Negotiating fees
- Started
- Last post
- 70 Responses
- kinross0
this is my all time favourite thread
- Corvo0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me "Is that a picture of your wife on your desk?"
Client "Yes"
Me "Faaark - 20k and I'll let you sleep over tonight."
- chossy0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me "There is the door"
Client, "What?"
Me "SILENCIO"
- neue75_bold0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me "Yes"
Client, "Great"
Me, "Can't blame a guy for trying to rip you off with inflated pricing on what is realistically 6 hours of recycling past designs and 4 hours of selling you bullshit that you could've gotten done for $300 in India."
- Corvo0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me "Is that a picture of your wife on your desk?"
Client "Not really, and I'm not planning to pay you either"
- chossy0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me "Of course not, after aking a question like that I have had a little glimpse into your sordid little life, I bet you are the type of person to eat an advocadvo roll and enjoy it and also I bet you ask for 'semi dried tomatoes' in your salads that you eat. You're ghey likes, shut it"
Client, "What?"
Me "SILENCIO"- Intercontinental chossy, the first in a series of chossy figurines.
Only £14.95!Concrete
- Intercontinental chossy, the first in a series of chossy figurines.
- chossy0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me "No way cacka poo poo pee pee pants"
Client, "What?"
Me "No way cacka poo poo pee pee pants"
Client, "How dare you"
Me "How DARE you"
Client, "I'm leaving"
Me "Good fuck off"
Client, "What"
Me "SILENCIO"
- AndyRoss0
Me, "20k."
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me, "Three easy installments of 6k, plus a wee one-time non-refundable start-up deposit of 2k, plus 9% interest on the balance, plus your home and both cars and your mistress's phone number as collateral. And a set of steak knives."
- Spookytim0
Me "3k"
Client "Can you do it for half?"
Me "No"
Client "Okay, 3k it is then"
Me "Really? What about 6....?"
Client "No"
Me "Okay, lets agree on 3"
Client "Can you do it for half?"
- chossy0
On a bit of a tangent, do lassies mams produce milk all the time? or is it only when they have a little bun in the oven, it's just that if they produce milk all the tim then I have had a potentially brilliant idea it may be frowned upon by the rest of the world but not in Europe.
- Spookytim0
They start milkulating when pregnant but as long as they're kept on the milk round they can keep supply going for ever. Wet nurses keep it going after giving birth and make a living from it.
- chossy0
Brilliant,
basically I was thinking of rounding up all the hot lassies that are wet nurses' I'd probably have to use horses and whip to do this, then get them to work in my unique tea and coffee shop, I think people know where this is going but I will tell you anyway.
They would walk around and say hey sailor fancy a shot of milk yo!, then you would say yes please pretty titties lady, then they would sort of squirt it at your cup.
It would be like hooters but way way better and proper interactive :Dthoughts........
- Spookytim0
Chossy, Love it. It was done on TV though by womeone... wracking my brians for details, but somenoe had a really beautiful girl who was lactating and she was doing exactly what you say... going round the tea shop asking people if they want milk. It was great. Some people loved it, some freaked out... one bloke kept asking for a bit more HAHA.
- chossy0
FUCK SAKE >:(
this same thing happened to me ages ago I had this great idea for a film and I fully pitched it to friends and they said yeah it's been made already and is called 'meet joe black' I was absolutely heart broken as I thought it was a doozy :D
Admittedly this current idea is more of a pipe dream than a real possibility but I am slightly upset none the less but no so that I would be heart broken like my meet joe black experience.
I have yet to see meet joe black as I think I know the story.
- detritus0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me, "I don't think so, I'm sure we could broach a more sensible agreement here"
Client, "Verily sir, you speak the truth - let's mull this some more over lunch at Papizio's"
Me, "Wonderful"
drgs, "No, I think you'll find that you're doing it wrong"
Me & Client, "er.."
Me, "Who the fuck are you?"
drgs, "I am the all-seeing and all-knowing light and truth, absolute and infinite, I know all and am all"
Client, "but you're not even anything to do with this meeting?"
Me, *shits in drg's fridge*
- Corvo0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me, "When we our betters see bearing our woes, We scarcely think our miseries our foes.
Who alone suffers, suffers most i' the mind,
Leaving free things and happy shows behind.
But then the mind much sufferance doth o'erskip,
When grief hath mates, and bearing fellowship.
How light and portable my pain seems now,
When that which makes me bend makes the
King bow. He childed as I fathered! Tom, away!
Mark the high noises, and thyself bewray
When false opinion, whose wrong thought defiles thee, In thy just proof, repeals and reconciles thee.
What will hap more tonight, safe scape the King! Lurk, lurk...
Client, "...Oh shut up, 20k it is."
- chossy0
Me "20k"
Client "can we do it for 6?"
Me "Sure I will do it for six, but realise you will only get a third of what you would like, I cannot fully realise what you want for 6 g's niggs'
Client "forget about the money did you call me niggs"
Me "yes yes I did"
Client "thats a derogatory term"
Me "what really!!!"
Client "yes!!"
Me "god I'm so sorry I was trying to be street smart and talk a little jive to lighten the mood a little"
Client " well I'd appreciate it if you didn't"
Me "Look I'm really sorry"
Client "It's ok"
Me "Should I pop some inxs on the stereo to calm us down a little :D"
Client "you're a bozo"
Me "why thank you :D".
- jamble0
Me, "20k"
Client, "Can you do it for 6?"
Me: "6 million? .. fucking brilliant."
- chossy0
Me, "20k bizzatch"
Client " Fo shizzle?"
Me, "yeah Dizzle"
Client "I'm Audi"
Me, "Dayam"