U get this joke?
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- mg33
My dad sent me this, and either I'm stupid or the joke is, but what's the gist of this?
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On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for the teacher.The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.
The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.
Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she guessed.
"No," the boy replied.
She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?
"No mam," said the little boy. "It's a puppy".
- PonyBoy0
did michael vick write that?
- emokid0
moral of the story: dog piss tastes like champagne.
- lvl_130
no idea. the joke is not a joke as in funny haha. more like stupid. dumdum
- mg330
It was from my dad and he usually sends good stuff but I've been scratching my head on it for a while.
Changing the subject - I saw the funniest f'ing thing of all time on Saturday:
A man was standing in front of the entrance to Walgreens trying to sell a VCR to every single person that entered and left as if his life depended on it.
I sort of wanted to offer $20 fot it, and then just drive over it with the car.
- GreedoLives0
Tell it to a third grader, s/he will die...
- Affluenza0
Enter Pharmacist: You should probably re-sign your card.
Woman: Why?
Pharmacist: Well, you signed over the magnetic strip. You're supposed to sign over the white part down here.
Woman: Then how would the machine read my signature? That doesn't make any sense.
Pharmacist: No, it's a magnetic strip. It reads the information, not the signature.
Woman: I don't think you know what you're talking about. That's not how the machines work. You're a pharmacist, not an electrician.
- doesnotexist0
you really don't get it? you would expect the liquor store owner's son to bring in liquor...or wine.
She asks is this wine? because it's obviously a deep red leaking. PSYCH! it's a dead puppy!
fucking hilarious. let's hear some dead baby jokes.
- GreedoLives0
whats the worst part about being trappped under a giant pile of dead babies?
having to eat your way out...
- TResudek0
I get it and think it is funny. One of those jokes that takes a left turn at the end + it is about a dog pissing in a box. Pretty funny.
- Llyod0
I never gave my teachers presents. they gave me shitty grades so they can go die.
- mg330
Now I get it - she expected liquor.
Thanks. My mind gets rattled sometimes.
- harlequino0
pee/blood
- ********0
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies, and a Cadillac?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage!
- elahon0
What's red, bubbly and scratches at your window?
A baby in the microwave.
- ********0
Ahem, that is "What is black and bubbling and taps on glass?"
- harlequino0
What's the best thing about banging twenty five year olds?
There's twenty of them.
- blaw0
A man was standing in front of the entrance to Walgreens trying to sell a VCR to every single person that entered and left as if his life depended on it.
mg33
(Nov 1 07, 10:59)----
Saturday must've been the day for it. Change 'Walgreens' to 'Auto Zone' and 'VCR' to 'lawn mower' and you've got my version of the story.
- M0NEYCIDE0
it's piss. or a smooshed puppy.
- ********0
A man was standing in front of the entrance to Walgreens trying to sell a VCR to every single person that entered and left as if his life depended on it.
mg33
(Nov 1 07, 10:59)----
Saturday must've been the day for it. Change 'Walgreens' to 'Auto Zone' and 'VCR' to 'lawn mower' and you've got my version of the story.
blaw
(Nov 1 07, 12:10)You do know these people are crackheads correct? Or heroin addicts, haha.
Either fairly new ones due to the stuff they sell, or old ones due to the fact they have exhausted any resources and are unable to steal anything worth of any real value.
I once had a crackhead try to sell me a real nice digital camera for 25 bucks.
Another time a buggy* filled with steaks ... 10 bucks.
They are hilarious. I like watching them from afar and seeing people's reactions, and then actually seeing people buy the stuff off of them and seeing them run away ... only to be back at the same place with something even more ridiculous trying to sell.
* Shopping Cart.
- harlequino0
Thank you for the *.
I read that and said aloud "a buggy?"
haha