intervention
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- grafholic
i'm going to keep this short - any recommendation on confronting a friend with drinking problem? the situation is getting bad to worse and i need to do something about it.
- Soler0
If it's affecting you, then don't let it. The individual needs to hit rock bottom on their own and want to change.
- stewart0
your drinking problem or his?
- mattyd0
ive found intervention aint the way to go. me friends and i basically ostracized a friend til he got his act together. it allowed him to figure things out for himself rather than be sat down and criticized by everyone.
its tough to do, but when done right, it works.
- gruntt0
*note to self. if there is a young asian woman in front of the apartment, keep driving.
- ArtDirector0
Sounds like a tough call...
- grafholic0
as much as i know she needs a wake-up call, i'd like to tell her something in advance.
btw, she just got DUI and yet it wasn't a wake-up call for her. that's fucked up.
- mattyd0
its definitely situational. you know more about the situation than we do. however, i think a confrontation is just going to cause more problems.
- todelete__20
simply say "we need to talk about something serious. how about we go to the bar and talk about it over a few beers.'
oh right...
- Soler0
peopel can get 3, 4 5 DUIS and not hit rock bottom. i agree w/ earlier comment. Ostricise, ignore, until they come around.
noone wants to lose all friends
- tkmeister0
are you talking about yourself, graffy ;P
- grafholic0
mattyd - yeah that's the area i've found it really tough.
people are coming to me telling me all these stories of fucked up stuff she did to them. me telling her she's ruining her friendship with others will only be taken as a criticism. like i said, getting DUI didn't hit her in the face too much.
and honestly i feel there's other stuff going on in her life that's driving her to be irresponsible like this..and i don't know if she realizes that. i just want to tell her that maybe she needs to calm down and take care of herself for a bit.
- gruntt0
graf - sorry to have made a joke. It's hard to see friends going downhill. I've witnessed it myself. DUI - she surely sees that as a "driving vilolation," had she been in a wreck, that may have been a wake up call... but nobody wants something like that.
Have you tried just talking to her, one on one. Make a scheduled appointment with her to "talk" - she'll know it's serious. Then just have a heart to heart.
Good luck. You're friend is lucky to have people like you that care enough to step up.
- mattyd0
at least her DUI takes the keys out her hands. i think the only time a confrontation needs to happen is if she's getting behind the wheel hammered.
also, you could tell her you know me and tell her i said to chill the fuck out...
- grafholic0
sigh, wish i was the one with the problem..
today's pretty bad...i stayed away from her this weekend, so i guess she hung out with other people...and those people are now calling me/emailing me to tell me some fucked up shit she did to them..
- jimmyjames0
i'd consider not telling her of your NT name.
- grafholic0
i really don't care if she finds out my screenname and gets pissed off at me.
the situation is pretty bad, i would like my *talk* to her to be as effective as it can be. i just want her to stop harming her and others this way.
- mattyd0
something else you could do is get in touch with the group of friends she hangs out with and organize non-alcoholic shit for this weekend. my friends and i did that once. just really stupid shit that you can have a good time doing sober. just to fill the friday/saturday night binge fest.
also, if that doesnt work, go out the next weekend and let her have a few. then get this really horrific looking dude/ugly beast to hit on her and convince her that the dude is 'so hot' and cajole her into hooking up with him. take pictures. the next morning show her the pics and be like 'he went back to the zoo after he left you...'
the ole beer goggles are reason enough to put the bottle down.
- anzelina0
it's a tough situation.
there have been / sitll are alcoholics in my family, and recently a death due to alcohol.
i'm not sure if ostracism is the way to go. if she feels like she's losing her friends it may drive her to drink more.
i think the best thing is to have a kind talk with her and see if you can find out why she drinks so much. if her drinking is a way for her to avoid some things that are bothering her, find out what they are. if it is within your reach to help her with those problems go ahead. if not, just try to encourage her to get counseling or reach out to family for help.
again, i don't really know the situation. but i don't think ostracism will help. she can always find people to hang out with who don't care if she's got an alcohol problem.
- todelete__20
be stern.
sit her down and say 'this is your brain. *lay an egg on the table. then say this is your brain on drugs. *pull out a hammer.
wait.
then smashe her hands with the hammer. she won't be able to lift her drink. then cook her the egg to console her.
ok. joke aside. i almost killed myself dec 17 1995 in a car wreck while driving drunk. the accident didn't set me straight, it was the look on my parents face when they ran into the hospital room that did. the fear in their eyes that they almost lost me set me straight.
you need to sit her down and be strong. tell her plain and simple what is on your mind. don't preach. if she's close to her family drop a picture of her mom on the table and say 'do you really want her to bury you?' or something.
she needs help.