what it has come to
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- kingjulien
The house across the street from me is being rebuilt from the ground up, and for the last three weeks these bastards have started hammering at 7:00 am. Since I've been on vacation my sleeping habits have been completely subverted, and a sort of mini-insomnia has set in. I sleep every night, but it's never more than 4-5 hours, and no matter how hard I try to return to bed in the morning, I never can get past the hammering. It's at the point where-- as I'm staring at my celing fan each morning, as the M-80's and bouncing betty's go off in my mind--I feel like Willard in the opening scene of Apocalypse Now.
This morning, in a fit of hysteria, I snapped. I heard the sawing and the Nickleback on the radio and their silly banter and things got furious. I saw red. I jumped from bed, put on my k-Swiss, went to the fridge, grabbed a dozen eggs, put the container in my backpack, and went for a morning hike. I went around the block without makng eye contact, smiled hello to a few old ladies on their morning walk, found the levee entrance to the river sanwiched between two homes, climbed 30 feet through the weeds and the west nile invested shrubs, and went behind the house in question. Paranoid but determined, I arranged my escape route. Nobody was looking, the river was quiet, and time seemed to stand still.
In 15 seconds, I got off 6 eggs. I heard an "Oh shit" from one of the workers, saw another get splatted on the back, and saw the rest duck for cover. It was magical to see those white things fly through the air, suspended in slow-motion. Perhaps they thought it was just a bird. Regardless, before anybody knew what happened, I was down the river path and into the bushes.
That's right. I'm 31 years old and I spent my hungover Saturday morning getting revenge on a bunch of unsuspecting construction workers. The noise didn't stop once I returned home, but that's okay. I feel much better about the situation. And I really offer no apologies for my behavior here.
It's simply one of those things that needed to be done.
- mrdobolina0
ahhhahhaa
- abhi0
ahahahahaha. hell hath no fury like a sleep pattern scorned. good job you.
- kingjulien0
lol. Carolina 82? Damn, that was Jordan and Sam Perkins and James Worthy. I still have their championship game win over G-town on my old Beta tape player.
- Rand0
- Lesk0
that was you! I'll kill you.
- welded0
I was in a similar situation at my old apartment, but it was drunk morons in the middle of the night who vexxed me. However, I never got the guts to go through with it.
Sir, I salute you.
- IRNlun60
bwahahaha...damn, throwing eggs brings back some great memories. good job...
- kingjulien0
thanks. if you're in need of a cathartic experience i highly recommend it.
- version30
king julien are you in venice?
- kingjulien0
um, no, but if you have a target in mind and enough cash, my ranch pak extra large double-A's can travel.
- version30
no i was just wondering because the same thing is happening to me and it starts every morning at 7
strange
- kingjulien0
keep music evil.
- tkmeister0
revenge makes you feel good!
- mrdobolina0
brother, dont forsake me.
- Sonar0
I used to wake up to my neighbour playing Christina Aguellera at full volume....6.30aaaaammmmm!!
that drove me insane to the point are started knowing all the words..
damn I never thought of eggs!!
your on the next level....
- mayo0
i bet you threw like a girl
:P