maybe in the top fifty...
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- paraselene
so, last night i went to get a massage from a lovely nutcase that i know. he's a nutcase and the people that he lives with are nutcases and we like it that way.
so i get there and he tells me that i've interrupted a truly surreal occasion and to come into the kitchen and join the fun.
he had just been making himself a cup of green tea, and took the honey off the shelf (new honey, not crystallised or anything) and opened the lid. there was something inside of the honey that, upon first glance, would appear to be a bit of honeycomb, you know, as you do in posh honey sometimes.
further investigation, however, revealed it to be a diaphragm.
:l
might i add that there have been no women living in that house since december.
- PonyBoy0
Enter response:
fuck... that's where I left it.
- neue75_bold0
what a nutcase...
- jamble0
well that just makes the prospect of drinking green tea even more unappealing!
- kelpie0
that's nothing, I once found snuggles chastity belt in a new pint of milk
- UndoUndo0
ewwwwww,
i hear the fkutter of pound notes
- UndoUndo0
fkutter = flutter
- paraselene0
why would anyone do that!?!?!
was it perhaps an accident? open honey pot by the bed, diaphragm thrown down thoughtlessly in the afterglow? does honey have some sort of antiseptic properties that i am unaware of? can anyone's fetishes be that bizarre? a surrealist passive-agressive statement made by a jilted lover?
- neue75_bold0
I hope you licked it clean...
- kelpie0
I take it you had the tea unsweetened then, right?
- UndoUndo0
so someone from the house put it in, and you dont suspect the factory??
sounds like a bizarre sex-honey fetish gone wrong
- paraselene0
kelpie, from that moment on, nothing but nothing passed my lips in that house, and nothing ever shall.
- paraselene0
well, undo, given the levels of nujobbiness abounding in this place, i would think the liklihood of it being a factory job would be slim.
- kelpie0
quite right, this may only be the tip of the iceberg
- paraselene0
especially considering the quantities of pr0n in this place.
who knows where a dildo might turn up. in the soup? craftily hidden beneath some salad leaves? tucked away in a family-size jar of peanut butter?
- blaw0
reminds me of...
and so the bartender says, "a vampire's tea bag!"
harharhar.
- neue75_bold0
I think I'm starting to see a connection...
"Cervical caps are used with a small amount of natural or chemical spermicide. The natural spermicides are lactic acid based, aloe and lemon juice or honey (sometimes called a honey cap)."
- paraselene0
damn.
that takes all the fun out of it.
interesting about the spermicides, though.
- neue75_bold0
I ruin things, it's just what I do. Mike the ruiner....
- kelpie0
'ruiner' should be capitalised there too, mike
- kelpie0
like 'Berserker' might, on the right kind of Viking