Grandparent laughs
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- mg33
What are some classic things your grandparents have said in your life that still make you laugh?
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My grandmother:
"That's where they go up the rectum with a light."(during a phonecall, describing getting a colonoscopy earlier in the week to me.)
Love that she mentioned nothing about the camera. Just a light. LOL
- version30
"If i could go back I'd fuck everything with legs, everything"
-Grandpa Version
- e-pill0
"WHERE IS MY DIAPER?"
:)
- JazX0
I'd say that most of our Grandparents came from a non PC environment.
Once my Grandad was swearing at some black kids in German, drunk as a skunk and I was like 6 and didn't understand and he rolled down about 25 steps ahahah, he wasn't that old then, it was funny....
- mg330
The same grandmother of mine is in the hospital right now, high potassium or something that's making her a bit loopy.
She told my mom over the phone today that after a cat scan she had, she didn't get put back in the same room she was in.
She told my mom "They put me in some garage by an alley."
- fate_0
I was trapped in the tokyo airport for 24 hours because I couldn't pay a $5 train ticket and missed my flight.
I lamented to my grandmother that they should have just let me catch my flight on time, and that i had probably spent $200 on trains in that country.
Grandma: That's awful. Those japanese, they're perfectionaists, they just can't let things go.
Me: Yeah I know grandma
Grandma: Just can't let things be. That's why we had to use the bomb on them.
Me: *stunned*
- mg330
Wow.fate_
Same grandmother of mine used to swear alot if she was mad, but her favorite word combo was "shitass." I heard her refer to someone as that, probably about the mailman or something.
- todelete__20
aahahaha!
me: grandpa, that cigar has been smoked down pretty far. how do you know when to throw it out.
grandpa: when it burns my fingers and i yell "AH SHIT!"
me: stunned
an hour later, i hear from the backyard my grandfather "AH SHIT!"
- JazX0
"If i could go back I'd fuck everything with legs, everything"
-Grandpa Version
version3
(Oct 17 05, 12:04)that's so true, you will never find an old person that says they had too much sex
- mg330
One grandfather and I got in an argument about a pair of Andre Aggasi shoes I had in junior high.
I was telling him about them or something, the "technology of the air bubble," and he started going on and on about:
"Those are no good. What you really need is a good pair of wooden shoes."
This was in the late 80s. He was dead serious.
- todelete__20
my grandfather taught me to golf.
one of the first times he took me to a real course (not just the range) he stepped up to the tee, looked at me and said "i'm going to teach you to play a hook" then swings and shanks the ball into the water.
then he says "next i'm going to teach you the mulligan" (pretty much golf term for do-over no countsies)
- ross0
my grandma would be into her 4th of 5th sherry the afternoon, stumbling around at the cottage and she would walk by you and fart.
Thinking no one whould assume it was her, she would always say "who's that, what's that" really quickly...
- KILLputer0
Things my grandfather use to say to me:
"Your slower than molasses in July"
"That's not worth a pot to piss or a window to throw it out of"
"If you shit your pants always blame the dog- if you don't have a dog then it's your own fault your a dumbass."
"Go home your mom's got apples!"
"What do you know about milking a duck with a crowbar on a rainy sunday afternoon?"
"I'll give you a boot in the ass then you'll go home cryin"
"You look like a mess of fish"