Passing
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- Jaline
My friend's mom died of cancer yesterday morning. I met her a few times and she drove us to various places in the past few years.
The wake is tomorrow and the funeral is on Saturday. I can't go on Saturday because my grandfather broke his hip and is really old, so we don't know how long he has to live and therefore are heading over to Toronto to see him.
I really don't know what to do. Any suggestions on what I could do for my friend? I haven't really been in this situation before.
Thanks.
- skt0
Just be their friend.
- designerror0
Donate the money you would have used for flowers etc. to cancer research in her name.
- grunttt0
flowers are a nice touch.
- kelpie0
Just be their friend.
skt
(Jun 9 06, 05:03)
- Jaline0
Do you suggest I go to the wake? I can't go to the funeral, so I will probably stop by on Sunday or afterwards...
- mr_snuggles0
_
Listen and let them know you are there for them...
_That's all you can do...
_
best wishes
_
- grunttt0
when my mother passed away the wake did me some good. i was able to see everyone and talk a bit. not the case at the funeral because it's all ceremony.
- xenicon0
the days after a funeral are so dense with things to do any kindness is appreciated. Sending over food, filling the tank with gas, sorting mail, anything that keeps the daily going is a way to help your friend in a practical and useful way.
- Rand0
yes, go to the wake.
a friends of ours, mother of a friends of our daughter's also died yeterday
- winter0
I'd drop by the wake
- chossy0
Do what feels right Jaline perhaps give a donation to a cancer charity.
- nooner0
Just be their friend.
skt
(Jun 9 06, 05:03)end of thread.
- joyride0
like everyOne else said, be a friend. Go check on them next week too. That is when they need people most, everyones a friend this week, it's when everything calms down when they need people.
- blaw0
so sorry jaline and rand.
- nocomply0
So sorry to hear this. Send over some catered food/cookies/whatever. Your friend is obviously going to have lots of visitors during the next few days, and it would be nice if they could offer up something to eat.
- flavorful0
Yea, it's tough. Flowers are indeed a nice touch, and being their friend are two simple, yet sometimes the hardest to do.
No one likes death, it's a part of life no one expects, however, I've witnessed firsthand how some people tend to drop all contact until they fell it is "alrite" to talk to the person.
Don't do that. If you can't go to the wake/funeral, call them up and leave a message. Even just talking and listening is abig help.
If you think it's rough to venture into a situation like that, just imagine how the other person feels - no one in that situation usually opens up voluntarily and shouldn't have to.
Most of the time the person wants to express how happy of a time they had with the person when they were alive, others wish they could have spent more time, etc..
Just be a friend and let them get it off their chest. They need it.
- Jaline0
Any idea what type of flowers? And possibly white or yellow in colour?
- Shift5250
“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
- Leo Buscaglia
- k0na_an0k0
sorry to hear about this jaline.
the only thing you can do for your friend is to be a friend.
and her the same to you.
she'll understand that you need to see your ill grandfather.
- flavorful0
Flowers, eh, usually I ask the floral place what they suggest and just give them a price range, and I usually ask them if they can brighten it up a bit so they can be the type of flowers they can take home with them afterwards.
I'm a bright person, I don't like dreary stuff.
... Probably why I don't wear black to wakes/funerals.