34
- hahahaha
- fugged0
When my oldest was about 2ish, we couldn't keep his clothes and diaper on. One day we put him down for a nap and came back later to check on him. He'd removed all his clothes and his diaper, crapped in the bed and was driving his Bob the builder truck through his poop. When he noticed us looking at him from the doorway he simply said, "I pooped on Bob."
- mg330
My girlfriends' nephew is 5 and calls his grandmother "Grandma Robot" and when you ask him why he says "Because she's gonna be a robot when she grows up."
It's always hilarious. He believes every word of it!
- 7point340
doing flashcards with my boy (2 and a half) he could name all of the letters and the pictures on the cards except one. i was really proud. the one that messed him up was O, Overalls.
for all the other cards he had said the letter and then i had responded with the question "for?" and he would fill in the blank. example: A. A for? A for apple... and so on.
so we get to O and he's stumped. and finally says O for... pants?it was cute and smiled and said no, aidan, O for Overalls. so he says O for Alls (say it out loud to get it) hahaha i felt bad but i laughed and then he looked confused and i said no, but he didn't realize what he had gotten wrong so hes says: "E for Alls?"
pretty cute
- This one breaks my heart a bit. Pearl can't learn "Please" because it sounds like PEAS and she gets upset becuase********
- she wants, say, a slice of pear and we're going "Say PLEASE" and she's saying "no... Pear" and ...********
- .... getting her bottom lip on.********
- aww poor pearl7point34
- i've got an aidan as well.fugged
- nice... yeah he's a character... good name!7point34
- This one breaks my heart a bit. Pearl can't learn "Please" because it sounds like PEAS and she gets upset becuase
- voiceof0
This weekend I watched my 21 month old chasing her older sister around the room yelling "I want to check your blood sugar" (she's type1 diabetic) It was a very strange moment.
- gramme0
Man, I'm looking forward to being a first-time dad come Rocktober...
reminds me, I need to practice diaper changing. Thing is, I have friends w/ babies but don't get to see them all that much. Maybe I invest in some Oops I crapped my pants and learn on myself? Ehh??
- arthur0
Driving my 5yr old son to school a few months back, after being cut off by another car, he asks, "what does 'go fuck yourself' mean?"
bad dad
- 7point340
@arthur
i curse very softly in the car when my son is in, but he hears me mumbling and can tell form my tone that i'm not happy, and always says: "wha's matter, daddy?"
also he tells me to "make it louder" talking about the radio and "go faster, daddy" i'm gonna have to be careful when he's driving age.
- haha, your kid sounds awesome man :Dgramme
- lol, that is definitely a signal of things to come ;)
I love it when kids get sad when their parents seem sad.Jaline - I mean...I'm not happy about them being sad, but you know what I mean. It's nice to see :)Jaline
- haha yeah its insanely cute. he 's very smart... and often i forget how young he is7point34
- detritus0
This thread makes detritus broody.
- you want a baby?Jaline
- whygramme
- umm....that wasn't an offer, btwJaline
- So you say, Jaline...so you say.gramme
- I don't want kids for a while, but I'd rather have a kid than a husband at this moment...Jaline
- gramme: playing matchmaker 'twixt Canadiennes & Brits since 30 seconds ago.gramme
- you know, detritus does have that ginger gene that will become rarified in a few years.gramme
- from natural selection. I see what you are saying.Jaline
- don't lie jaline, you're a resourceful girl. i'm sure you could find some on the black market somewhere. slightly used7point34
- used7point34
- I suck at matchmaking.gramme
- 'Why?'? I fricking love kids and I'm well in to my 30th year without any of my own on the horizon. This makes me sad.detritus
- chin up, 30 is the new 24!gramme
- You should adopt :)Jaline
- Good Lord no, I want one of my own! It's all an ego trip - why would I want someone else's genes?detritus
- ..and thank you, Gramme.
I'll be back for more consolation when I'm 40... :)detritus - Well, by that point you'll be done for, but hey enjoy the last 9 years of fun!!gramme
- *kiddinggramme
- What you mean is that you want a ginger kid. OK, I will find a red-headed hottie for you...Jaline
- Jnr_Madison0
The idea of having a kid still terrifies the shit out of me.
- great, the two of you can change your diapers together! :Dgramme
- arthur0
My son just got his training wheels off his bike and now we cruise to school on our matching bmx bikes, it's awesome. I get plenty of smiles from the ladies on the way. nothing cuter. if I was a single man...
- ********0
hahaahha all these stories are hilarious and wonderful!!
