peculiar
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- kingjulien
I woke up with this peculiar feeling in my tummy. For a second I imagined myself in London, sleeping on the cold wood floor of some skid row flat, with a toothless Czech couple next to me discussing plans to sell my kidney on eBay for 100 Norco's and a DVD boxset of Little House on the Prairie's first two seasons. Needless to say, it was strange and unsettling, and I didn't want to get up.
Perhaps it was the 4 Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes I watched last night, or the fact that when I lifted the toilet seat about an hour ago I was greeted with a present from my roomate, who is really easy-going and cool but has this tendency to forget to flush before he leaves for work.
I also think there are explosions going off in my mind, which feel like an artistc breakthrough, but just might be the stress of debt and a general sense of apathy about the world. I think listening to Bright Eyes' True Blue for the last hour while obsessing over trades for my NBA fantasy team didn't help, but nonethess, something odd is going on, and I wanna try and capture it.
I just had this remembrance from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest which made me smile. There was a scene early on where McMurphy attends a group session. He seems distant from the surroundings-aloof- until an argument breaks out amongst the patients. Harding, the intellectual, is mocked because he used the word peculiar to describe his cheating wife, which led to the group calling him gay, which he admits might be true, but nonetheless sure pissed him off. He starts babbling incoherently about how he's searching for meaning and form and content, and the absurdity and chaos of the moment is brilliant. The camera pauses on McMurphy's face, and there's a subtle shift where he goes from boredom to amusement and then to excitement and curiosity, all in a manner of 20 seconds. It's first rate acting, the type of thing missing from today's films.
Here's my point: I think I'm gonna be like McMurphy for a while, I'm gonna put on a little black beanie and a Mervyn's grey hoodie and embrace every wacko in my life with the sweet smile of a life lived, for experiences and memories and the joy of unconventional approaches to the world, one that continues to beat us down but also has a strange beauty to it if you approach it the right way.
- johndiggity0
where do you buy your pot?
- rasko40
I knew this was a kingjulien thread as soon as i had read as far as 'skid row flat'.
nice
- rasko40
"I also think there are explosions going off in my mind, which feel like an artistc breakthrough, but just might be the stress of debt and a general sense of apathy about the world."
I have similar bursts on some days, some weeks it happens quite regularly, maybe twice a day, then it doesn't happen for a while. For some reason I 'know' that it is a mild form of something somehow connected to bipolarism, which makes me feel special yet unnerved, in a retarded fashion.
What I want to do when I get those moments is to dive into a phone booth and spin round 3 or 4 times then burst out into the sky in my acrylic underpants and shiny vinyl belt, orbitting the Earth anti-clockwise at an alarming speed, thus slowing down time, then I can return to my moment and enjoy an entire day of it and see if I can make use of it.
Y'see, those moments usually happen first thing in the morning on sunny days, but I'm usually on the way to work, they gives me grand ideas of quitting booze and smoking, being ultra-productive at the weekends and constructing some incredible artistic adventure that will blow minds with its ultra-awesomeness. Then suddenly a cloud drifts in front of the sun and the doors on the train beep indicating my stop, off I step and away I trudge, along with the droves of mindless workers toiling in their daily drudge. (I like to think they are mindless because that elevates me above them, though if pressed I will admit that actually that amongst them are interesting and talented people) In a blink I arrive at work and anaesthetise myself with coffee and chocolate, back into the drone syndrome, productive, unquestioning, too busy to ponder, its all under the mat, out of sight out of mind. Must pay the bills, the edge is near.
And so the cycle continues.
- Dublao70
The 100th monkey theory taking affect here. Know what I mean, I’m sure you do.
- kingjulien0
rasko, amen brother..
- ********0
I awoke with a peculiar feeling that I would never be able to read a longass thread about feeling peculiar let alone imagine myself typing that word twice in one paragraph.
- ********0
The people of Pompeii were quite unprepared for the eruption of Vesuvius - getting on with their busy lives, in blissful ignorance of what was to come. Portents of impending disaster, though, were there - why did no-one pick up on them?
- shellie0
that was an entertaining post i must say. *golf clap*
i especially liked the comment about the turd in the toilet. it was brilliant. bravo! *claps again*
- Gorbie0
they knew they pissed off the gods... they just didn't know how much.
- rasko40
our lives revolve around productivity and non thought, that is, thought that transcends the 'necessary' mode of the consumerist spectacle. We are controlled through what we are given as 'freedom' and 'choice', notions which deem us to remain within and part of the system, else be cast along the wayside as a heretic outsider, an 'oddball', a 'kook'.
the subtlety of it is a work of genius, its contruction invisible, its implementation seamless.
- ********0
Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don’t realize this because almost everybody is suffering from it, so it is considered normal. This incessant mental noise creates a false mind-made self that casts a shadow of fear and suffering.
- rasko40
true indeed. we are constantly reminded about the necessity to work for the future, of how bleak things will be without financial security. they say that in London, 2 thirds of people are just 2 paychecks away from homelessness. Probably rings true for most places.
- Gorbie0
not me... i got credit.
- ********0
chargin that pretty princess dog food
- Gorbie0
:^|
yes.