fuck
- Started 17 years ago
- Last post 17 years ago
- 34 Responses
- ESKEMA
I'm completely drunk, I didn't sleep and I have a wound in my leg that I made getting out of home 1 hour ago. I want to go home. jesus christ
- Spookytim0
Ah, you made a sensible choice in contacting QBN to tell us about this. That's exactly what I would do under similar circumstances.
- ********0
and wee should give a slying shite why exactly?
- weeeeeeeee********
- slying? s isn't even next to f on the keyboard.********
- But 'slying' works well there I feel.Spookytim
- +1 for alliterationparaselene
- needs more alliteration though.Jaline
- i thought it was a scottish thing ;)Tara
- weeeeeeeee
- ESKEMA0
I'm bleeding. on the outside and on the inside
- paraselene0
WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
- I'm on my chair. it's ok I guess. could be worse if I had to lift somethingESKEMA
- LOUD NOISES********
- paraselene0
STAY THERE.
- God that sounds like you mean it. Had to check your profile to see if you lived close by, HahahaSpookytim
- ********0
this is gripping stuff. don't do anything for the next 5 minutes, i'm away for a smoke.
- Spookytim0
Have you checked your colon for obstructions?
- Hey spooky, how comes you changed yer name?ian
- Long story involving a course of gender re-assignment therapy and a brief stab at a career in pop music.Spookytim
- done that allready. right after the damn coffee!ESKEMA
- Well, hope it worked out for you! Both the career in pop (spooky) and the colon checking (eskema).ian
- ian0
You should stay very still and try not to move. If, however you do need to move or dress the wound, listen to this first for motivation. Guaranteed to make you feel better.
- creative-0
Hahaha, that'll learn you!
- Spookytim0
ESKEMA, You really ought to try and relive the discomfort by coming on to someone at work. Why don't you go and rub your crotch up a co-workers head while they talk on the phone?. It really does help with the pain and also re-directs bloodflow away from the injury. They might be a little shocked at first but if you tell them you're drunk and bleeding, they'll be happy to help you.
- Spookytim0
I once worked at a company called BamberForsyth as acting Creative Director alongside (and obviosuly slightly under) their full time CD on rebranding Prudential. A mate of mine was over from NY one time and we only met for a quiet drink becuase I had a big presentation next day. That quiet drink became a 6pm to 6am heavyweight boozing session in Soho, then back to my flat for some huge spliffage before passing out face down on the floor. Then I got a call at what seemed like three minutes after nodding off but was actually 11.00am. It was Bambers asking me where I was becuase the brand team were in reception waiting for me to take them through the new brand structure (or whatever it was that day)... I was still totally boxed off my head and stunk of booze. I ran from my flat to the offices and did the whole presentation, pissed and stoned as fuck, and really obviously so too, and instead of being perturbed by my lateness, my dishevelled appearance, the stink of whisky and weed, the client team congratulated me on a great presentation.
... At least, that's what I thought they said at the time. Maybe they were just desperate to get the fuck away from the rambling booze soaked, bogeyed lunatic who made no sense and had rizzlas stuck to his face.
- Summary: I got wasted and almost lost my jobcreative-
- Fortunately I wasn't actually on payroll and also they were desperately short of ...Spookytim
- ... people able to undertake a job that size so I scraped by and took the job through sign off.Spookytim
- The losing your job bit was my Hollywood dramatisationcreative-
- melq0
Drop a hit of acid for the speed buzz.
- rson0
is this like a role playing thread?
- ESKEMA0
oh yeah. sweet. I'm a midget with a +2 double axe. I was poisoned by three girls and am with a blurred vision and dizzy like effect. I lost the dice roll over my clothes cabinet and I'm bleeding now. does any one have some kinfd of antidote??
- You beat me to it you drunken arse.Spookytim
- ahahahahah +666
I love D&DOnesandZeros
- Spookytim0
Yeah that's it Rson. There's a couple of places left if you want to join in... a wizard with power skillz 4 and a darkside nature, an ork with madness 6 and violence 12 but he has no limbs cuz we just hacked him up, and a little elf who's shit hot with a bow and arrows. Right, I just rolled a 65 on the hexagonal blue dice, a 4 on the spellcaster dice and I picked up a Community Chest from the Monopoly board...eh? hang on, that shouldn't be there.
- Spookytim0
That's all very well Rson but my troll just threw a can of petrol up the door and chucked a zippo on it then jumped out the window into a waiting speed boat where he proceeded to dry hump the leg of a beautiful russian model without delay.
Game set and match to me then.