sacred

  • Started
  • Last post
  • 21 Responses
  • kingjulien0

    DR. DOLEN
    So where do you know Alan from?

    FLETCH
    We play tennis at the club.

    DR. DOLEN
    Really. The California Racquet Club?

    FLETCH
    Yes.

    DR. DOLEN
    That's my club too. I haven't seen you there.

    FLETCH
    Well, I haven't played in a while because of these kidney pains.

    DR. DOLEN
    Right, and how long have you had these pains, Mr. Barber?

    FLETCH
    That's Babar.

    DR. DOLEN
    Two bs?

    FLETCH
    One. B-a-b-a-r.

    DR. DOLEN
    That's two.

    FLETCH
    But not right next to each other. I thought that's what you meant.

    DR. DOLEN
    Arnold Babar. Isn't there a children's book about
    an elephant named Babar?

    FLETCH
    I don't know. I don't have any.

    DR. DOLEN
    No children?

    FLETCH
    No elephants books.

    DR. DOLEN
    (eyes Fletch curiously)
    Still, it'd an odd name. I don't remember seeing it on the club registry.

    Fletch's eyes drift to Dolen's side table with its unnerving assortment of medical paraphernalia.

    FLETCH
    Oh, I don't belong formally. I've gone with my aunt.

    DR. DOLEN
    Your aunt?

    FLETCH
    Mrs. Smith.

    DR. DOLEN
    Joan or Margaret?

    FLETCH
    Right.

    DR. DOLEN
    Well, which one?

    FLETCH
    Margaret.

    DR. DOLEN
    Funny old bird.

    FLETCH
    Is she ever. I've got some stories....

    DR. DOLEN
    I'll bet. Shame about Ed.

    FLETCH
    (vamping)
    It was. Really a shame. To go so suddenly.

    DR. DOLEN
    Oh, he was dying for years.

    FLETCH
    Sure, but the end was so sudden.

    DR. DOLEN
    He was in intensive care for eight weeks.

    FLETCH
    Yes, but the very end, when he actually died, that was extremely sudden.
    (quickly)
    You know, Alan and I were recently speaking of
    dying. Told me Boyd Aviation took out a lot of
    insurance on him. You must have to be in some kind
    of perfect health to get that kind of policy.

    DR. DOLEN
    Bend over and drop your pants, Mr. Babar.

    FLETCH
    Oh really, there's no need to --
    we don't want to do that....

    DR. DOLEN
    Just relax....

    FLETCH
    Honest, I feel fine. You better be married.

    Fletch looks alarmed as Dolan pushes him into position. Dolan puts on a plastic glove.

    53 CLOSE - FLETCH

    FLETCH
    Did I say 'kidneys'? I meant my ear. Maybe I
    should see an ear dahhh --
    (as Dolan starts to probe from behind)
    Ever serve time?

    DR. DOLEN
    Breathe easy....

    FLETCH
    Whoa, look out there. You use the whole fist, Doc?

    DR. DOLEN
    Just relax.

    FLETCH
    (reacts to a poke)
    Gee, Alan's been looking kind of sick lately. Is he all right?

    DR. DOLEN
    I can't discuss another patient. You know that.
    (rising into frame and washing up)
    Well, I can't find anything wrong with you.

    FLETCH
    I'm sure it's not for a lack of looking. Maybe
    I should get a real complete physical.

    DR. DOLEN
    You can pull
    your pants up now.

    FLETCH
    I hope they still fit. Do I get to keep the glove?

    DR. DOLEN
    Tell the nurse when you've got a few free days. She'll
    make all the arrangements.

    FLETCH
    Thanks, Doc. Maybe I'll come back with a date. Or an elephant.

    --Fletch (1984)