Story time kids.....
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- kidswift-
OK so I want one childhood story from every person today...
Mine begins with a young Kidswift after leaving the UK at the age of 4 and arriving in New Zealand is taken to the Zoo with his day and Grandparents on a fine summer day back in the early 80's. Kidswift is generally running around being a manic young thing that is until he reaches the spider monkey enclosure. Now for those of you not in the know spider monkeys are the monkeys with human like little grabby hands who love to wait for it....grab things. Hence lots of warning signs and a log barrier preventing you from touching the cage. Que Dad and Grandparents turning a blind eye as young swift climbs under the log barrier to get close to the "keykeys" as the were called back in the day pre-universal name change. With his face pressed against the cage an extended monkey family reunion descends on this helpless tyke grabbing his hair and body and try to pull him into the cage..... Kidswift freaks out starts screaming. KS dad hears the screams from the monkey enclosure and vaults to barrier to reclaim his son from the forceful grip of a million little monkeys.... once free I remember asking me why they grabbed me and Dad looking at me with a straight face and telling me well you came from the monkeys and they just wanted you back....
Next please....
- ********0
I pooped in my diaper when I was 2
Next please....
- paraselene0
i had a similar situation, but with swans and jimmy stewart.
to this day i am absolutely terrified of swans. my nightmares are like ruben dario on dmt.
- honest0
I pooped in my diaper when I was 2 and hid it behind the sofa
Next please....
Honest
(Oct 6 06, 02:08)
- paraselene0
i pooped in my training toilet when i was 2 and was so overcome with pride that i dragged said toilet into the dining room to the great amusement and wonder of the dinner party invitees.
Next please....
- kidswift-0
My little brother about 3 years old was running around a friends back yard got stung by a bee, fell into a rose bush then shat himself.... next please
- republik80
I once jumped off a swing and my teeth went through my bottom lip.
It hurt.
- ********0
I can't recal anything interesting about my childhood.
- paraselene0
yeah but you've been hit by lightning.
- ********0
Yeah, but I wasn't kid when it happend.
- paraselene0
doesn't matter. the rule is that one struck-by-lightning compensates for at least ten years of nothing remotely interesting.
- ********0
Apart from nearly dying a few times from asthma, there's not much to tell.
- ********0
I knocked my own front teeths out with my knee, trying to do a double flip of a roof.
Now I can bit ice cream without getting a brain freeze!
- ********0
You realise para - that by telling people about this you reduce their odds of ever beating the odds to nil.
That's the only consequence of my being struck by lightning.
You're all doomed!
- ********0
- vespa0
stop me if i've said this before.
my first confusion with the world also began when i was about 4.
we'd just moved to aus and my mum had this beat up old corolla called bluey. we loved bluey, even tho she had car-tourette's, beeping her horn obnoxiously every time she turned left and generally farting and swearing at inappropriate moments like an old man.
anyway bluey's back seat was held together by a load of black gaffa tape. mum always told me i MUSTN'T touch the tape. she must have said it so the seat wouldn't fall apart but she didn't explain this and so, with a trait i carry with me to this day, if i don't know why something is the way it is my mind just makes up a reason.
i thought the tape was poisonous and that if i touched it that would be the end of me. i used to sit scrunched up in the back of the car in a really weird shape so i didn't have to touch it.
but worse, i have ACTUAL MEMORIES of touching the tape with my shoulder and all the skin peeling back at the point of evil contact! there is an associated peeling-crumpling sound in my memory and everything.
what a freak child i was!
- chossy0
I fell out of a tree and bit through my labrett into my mouth I have a scar on my face where it happened, I ran home to show my moms and she freaked cause you could see my teeth through my face and then I looked in the mirror and started crying :'( and then my brother started crying too, then about a month later when it had all healed up pretty much I was walking behind my brother as he was fly fishing and he promptly popped a fish hook into the same spot and ripped it back open again :'( we all cried again.
- vespa0
ahh poor mini-chossy and his moms and bro!
- kidswift-0
Ha ha classic Vespa!!
My Mum brought up me and my little bro Theo up as vegetarians and never bought any biscuits or sweet stuff. Hence we were both totally like little candy whores willing to do anything for a sugar kick. I remember coming home from school and making a massive bowl of iceing but once concocted it didn't seem quite complete... one bottle of green food colouring later my creation was ready I started eating it but heard mums car come up the drive. I desperately shovelled handfulls of the green goop into my mouth.... Mum found me doubled over in the vegetable garden with green iceing puke all over my face....had to eat freakin lentils for weeks after that
- kelpie0
I had a race on a bike with a guy who'd just got a brand new racer bike for his birthday. I was on my old grifter or something and got a small head start.
I went round a bend and hit some gravel and lost control of the bike, sending me over the handlebars from where I bit the road on the way down and smashed out 5 of my front teeth and shaved the tops off the rest of them. All I got was a huge dose of pain and a total white out, then I tried to pick up all the little bits of blood spattered tooth so I could take them to the dentist and get him to put them back in. daft.
My teeth are still utterly fucked, cos the dentist we went to was a drunk and he destroyed what was left of the rest of my mouth.
- kidswift-0
Ha can totally relate to that Chossy my old man took me out fishing on these rocks, told me to get well behind him. He cast the rod back the three barbed hook stuck into the back of my shoulder. It hurt so fuckin bad i couldn't let out a scream that was until without looking back to see why the hook was caught on Dad cast the rod forward with all his might................soon after with his ear drums bleeding from young swifts bloody screams he most definitely worked it out